


Ever After

by flowerfan



Series: Woods [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Broadway, Canon compliant through S5, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Reunion Fic, future!fic, relationship building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-23 08:29:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6110845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After much soul-searching, Blaine and Kurt have reunited, and are ready to enjoy themselves together in New York while performing on Broadway in <i>Into the Woods.</i>  But they and their characters discover that getting your wish doesn’t guarantee happiness.  Although they are certain they want to be together, circumstances take a toll – the stress of performing every night, Kurt’s grief over the loss of his father, and Blaine’s struggle to give enough but not too much of himself away.  This is the beginning of their “ever after.”</p><p>Note:  This sequel gives more insight into Kurt and his journey, following the events in The Journeying.  As in that story, this one is based on what might have happened if Kurt and Blaine had reacted differently to the break up in 6x01 than they did in canon; if events hadn’t brought them back together as soon, and if forgiveness hadn’t come so easily.</p><p>Canon compliant through end of season 5 (and the breakup as described in 6x01).  Tw: discussion of Burt's death (which occurred in The Journeying); some discussion of past depression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Additional warning: The people in this story are not perfect. The characters you love may make (and may have made) bad decisions. But they do work things out in the end.

Kurt rolls over, squeezes one eye open to see the clock next to his bed, and groans. It’s barely five in the morning, and yet he is awake. He pulls a pillow to his chest, shuffles himself under the blankets, and tries to go back to sleep, with no success.

Kurt is used to waking up too early. Lately, he uses the time to think about his dad. He goes over memories in his head, lets himself feel how much he misses him. Tries to dwell on the good, how fortunate he was to have a man like Burt Hummel as his father, and not think only about the pain of his death. Then Kurt normally gets up, showers, and does some work on the computer while he waits for the rest of the world to wake up. But recently, his thoughts haven’t been nearly as lonely. Because now there’s Blaine.

It’s been almost three weeks since Blaine agreed to try again. Kurt counts that night as the moment they got back together. Since then, Kurt’s mind has been filled with thoughts of Blaine – happy, hopeful, _can’t believe it’s true but apparently it actually is_ thoughts. 

During this time, he and Blaine have been feeling out their new relationship, over coffees and lunch dates every few days, and moments stolen away from rehearsals and performances of _Into the Woods_. The first days were confusing, neither of them knowing what the other expected, but finally one morning when the two of them were stumbling over their words on the phone, trying to figure out what to do with themselves, Blaine spit it out. “I need to go slow,” he had said, sounding apologetic and uncertain. Kurt had hurriedly agreed, reassuring Blaine that it was okay. He can wait for Blaine, this time. Blaine has waited for him before. It really isn’t a problem. 

It doesn’t really surprise Kurt that Blaine isn’t exactly ready to jump into bed with him. Blaine is not the same person he was when they were last together. If Kurt was the kind of person that believed in auras, he would swear that Blaine’s is an entirely different color than it had been back in high school. Blaine is less naïve, less carefree. Less confident of himself in many ways. Although he still has that easy charm with strangers, it has been tempered with caution. 

Kurt can see it in the way Blaine interacts with Mona and his other new friends (they’re not really _new_ to Blaine, he has to remind himself, they spent three years at school together). The McKinley crowd treated Blaine like a diva, a ball-hogger who they could relentlessly pick away at but would nevertheless maintain his position as a talented success story regardless of their efforts. In contrast, Blaine’s friends from Berklee clearly met Blaine at a much different place in his life; he had been depressed, kicked out of NYADA, and was trying to get his life back on track. The weaknesses which he had tried so hard to hide in high school were on display for the world to see. His friends saw them, and accepted him, warts and all.

Kurt understands that he doesn’t know this Blaine very well yet, and that nothing between them is really going to work out if they remain strangers. 

Of course, there are many things about Blaine that haven’t changed – the way he looks at him from under those ridiculous eyebrows when something is funny, the way his fingers naturally twine with Kurt’s, still warm from his coffee cup. Important things like his loyalty to his friends, never more on display than when Blaine came to Burt’s funeral and held Kurt in his arms, even though Blaine was still so scared of being with Kurt. Blaine’s heart is still strong; fractured, perhaps, but mending, and full of love for Kurt that he thinks Blaine is still not sure how to handle.

Regardless of Blaine’s lack of confidence in some areas, however, there’s no question in his mind that Blaine still loves him. He knows it when their eyes catch, when Blaine is looking at him with the same look Kurt knows he is giving right back, _oh shit it’s really you and it’s really me and we’re really doing this and thank god, it’s really happening._ He knows it when they kiss goodnight, pulling back but still wrapped around each other, breathing each other in, waiting for their emotions to catch up to what their bodies still so clearly desire. 

Kurt doesn’t mind taking things slowly. And it’s not as if he and Blaine have a lot of free time, anyway. Now that they have had a chance to run the show in previews, Deb has begun making adjustments, calling them in for extra rehearsals, trying to get everything perfect before their official opening night. She’s hemmed in by Sondheim’s extensive score, which – thankfully – she’s not changing, but she is determined to put her own mark on the show. Up to this point the production has been well received, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best it can be, as she reminds them each afternoon. 

So some days Blaine and Kurt meet up for coffee before rehearsal, or get lunch at a place in the neighborhood they haven’t tried yet. Sometimes they don’t eat at all, just go for a walk, re-learning each other’s rhythms. 

One day Blaine and Mona take Kurt uptown to have lunch with their friend Julian, a dark haired, slight little wisp of a young man who is apparently a violin prodigy. It was clear from the first moment that while Julian is terribly shy, he is also fiercely protective of Blaine, insisting on sliding into the booth next to him, and acting as if Kurt might slip poison into his drink on a whim. By the end of the meal Julian had eased up a bit, but still eyed Kurt warily. He didn’t ever pull Kurt aside and give the “don’t hurt my friend” speech; instead, he whispered something in Blaine’s ear that caused him to tear up, and Kurt stepped away as they fell into a tight embrace.

“Julian doesn’t like me very much,” Kurt said to Blaine as they rode the subway back downtown, Mona having left them to go run an errand before rehearsal.

Blaine frowned a little as he turned to Kurt. “It’s not that he doesn’t like you. He’s just concerned about me.”

“I know.”

Blaine leaned against Kurt’s back, a hand on his shoulder, and whispered softly in his ear. “I like you. I love you. It’ll be okay.” And Kurt relaxed, stayed in the moment, enjoyed the feeling of his boyfriend’s breath against his neck. This isn’t easy, he had thought then, and since - but it will be worth it. He knows it will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my beta, perryavenue!


	2. Chapter 2

At the same time that Kurt is tossing and turning in his bed, the sun not quite yet over the horizon, Blaine is asleep on the pull-out couch in the apartment he shares with Mona. He doesn’t know Kurt has trouble sleeping past five. There’s a lot he doesn’t know about Kurt’s life now.

The night he and Kurt had gotten back together, Blaine had been petrified. Although he figured Kurt would appreciate the bouquet of white tulips, he was well aware that flowers alone wouldn’t fix what was broken. So he had tried his best to be honest, to open himself up to Kurt, and prayed that what Kurt saw would be enough. Apparently it was.

After their talk at the coffee shop, they had walked back to Blaine and Mona’s apartment. For a while they had stood outside the door together in a daze, neither of them wanting to say goodnight. Finally Kurt had taken Blaine’s hand, raised it to his mouth and softly kissed his palm. 

“Can I call you tomorrow?” Kurt asked, shy again.

“Of course,” Blaine had replied. Kurt had backed away, but before he could get very far, Blaine had stumbled towards him, wrapping him up in a tight embrace. This was where he belonged, he was sure of it.

Now it is almost three weeks later, and Blaine is still sure he belongs with Kurt. Unfortunately he’s not with him right now – instead, he’s waking up once again on Mona’s couch. Every time Blaine apologizes and promises to find another apartment Mona just scowls at him and points out that he can’t afford an apartment on his own and he’s unlikely to find any roommates as nice as she is. Blaine has decided not to argue for now; maybe when they get a better idea of how long the show will run, he’ll figure it out.

There’s a cool breeze coming in through an open window, and rain is coming down hard outside. This matters very little to Blaine. Frankly, nothing much seems to matter at all, except for Kurt. He can’t help thinking about him, about how unlikely it is that they have found each other again. (Not unlikely at all, a little voice in his head says, you’re soulmates… But Blaine has pushed that voice aside for a long time, and it’s still tentative, uncertain, a quiet echo from the past.)

Soulmates or not, however, there is no question that he and Kurt are back together. The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of awkward and wonderful, with wonderful winning out most of the time. Kurt’s voice on the phone, his hand on Blaine’s arm, his eyes meeting his… it’s more than Blaine ever thought he would have again. When he thinks harder about it he gets bogged down in all the things that they still have to work out, all the things that can go wrong. But right now, warm in his bed and just rousing to the thought of another day with Kurt in it, all he feels is happiness. Right on cue, his phone dings with a text.

**Morning, sunshine.**

Apparently Kurt isn’t very affected by the rain, either.

At the theater later, Deb gathers the cast together for notes. Everyone is sitting in a clump in the largest of the backstage rooms, Blaine on the floor next to Mona. Kurt walks towards him slowly, tilts his head at the space next to him, and sits down when Blaine nods.

Kurt leans into him for a moment, shoulders brushing. Blaine is looking ahead, listening attentively to Deb, but he can see the smile on Kurt’s face. 

As the group breaks up, heading off to get ready, Serena pulls Kurt aside. Blaine and Mona head off towards their respective dressing rooms. Mark grins at Blaine as he takes his first costume down from the rack. “So, you and Kurt?”

Blaine can’t help the blush that floods his cheeks. “Yeah.” Kurt and Blaine hadn’t wanted people in the cast to know immediately that they were a couple – it all seemed too fragile at first - but over the past few days that concern seems to have dissipated, and they are no longer trying to hide anything. 

Ricky and Joseph, who play the Steward and the King, respectively, perform some kind of intricate high five routine. “Knew it wouldn’t take long,” Ricky says. “You’re too pretty to be alone, sweetheart.” Ricky is tall and thin, and has a somewhat permanent scowl on his angular face.

“Kind of surprised it’s Kurt, though,” Joseph adds.

“True,” agrees Ricky.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Blaine says. 

“You’re just awfully _nice,_ ” Joseph draws out the word. 

“And Kurt… not so much,” Ricky says cattily.

“I don’t think you know Kurt very well,” Blaine says, trying to keep a hold on his temper.

“We could poll the cast, I’m guessing someone does,” Joseph says, giving his friend a sympathetic look as Ricky pushes past them and leaves the room.

Blaine’s face is burning, and he is on the brink of doing something he is really going to regret.

“A little respect, now,” Mark says, frowning as Ricky leaves. “Blaine and Kurt have a history.”

Joseph looks at Blaine, curious. “Do tell,” he says, crossing his legs and propping his face on his arm.

“Honestly, it’s none of your business.” Blaine isn’t particularly interested in sharing right now – or, perhaps, ever. Joseph and Ricky have seemed harmless enough in the time the four of them have been sharing the dressing room. But now Blaine realizes he hasn’t really gotten to know them very well. Both men are older than he and Mark, and while they haven’t said anything directly, Blaine suspects that they aren’t thrilled at being cast in smaller roles while Blaine and Mark, younger and less experienced, play the princes. Not to mention Kurt, in an even larger role as Jack. Maybe that’s what is behind this.

“Come on, we need to know what to expect,” Joseph continues, undeterred. “Hook-ups in the cast are the best when they have a lot of drama. Who do you think will storm out first? Is Kurt the type to kiss and tell? Potential third for a love triangle?” Joseph points to Mark, questioning. “Too bad you guys don’t have any real scenes together, that could make it more interesting.”

“It’s not a hook-up,” Blaine stutters out, trying to focus on getting his costume pieces on in the right order.

“Oh, so you do want to talk about it,” Ricky croons as he comes back into the room.

“Enough,” Mark says, annoyed. “For god’s sake, the only drama queen in here is you. Shut up and let us get ready.”

Blaine pulls his coat on, grabs his boots from under the counter, and leaves.

“Guess Blaine’s the first one to storm out,” he hears Joseph yell from the dressing room.

Mark catches up to him in the makeup room a few minutes later. “Don’t mind them,” he says, looking around first to make sure no one is paying attention. “The excitement will wear off soon and they’ll move on to something else.”

But something Joseph said, amongst all the drivel, is bothering Blaine.

“Did you know Kurt before this show?” he asks Mark quietly.

Mark looks away, and Blaine knows the answer before he says it. “I didn’t really know him. But I had heard of him.”

“What had you heard?”

Mark shakes his head. “Nothing, really. Just gossip.”

“What kind of gossip? Bad?”

Mark sniffs. “Is there any other kind?” He sits down in the chair next to Blaine, digs through the box for the foundation with his name on it. “Kurt is young, and good looking, and very, very, talented. Which makes people jealous. And on top of that, he’s got an attitude that puts some people off.”

Blaine presses his lips together, knowing that not everyone views Kurt the way he does. And he doesn’t need to defend Kurt to Mark. He wishes people wouldn’t judge what they don’t really know. But still… “Why did Ricky say that… about polling the cast?”

“I don’t know. Maybe someone here’s gone out with him?” Mark shrugs. “Don’t let it get to you, okay? Talk to Kurt if you want to, but don’t let them get under your skin. People will say anything in this business to rattle the competition.”

“The competition?”

“Yes, Prince Charming, you of the soaring voice and movie star eyes. Kurt isn’t the only overly talented kid in this cast, you know.”

Before the curtain comes up, Blaine finds Kurt in his dressing room, chatting calmly with Steve, who is already in his Baker’s costume. Kurt’s eyes brighten when Blaine comes in, and a smile blooms across his face. Blaine puts a hand on his shoulder and leans down to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Love you. Break a leg.”

Kurt’s smile stretches wider, and he grabs Blaine’s hand, squeezing it tight. “You too.”

Blaine has dealt with jealousy before, and although it isn’t his favorite pastime, he is no stranger to the underhanded tricks pulled by people who thought he – or Kurt – didn’t deserve the good fortune that had come their way. Including each other. But what he and Kurt are building now isn’t anyone else’s business but theirs, and he’s not going to let backstage drama get in the way.

In fact, Blaine does a great job at putting the whole incident out of his mind. But that night, walking out of the theater arm in arm, a catcall from behind them brings it back.

“Heading home, boys?” Ricky calls, in a rather sleazy tone of voice. “Let me know if you want some company.”

Kurt doesn’t seem to notice him at all; he just keeps on walking. Apparently he is a lot better at this than Blaine, who immediately feels his heart speed up in annoyance. 

They don’t talk about it, though, both coming down from a tiring performance, lost in their own thoughts as they make their way back downtown. The rain has stopped, but the air isn’t fresh like it should be, still humid and warm. Kurt walks Blaine to his apartment again, and they pause there, neither of them sure what the next step is. Today Kurt had been busy in the afternoon, and they didn’t see each other until they met at the theater. They haven’t spent any nights together at all, always separating after a show, each going back to their own apartments. Blaine appreciates Kurt’s patience. He never wants to leave Kurt, hates it a little more each night when they part, but at the same time, he’s not sure he’s ready for what spending the night together would mean.

“I’m actually exhausted,” Blaine finally says, hoping Kurt will understand. Kurt just laughs and rests his head on to Blaine’s shoulder.

“Me too. I feel like I’m about to collapse,” Kurt agrees. He picks his head up, looking searchingly at Blaine. It’s like he’s reading his mind. “There aren’t any rules here. We don’t have to do something together every day. We can do whatever we want.” Kurt rubs his face, shakes his head. “It’s wearing, being in a show like this, night after night. Sometimes the best thing we can do for each other is make sure we get enough rest.”

Blaine feels grateful for Kurt’s understanding. Except what he really wants is for Kurt to come to sleep _with_ him. He can’t think of anything that would be better right now than to curl up with Kurt, safe and warm together, and just sleep. But he can’t think of a way to say it properly, and besides, his couch isn’t the most inviting place for a sleepover.

So Blaine just smiles, and nods, and accepts Kurt’s lingering but rather chaste kiss. There will be plenty of time for more another night.

The next morning Blaine wakes to the sound of a text. He rolls over, not quite sure he heard it, but then there’s another one, and another.

He sits up, stretches, and finds his phone on the coffee table.

**I lied. I really do want to see you every day.**

**I mean, more than just at work.**

**Shit, did I wake you up? What time do you usually get up? It’s too late to ask that, isn’t it, obviously if you are reading this you are already awake. I’ll stop now.**

**But let me know when you get up.**

Blaine grins, crosses his legs underneath himself, and texts back.

**Usually I get up around seven or eight and go for a run. But today I was going to sleep in…**

Kurt replies immediately.

**Shit, it’s Monday, day off, I forgot. Go back to sleep. Sorry.**

**Nah, it’s okay. Besides, I’d like to see you too.**

**Yeah?**

Duh, thinks Blaine.

**Yeah.**

Blaine’s laundry is in dire need of attention, and he promised Mona he’d help her with some errands today. And he does need to get a run in. So he and Kurt decide to meet for dinner, at a place in the East Village neither of them have been to before. 

The restaurant turns out to be a bit more hip than they had intended. Although the food is good, the place is ridiculously noisy, and they finally give up at any attempt at conversation. Kurt winds his foot around Blaine’s calf under the table, and the waitress brings their check quickly when they decline coffee and dessert.

Outside, Blaine takes a deep breath, relieved to be somewhere at least relatively quiet. 

Kurt sighs. “Not the best choice.”

“It’s okay.” Blaine looks around. It’s just getting dark, but the weather is pleasant and there’s no sign of yesterday’s rain. “Want to go for a walk?”

Kurt takes his hand and they stroll aimlessly around the neighborhood, finally sitting down on a bench in Washington Square. There’s a crowd of students nearby with purple NYU sweatshirts on, handing out flyers for some kind of performance. Blaine wonders what his life would have been like if he had gone to Tisch instead of Berklee. 

“Did you keep in touch with Elliott?” Blaine asks. 

Kurt glances at the NYU students, understands the connection. “A little bit.”

“He’s still in the city, right?” Blaine has seen his posts on Facebook.

“I think so. He’s doing what he wanted to do, front man in a band.” 

“Still doing the Starchild thing?” Blaine asks.

“As far as I can tell.” Kurt laughs, turns to look at Blaine. “Did you know he actually wrote a song called ‘Glitter Rock Vampire’?”

“That’s awesome.” Blaine tosses an idea around in his head for a moment. It doesn’t seem ridiculous. “Do you want to try to get in touch again, get dinner with him or something? He’d like that Indian place over on Second Avenue.” Kurt’s friendship with Elliott had always seemed like a really good thing for Kurt, once Blaine got over worrying about whether they were more than friends. Despite his stage persona, Elliott actually had a remarkably calm approach to life, a frequent contrast to the drama of the McKinley crew.

Kurt hesitates, though, and looks away, embarrassed. Suddenly Blaine’s stomach sinks. “Oh, shit, were you guys…?”

Kurt’s head comes up. “What? No, no... Elliott wasn’t interested in me, not like that.” He sighs. “Getting together is a good idea, actually. We should invite him to do something. You’re right. I’m just not used to thinking that way.”

“What way?”

Kurt shrugs. “Making plans, doing stuff with people. My dad thinks-” he stumbles over his words, “thought - I spent too much time by myself. But it wasn’t like I was sitting home eating bon-bons.” He worries his hands together, rubbing at a stray cuticle. “I knew it was going to take a lot of work to make it here. I don’t see what’s so wrong with working hard at it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Blaine says, putting a hand over Kurt’s.

Kurt laughs again, bitterly this time. “If we do make plans… you should know, before you see Elliott… I tried to kiss him once.”

Blaine is more surprised by Kurt’s tone than his words. “Oh?”

“It was New Year’s Eve, the first one after you and I broke up. I was drunk, really, really, drunk. I was feeling miserable because I had decided not to go home to Lima for Christmas. I stayed because I wanted to get some work done on my end of semester project at NYADA, with the Lexington Home players, and things were kind of a mess. But then when my dad and Carole came to visit for Christmas, they told me you were going to Boston in January. If I had gone home, I might have seen you before you left. But I missed my chance. And hence… miserable. And drunk.”

Blaine keeps his hand on Kurt’s, giving him a gentle squeeze. There’s no point in worrying about that missed opportunity now. “So, Elliott?” It’s not as if he really wants to hear this, but it sounds like Kurt needs to say it.

Kurt takes his hands out from under Blaine’s and covers his face. “Elliott dragged me to a party with some other friends of his from NYU. I didn’t know anyone there, and wasn’t really interested in meeting anyone. I just hung out by the bar and mixed myself drink after drink. I figured eventually I’d find one that would make me feel better. Then Elliott made me dance with him, and I had my eyes closed…” 

Kurt takes his hands off his face, and turns to look at Blaine. “I started to kiss him, and he stopped me right away. He was nice about it, telling me he didn’t mind, it was no big deal. He knew I wasn’t actually interested in kissing him. He knew I was thinking about you.”

“The next day, I felt terrible, and not just from the ridiculous amount of vodka I had consumed. I went over to his place with a gallon of orange juice and a dozen homemade blueberry muffins, and sobbed out my apology. Elliott was totally cool about it, really. But that’s pretty much why I haven’t seen him since then. I just felt like an idiot.”

Blaine isn’t sure what to say. He feels a little badly for Elliott, truth be told, that he knew with such surety that Kurt wasn’t into him. But then, he had believed Elliott when he told Blaine that he didn’t think about Kurt _that way._ “I can see how it would be awkward. But Elliott was a good friend to you. I’m guessing he really wasn’t upset.”

Kurt nods. “You’re probably right.” He sighs. “Anyway, I decided after that to focus on school, and training, and auditions.”

“That seems to have worked out.” Blaine smiles at Kurt, turns to catch his gaze. “You’ve had some great parts.” He realizes as he says this that he doesn’t feel resentful anymore, he is just proud of Kurt. Ridiculously proud of his strong, talented boyfriend. _It’s about time you got yourself in line,_ he thinks to himself, and pulls Kurt in to a hug.

“Mmm,” Kurt says, digging his face into Blaine’s neck and snuggling into his embrace. “What did I say to deserve this?”

Blaine just shakes his head and pulls Kurt tighter against him, his hands pressing firmly against his shoulders and back. “I just love you.” It feels so good to be here, he doesn’t want to ever leave. Kurt is threading his fingers up into the hair on the back of his neck, and then they are kissing, harder and with more passion than they have so far. 

Blaine hears himself moan as Kurt tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth, and Blaine jerks back, overwhelmed for a moment at the intensity of it. Kurt freezes against him, and Blaine sees his mistake immediately, remembering that night at the cast party just a few weeks ago when Blaine stopped them, unable to let himself be close to Kurt.

“No, it’s okay,” he reassures Kurt, pulling him tightly against him as Kurt instinctively leans back. “It’s good, it’s very good. I was just…” Blaine tilts his head, tries to catch Kurt’s eye. “Hey, look at me.”

Kurt does, relaxing a little bit as Blaine’s eyes meet his. “I want you,” Blaine says seriously. “I want this. It’s just a lot… I – I don’t know how to say it. What you do to me, how you make me feel… There’s never been anyone else like you.” Because kissing other boys had never been like kissing Kurt. Sure, there had been attraction, but it was never the same. It had never mattered in the same way. It never would.

Kurt’s smile returns, as he rests his forehead against Blaine’s. “It’s been a long time for me, too. And I’m pretty sure the kiss with the glitter rock vampire didn’t count.”

Blaine pushes the hair away from Kurt’s eyes, flickering dark blue at him in the light of the street lamp. “Are you saying you haven’t been with anyone…?”

Kurt sits back, but still keeps his eyes on Blaine’s. “Nothing real. I tried speed dating right after we broke up –an abysmal failure. Then I entertained a brief crush on a professor who was more than 20 years older than me, and had just come out of the closet. He had kids almost our age. We dated a few times; it didn’t go anywhere. Then the almost kiss with Elliott… not much of note after that.”

Now it’s Blaine’s turn to feel embarrassed. “I had a few boyfriends.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“How do you know?”

“If you meant to keep them a secret, you shouldn’t have posted about them on Facebook.”

That’s fair enough. Although Blaine hadn’t really considered that Kurt would be looking at his Facebook page. “None of them meant anything,” Blaine says, knowing in his heart how very true this statement is. “I never really let them.”

Kurt pulls Blaine against him, and they rock together gently for a moment, taking comfort in the other’s presence. “Kurt?” Blaine twists, wanting to see Kurt’s face. He wants Kurt to understand.

“Mmm?” Kurt’s eyes are soft and sure.

“You... you mean everything to me.”


	3. Chapter 3

A few days later, Kurt finds Blaine quickly after the show is over, knocking on his dressing room door and opening it when he hears Blaine acknowledge him. Joseph looks up and gives him an icy glance. Kurt isn’t sure what’s going on there, but he doesn’t have time for games right now.

“Hey, great show,” Kurt says, giving Blaine a quick peck on the cheek. “Can I talk to you when you’re done here?”

Blaine gives Kurt a “what’s going on?” look, but obediently stands up, checks around his table, and grabs his jacket. “I’m done.”

They go out into the hallway, and Kurt takes Blaine’s hand, leading him to a quiet spot backstage, in the room where the old sets go to die. He’s been wanting to talk to Blaine about this for days. 

It seems like Blaine is having a harder time saying goodnight each time they part, holding on longer, cuddling close and enjoying breathing him in. But he’s still been skittish about taking their relatively chaste, mostly in public kisses any further. Kurt isn’t sure what the answer is, but he wants to talk about it. Which is also a problem, since their dates are always in public places. He thought about trying to talk over the phone, or text, but it seems too important for that – or, at least, it might be. It might not. He can’t tell, and that’s why he needs to see Blaine’s face for this conversation.

Although right now, given that Kurt still hasn’t said anything, Blaine has the face of a kid who is afraid that Halloween is about to be cancelled. Better spit it out. He keeps Blaine’s hand in his, gives it a squeeze.

“Any plans for Monday night?” They are just a few days away from their weekly day off. Being a Broadway star is harder than it looks, especially if you are trying to plan a romantic evening with your boyfriend.

Blaine shakes his head. “No.”

Kurt pulls Blaine down to sit on a sagging old couch. “Would you like to come to my place for dinner?”

Kurt sees the uncertainty flicker in Blaine’s eyes, and he rushes to reassure him. “That’s not code for anything else. I’d just really like to cook for you, relax on the couch and watch a movie.” He glances down at where they are sitting. “I promise you my couch is less dusty than this one.” Kurt pushes away the thought of the only time Blaine has been to his place. He hopes that hasn’t created irreparably bad memories of his apartment for Blaine; he quite likes his apartment, and the idea of Blaine in it.

Blaine doesn’t answer. He’s biting his lip, inexplicably fascinated by a broken palm tree made out of plywood crammed in a corner next to three old typewriters.

“Blaine? We won’t go anywhere near the bedroom. We can even set a curfew.” Kurt reaches out to touch Blaine’s shoulder. 

Blaine just shakes his head.

Kurt’s stomach sinks with disappointment, but he swallows it down. “Okay, that’s okay. But… can you maybe tell me why?” Talking about this is ridiculously hard, but Kurt needs to know what’s wrong. If he’s been misinterpreting Blaine’s admittedly mixed signals. Maybe he can fix it. Oh god, what if he can’t fix it? “Do you not want to be alone with me – are you not comfortable-”

“No, no, that’s not it at all,” Blaine interrupts him, and Kurt goes quiet, waits while Blaine takes a deep breath, straightens his shoulders and turns to face him. “You know what I miss most about when we lived together in Bushwick?” 

“Sam?”

Blaine barks out a laugh, and just like that, the tension is broken. “Yes, I do miss Sam, actually. But that’s not what I was going to say.”

“So, what do you miss?” Kurt brushes a curl off Blaine’s forehead. His hair is still damp from his post-show shower, and his short curls are beyond adorable.

“Just sleeping with you,” Blaine says, his voice suddenly gone quiet. 

The air rushes out of Kurt’s lungs, and he stares at Blaine, speechless for a moment. That is not where he thought this conversation was going. And judging by Blaine’s nervous expression, he hadn’t expected it to go here, either.

But then a determined look comes over Blaine’s face. “I miss brushing our teeth together. I miss getting our pajamas on and climbing under the covers, our feet cold on each other’s legs. I miss you staying up too late looking at cat videos, and teasing me for yelling out loud when I read comic books. I miss curling up on your chest, listening to your heartbeat.”

Kurt breathes out a wet laugh, wrapping an arm around Blaine’s shoulders and pulling him closer. “I miss that too. Nothing would make me happier than to do that again.” He takes a deep breath, not wanting to ruin the moment, but still not exactly sure that Blaine has answered his question. “We can do it anytime you want, you know. This Monday, or some other day. Whenever you want.”

“This Monday would be good,” Blaine says softly against Kurt’s neck.

“Blaine?” Kurt shifts, tilts Blaine’s head so he can see his eyes. “Why were you scared to tell me that?”

Blaine shrugs. He moves to hide his face but stops himself, looks back at Kurt. “It’s embarrassing. How much I want you. How much my body wants yours, even if…”

“Even if what?” Kurt asks, not sure he wants to know the answer.

“Even if it’s not going to work out,” Blaine says sadly. “I’m scared to get used to having you, if I’m just going to lose you again.”

Kurt’s heart is pounding. Blaine is still wrapped around him, breathing hard against his chest, while simultaneously talking about them breaking up again. Kurt can’t help but feel responsible for having gotten them into this mess, for destroying Blaine’s certainty that they are meant to be together, that they will survive whatever challenges life throws at them. He thinks about what his life will be like if they don’t make it this time. Surely they won’t get another chance. 

He pets Blaine’s hair, holds him tight, tries to think of what he can say to reassure him. Why Blaine should believe that this is worth the risk.

“Can I tell you something?” Kurt asks.

Blaine nods, his chin pressing into Kurt’s collarbone.

“Promise not to think I’m a creepy stalker.”

Blaine snorts. “That ship has sailed.”

“I know when you found out I was in the show at rehearsal that first day, you were surprised that I was there.”

“This isn’t news. Surprised doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

“Shush, let me talk.” Kurt moves his hand to the back of Blaine’s neck, gently rubbing a thumb over the short hairs there. “You have to realize, I was there because of you. Because I wanted to see you, to see if we could make it work again.”

“I know, you told me. You’d been planning this for months, creepy stalker.”

“Not just months.”

Blaine pulls back, looks at Kurt quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“I had been thinking for a long time about what might happen when you graduated from college. I was really hoping that you would wind up back here in New York. I might have entertained a few meet-cute fantasies….” Despite his best intentions, Kurt is having trouble getting this out. Now he’s the one who is embarrassed.

But Blaine doesn’t seem to mind the idea of Kurt thinking about him that way, if the smile creeping across his face is any indication.

“Oh? What type of fantasies?” 

“You really want to know?” 

“Sure.”

Blaine seems to mean it, so Kurt tilts his head back, tries to remember. “You name it, I probably thought of it. You move into the apartment across from mine and need some help moving in, you frequent my favorite coffee shop and I sneak up behind you and give the barista your order, I see you working at a bookstore restocking Vogue issues and I ask you for the latest one…”

“Or we’re in a show together.” Blaine is smiling, eyes warm on Kurt’s.

“Obviously. With all the possible variations.”

“Variations?”

“Well, we could both be cast in the chorus and have to work together, or we could be characters who are rivals for the same person’s affection, or you could be working with the music staff and have to teach me the music,” Kurt’s ticking the possibilities off on his fingers, loving the way Blaine is grinning now. “I could be on the costume staff, and have to measure you for your costume. Or we could both be performing in a charity showcase, or you could come in to audition for my play-”

“Your play?” Blaine tilts his head, curious. “What do you mean?”

Kurt feels his face warm. He hadn’t meant to say that. “Nothing. I’m just… sometimes I think about writing a play. Or a musical.”

Blaine doesn’t laugh, of course. He never would. He’s Blaine. “I think that’s a great idea. You’d write the cleverest dialogue ever to be spoken on Broadway. You’d be the Aaron Sorkin of theater.”

“And you could write the songs.” He knows how Blaine used to play around with melodies and arrangements. He hopes he never stopped.

Blaine’s eyes widen, and he takes in a little breath, staring at Kurt. “You _have_ thought about this.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say.” Kurt draws in a deep breath, lets it out, and takes both of Blaine’s hands in his. “I can’t promise you we’ll work out this time.” He hears the Witch’s words in Act 2 echo through his head: _How do you say it will be all right when you know that it might not be true?_ “No one can make that kind of promise. But you have to know that I’m not taking this lightly, not in the least. I’ve known for a long time that I would do almost anything for another chance with you, Blaine. And I can promise you that I will try, harder than I ever have before, harder than I’ve ever tried for anything, to make this work.”

Kurt leans closer and puts a hand on Blaine’s cheek, uses his fingertip to wipe away a tear. “I love you, Blaine Anderson. You are the love of my life, and I don’t intend to ever let you go again.”

For a moment Kurt almost wonders if Blaine even heard him, he is so still. But then Blaine surges forward, kissing Kurt passionately, his hands on Kurt’s neck, and shoulders, and finding their way up into his hair. 

Kurt is shifting under Blaine, and he stretches out his neck, hoping Blaine will take the hint, but before he can find out there’s a loud squeak that definitely did not come from either one of them, and they jump apart. 

One of the theater employees is standing in the doorway, one hand on the squeaky door, the other holding a bag of what is probably trash. He looks tired, and bored. “You boys planning to stay overnight? ‘Cause otherwise you should probably leave before you get locked in.” The man rolls his eyes and leaves the room.

Blaine looks up at Kurt through his fingers, and bursts out into laughter. Kurt joins him, standing up and offering Blaine his hand. Blaine takes it easily, lets himself be pulled off the couch, and then loops his arms over Kurt’s shoulders, smiling broadly. “Guess we almost got our first sleepover after all.”


	4. Chapter 4

By the time the Monday of their sleepover arrives, Blaine has worked himself up past nervousness into an almost zen-like calm. He had gotten up early, gone for a run, showered, shaved, spent an inordinate amount of time on his hair, packed his overnight bag, re-packed his overnight bag, and run out to the store to buy a new toiletry bag because his old one looked too ratty. 

Now he’s at the bakery, the one Mona had promised him had absolutely the best cannoli in the neighborhood. But the guy behind the counter informs him that their cannoli really need to be eaten within a few hours of when they are filled, or they lose their crunch. Blaine finds it hard to believe that cannoli have such a short expiration date, but he supposes that’s what he gets for coming to such a snobby place. He steps out of line, lets the tall woman with a body that looks like she has never consumed a cannoli in her life place her order, and reconsiders his options.

Blaine had volunteered to bring dessert, and when he had suggested cannoli, Kurt seemed happy. But obviously Kurt won’t care if he brings something else, right? Like maybe those eclairs, or tiramisu? Pignoli cookies? On the other hand, sometimes Kurt is very particular, especially if he’s expecting something. Maybe he has his heart set on cannoli. Maybe he’s planned a whole meal around them. Or maybe he’s developed an antipathy towards eclairs.

Blaine shakes his head, laughing silently at himself. There’s an easy way to solve this dilemma. He pulls out his phone and calls Kurt.

“Blaine?”

“Hey, there’s a problem with the cannoli – long story – so I was wondering what your second choice was?”

There’s no response from Kurt, except for a sniffling noise.

“Kurt? Are you okay?”

“I’m… I’m fine… I just…”

All thoughts of dessert have disappeared from Blaine’s head. “Kurt,” he says more softly, stepping out of the store onto the sidewalk. “What happened?”

“Nothing…” Sniff. “I was talking to Carole, and I’m just…”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Sometimes Blaine forgets that Burt passed just a few weeks ago. He imagines Kurt doesn’t ever forget. “Want me to come over now?” 

“No, you don’t have to do that,” Kurt says.

“I don’t mind. I’m just a few blocks away.”

Silence.

“You’d be doing me a favor, really,” Blaine says, starting to walk towards Kurt’s apartment. “Saving me from the dessert dilemma.”

Kurt almost laughs, then sniffs hard again, taking a shaky breath. “Okay.”

****  
Kurt opens the door seconds after Blaine knocks, and then steps back, arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Blaine toes off his shoes and comes into the apartment. It smells like the lemon verbena house cleaner Blaine always liked, and the vacuum is leaning up against the tiny kitchen table. 

Blaine walks slowly up to Kurt, almost afraid to startle him. “Come sit down?” He puts a tentative hand on Kurt’s arm, leads him over to the couch. 

Kurt sits next to him, tense, eyes cast down. Blaine feels so lost. He’s never been sure what to do when Kurt gets like this. He’s never sure that his touch is welcome, even when Kurt accepts it.

“What happened?”

Kurt shrugs, starts to reply, then just buries his face in his hands, a sob bubbling out of his throat.

“Oh, Kurt.” Blaine slides closer, wraps his arms around Kurt’s shoulders and pulls him close. Thankfully Kurt doesn’t stiffen up – instead, he sags into Blaine, curling up in his lap and pressing his face into Blaine’s neck as he cries. “Sweetheart, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Blaine whispers, rubbing his hand over Kurt’s back and shoulders.

“It’s not as if it’s anything I didn’t know…” Kurt chokes out. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m like this.”

“You don’t need a new reason to be sad,” Blaine says softly. “You can cry about your dad, it’s okay.” He shifts, pulling Kurt more comfortably against him. He’ll hold Kurt like this forever, if it helps.

After a while Kurt calms, sitting up and stretching to pull a few tissues out of the box on the side table. He blows his nose, dries his face, and turns towards Blaine, still sniffling. “I suppose you want to know what that was about.”

“Only if you want to tell me.”

Kurt sighs. “I was talking to Carole, and she told me how the people from her church had been really good to her these past few weeks. They even sent over some kids from the youth group to ask her what she needed help with. She couldn’t think of anything in particular, so they did some yard work, cut the grass and trimmed the bushes, raked up some leaves, that kind of thing. Then they pulled the cars out of the garage and washed them, even checked their oil.” Kurt stops, grabbing for another tissue as his breath hitches.

“That sounds helpful.”

Kurt looks at Blaine, his face crumbling. “It is, right? Carole was very grateful. But… all I could think about was they don’t need to check the oil, my dad runs a garage, he takes perfectly good care of his cars all by himself. Except that he won’t, anymore. He’s never going to check the oil again.” He sucks in a deep breath, shaky on the exhale, and then does it again. “It’s just hard to accept.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

Blaine shrugs. “But I am.”

Kurt takes in a deep breath, lets it out, and looks around the room. Blaine follows his gaze. It’s a small living area which flows into the even smaller kitchen. There’s a big window over the sink, and Blaine thinks that it must be a nice place to sit and have coffee in the morning, with the sun shining in.

“I meant to have it all cleaned up for you,” Kurt says.

“It looks pretty clean to me.”

“And I haven’t even started on dinner.”

“That’s okay, I’m not hungry yet.”

“I wanted tonight to be perfect.”

Blaine slides closer to Kurt, puts his head on his shoulder and wraps an arm around his waist. “We’re cuddling on the couch. We could put a movie on. Then we’d be most of the way there, right?”

Kurt turns, shifting until Blaine sits up enough to see his face. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Blaine doesn’t really agree, but it’s not worth arguing about. Not when Kurt is finally smiling again. 

They turn on the television and look at movie listings for a few minutes, but Blaine can tell that Kurt isn’t ready to relax. “What were you planning on making for dinner? Can I help?”

Kurt sighs. “I’m terrible at this, aren’t I?”

“At what?”

Kurt waves his hands around. “Going with the flow. Being flexible.”

Blaine grins. “You have many talents. But you never did like it when your plans got messed up.” He stands up, offers Kurt his hand. “Come on, it can’t be that hard to get everything back on track. If you want, I’ll finish vacuuming while you start dinner.”

Kurt stands up and blocks Blaine’s path to the kitchen. “No way, you’re the guest – you’re not cleaning my house.”

“You know how much I like vacuuming,” Blaine says, making a faux-sultry face and blinking his eyes.

Kurt cackles and smacks a kiss on to his lips. “You are ridiculous.” Blaine winds his hands around Kurt’s waist, and Kurt puts a hand to his cheek. “And I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Kurt finally relents and lets Blaine vacuum the living room (“but that’s it”), and then Blaine chops the salad vegetables while Kurt puts the roast chicken in the oven and prepares a potato gratin. It’s just past seven when they sit down to eat, not late at all. Blaine raises his glass of water and clinks it against Kurt’s. “To a wonderful meal.”

Afterwards they clean up, then stand in the kitchen, looking awkwardly at each other. Blaine thinks that this is the moment when they might sink into each other’s embrace, indulge in a heavy make-out session on the couch, then continue with sexytimes in the bedroom. If this were back then, when things weren’t so difficult. Not to mention that Kurt still looks painfully sad. He’s trying to cover it up, and it seems like he succeeds sometimes, but Blaine can tell when he remembers his conversation with Carole from earlier in the day, remembers over and over that his dad is gone, and has to tug himself back.

“Didn’t Tina Fey have an HBO special last month? Maybe we could watch that,” Blaine suggests, trying to move the evening along. Kurt agrees, and they settle on the couch. They’re barely touching, Blaine sitting cross-legged as he scrolls through their options, Kurt stiff next to him. The show drags on, the skits not as funny as they might be, and Blaine worries that Kurt isn’t really distracted from his thoughts, let alone entertained. He tries to catch his eye, but Kurt is staring fixedly at the television.

When the show ends Kurt fidgets with his hands for a moment, then looks over at Blaine, eyes wide. “Shit, you don’t have your bag, do you? I made you come over here without your overnight bag.”

This had occurred to Blaine earlier, but he didn’t think it was much of a problem. He had certainly worn Kurt’s pajamas often enough. “That’s okay, as long as you have a spare toothbrush, I’ll be fine.”

But Kurt stands up, brushes his hands on his pants. “We can go back to your house and get your bag. It’s not far, and it’s a nice night for a walk.”

They both swing their heads towards the window, where the rain is pounding against the glass. Not so nice a night for a walk.

“Really, Kurt, just give me a t-shirt to sleep in and I’ll be fine.” Blaine isn’t sure why Kurt is so insistent. It really isn’t a big deal. “I’ll stop home in the morning to change anyway, and get my things for rehearsal.”

Kurt sits back down on the couch, clearly agitated. He looks at Blaine, bites his lip, and sets his shoulders. “No, we should go. I don’t mind.” He’s gazing at Blaine so determinedly, and Blaine doesn’t get it.

“Kurt? I really don’t need to get my bag. Why is this so important to you?”

“Because it’s important to you,” Kurt says. He’s trying to convey something with his eyes, but Blaine is still lost.

“It’s really not.”

Kurt scrubs a hand over his face and stands up again. “Why are we arguing about this? You need to take your meds, you take them every night, I’ve seen you doing it. I don’t care, really I don’t. Let’s just go back to your place and get your stuff.” He’s practically shouting at this point, and Blaine is tempted to shout back, but he knows it won’t help.

Blaine gets off the couch and approaches Kurt, who is now over by the doorway, trying to stick a foot into his boot while not really looking at it. He’s not having much success. “Kurt?” Blaine puts a hand on his arm, catches his eye. “Believe me, if there were meds I needed to take every night, I’d welcome your company on the walk back to my place. But I don’t need to take anything.”

Kurt glares at him. “Don’t lie to me.”

“That’s uncalled for,” Blaine says flatly, stepping back from Kurt. Blaine’s trying to take this good naturedly, but really, Kurt shouldn’t have gone there.

Kurt’s face falls. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Kurt comes towards him, palms up. “I didn’t mean that, I really didn’t. But, then… what do you take at the theater all the time? It’s like clockwork, every intermission. I’ve seen you, you don’t try to hide it or anything.”

Blaine realizes what Kurt must be thinking of, and he can’t help but crack a smile, despite how frustrating this whole conversation has been. “I’m taking Vitamin C.”

Kurt stares at him blankly, and then lets out a laugh. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“Why don’t you take it in the morning like every other person on the planet?” There’s still a little edge to Kurt’s tone, as if he can’t recover quickly enough. 

Blaine shrugs. “I don’t know. I started doing it during one of my shows at Berklee. I was so paranoid about getting sick during a run, I kept a bottle of Vitamin C in my rehearsal bag. It just got to be a habit.”

Kurt sighs out a long breath, an embarrassed look on his face. He comes over to Blaine, wraps his arms around him, and pulls him close. Kurt’s hair tickles Blaine’s nose as he presses against him. “I’m really sorry. I’m clearly a little overtired or something. I don’t even know what to say.”

It’s more than just being tired, Blaine thinks, but he’s not going to argue about it. Kurt is exhausted, and grieving, and was only trying to look out for him. “Don’t worry about it. Just say you’ll lend me a t-shirt.”

“Any one you want.”

By the time Blaine has finished in the bathroom, changing into a pair of soft blue flannel pants and a long sleeve gray t-shirt Kurt gave him to borrow, Kurt is in bed. Blaine is seized with a moment of anxiety, wondering what Kurt will expect, but as he comes closer to where Kurt is bundled under the covers he hears a sound that breaks his heart. Kurt is lying on his side, facing away from him, crying softly into his pillow.

Blaine slides under the blanket and wraps his arms around Kurt, pulling him close to his chest. Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and tucks it up under his chin, grasping it tightly. As Blaine holds him, he can feel him crying, tremors running through his body. Blaine presses a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. “It’s okay, honey. It’s okay.” Blaine pushes aside his own worries and swirling thoughts, and just holds his boyfriend, his love. “It’s okay.”


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt actually sleeps later than he usually does. He doesn't know whether to chalk this up to his exhaustingly miserable day yesterday, or the fact that Blaine is in bed with him. He suspects the latter. Regardless, he doesn't wake up until almost seven o'clock – practically a record. He turns carefully, stares at Blaine next to him. Blaine's face is smushed up against the pillow, his eyelashes long and dark over his lightly stubbled cheeks. His mouth is just slightly open. He's beautiful. Kurt can’t believe he’s lived for so long without this man, it seems so perfectly right to wake up next to him.

Kurt gets out of bed as quietly as he can and goes into the living room. It isn't fair to wake Blaine this early, especially not after the spectacular fail of a date they had the night before. Kurt can't remember when he last cried for so long. To say he is embarrassed would be an understatement. He’s monumentally disappointed in himself, and frankly rather nervous about how Blaine will react in the light of day.

Kurt is the one who pushed Blaine out of his comfort zone, who made him come over to his apartment and stay the night. Kurt had wanted to give Blaine a romantic evening, to show him how good things can be between them. He had planned on flowers and cupcakes and lighthearted banter, sweet kisses goodnight and a wonderful memory for their first sleepover. But instead Kurt practically had a breakdown over the thought of his father never changing the oil in his car again.

Of course Kurt knows he wasn't just upset over car maintenance. What with the show taking up so much of his time since his father's death, he hasn't really spent a lot of time grieving. But he doesn't understand why, when his body finally decided it was time to sob uncontrollably about it, it had to happen when Blaine was here.

And now Blaine is going to realize that this is a terrible time to try to rekindle their relationship. He imagines Blaine coming out of the bedroom, showered and dressed, and giving him a quick, impersonal kiss on the cheek before he leaves. He'll beg off coffees and lunches for the next few days, polite as always, before Kurt caves and asks if he wants to call it off, to spare Blaine having to do it himself. It will be awkward at first, but Blaine has every right to reconsider. Maybe it’s what Kurt deserves.

Kurt is sitting on the couch, idly looking at pointless top ten videos on his phone while his brain spins in unproductive circles, when Blaine comes into the room. Blaine is still in his pajamas (Kurt's pajamas, Kurt thinks, his stomach clenching further as he recalls his faux pas from the night before about Blaine needing to go home to get medication), and has the comforter from the bed wrapped around his shoulders. It trails behind him on the floor like a king's mantle. 

Without a word, Blaine gets on the couch, crawls over to Kurt, and snuggles up against him, spreading the blanket out over them both. Kurt holds still as Blaine settles himself, leans back more to let Blaine rest his head on his shoulder. He waits for the inevitable question, prepares himself to try to give an explanation, but Blaine doesn't ask.

Slowly Kurt raises his hand, rests it at the back of Blaine's neck, slides his fingers into his curls. Blaine hums softly in approval, and rubs a thumb over Kurt's collarbone. They sit in silence, Blaine's body a warm, welcome weight against his. Kurt is overcome by a swell of emotion, and he squeezes his eyes shut against the tears that threaten to fall. No more tears, he tells himself. Not today. Not when this wonderful man has chosen him, again. 

*****

That afternoon at the theater Kurt saves a seat for Blaine when the cast gathers for notes. Blaine slides into it with seconds to spare, giving Kurt a quick grin. 

"Everything okay?" 

Blaine nods. "Yup. All good." Mona had shown up without Blaine a little while ago, and when Kurt had asked her where he was, she had just shrugged. But here he is, safe and sound, looking adorable in a light pink button up which has come a bit untucked from his dark jeans. He's breathing a little heavily, and Kurt wonders if he ran here from the subway to get to rehearsal on time. 

Kurt realizes he is paying a little too much attention to the way Blaine's chest is moving under his shirt and forces himself to listen to the music director, who is giving them notes on last night's performance. Something about the Witch's pace in _The Last Midnight._ Nothing to do with him, thankfully, or he'd have to ask Blaine what he missed. It wouldn't do to make the same mistake two nights in a row.

Nor does he want to make last night's mistake with Blaine again. Although he's not sure now that yesterday really counts as a mistake. Blaine hadn't been upset with him this morning. He hadn't run away. When they couldn’t procrastinate any longer, and it was finally time for Blaine to leave and get ready for rehearsal, Kurt had pulled Blaine into a hug and whispered "thank you" into his neck. Blaine had hugged him tightly, then pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I love you, Kurt," Blaine had replied, as if that was the answer and explanation for everything.

The director speaks next with some notes for the royal family, and Blaine sits up straighter, giving Deb his full attention. His hair is only just tamed today, a tiny bit of product keeping the curls from fluffing into frizz. Soon it will be turned into sleek waves for the Prince, but for now, it looks eminently touchable. 

Deb addresses Kurt next, and he has to snap himself out of his daze and listen as she goes over a change she would like to see in the first scene. They continue to have problems with their fake cow - it almost toppled over last night, and Kurt needs to remember not to turn it too sharply, at least until they get better wheels put on it.

There are some more comments about technical issues, and then, finally, they are done. Kurt is hoping to pull Blaine aside for a few minutes before they have to get into costume, but Serena waylays him to go over Deb's notes – as Jack’s mother, she’s required to be annoyed with the cow, even if it wasn’t misbehaving - and by the time they are through, Blaine is deep in conversation with Peggy, nodding enthusiastically and gesturing with his hands.

"What was that all about?" Kurt asks, catching up to Blaine as he heads down the hallway towards his dressing room.

Blaine turns, not having realized Kurt was behind him. "Hi!" Blaine says with a smile, leaning in for a quick kiss, his face bright. 

"You and Peggy looked like you were discussing something important," Kurt prods.

"What? Oh, no, it was nothing."

They pause in front of Blaine's dressing room door, Ricky pushing past them to get into the room. Blaine is still grinning, though. He's definitely got a secret.

"Hey, Kurt," Mark says, looking from him to Blaine and back again. "What's going on?"

"Blaine has a secret," Kurt says, and Blaine blushes.

"It's not a secret," he protests.

"Spill, Blaine - tell us what's got you all worked up." Ricky calls out from within the room. "Share with the class."

"Like I'd tell you," Blaine says to Ricky. 

Kurt isn’t sure what’s going on with Ricky, but he has his suspicions. 

Blaine steps away from the dressing room, pulling Kurt with him. "It's really not a big deal. I'll tell you later, okay?"

"Coffee after the show?" Kurt asks. It will be late, but then it always is. And he's eager for a few minutes to talk to Blaine, to maybe just enjoy his company without bursting into tears for a change. 

"It's a date," Blaine says, his smile stretching across his face.

The show that night seems to fly by. Kurt is sure his performance of "Giants in the Sky" is as good as it has ever been, if not better, and from what he hears of Blaine's songs, he's having a great night too. 

They speed through their after-show routines, sign a few autographs at the stage door, and are on their way downtown. They have no trouble finding seats on the subway this time of night, Blaine settling easily against Kurt, his head on his shoulder rocking with the train's movement. 

"No sleeping," Kurt says lightly. "We've got a date."

Blaine chuckles. "Nothing wrong with sleeping on a date."

Kurt knows he means it. He's said it before. Blaine isn't teasing him about last night - he is sincere. "I love you," Kurt says softly.

Blaine sits up. "I love you too." He takes Kurt's hand and searches his eyes. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." 

It's their stop, and they make their way up onto the street. They've discovered a café just a few blocks from Kurt's apartment that serves a wide variety of beverages and snacks late into the night, and the servers don’t give them dirty looks when they spend an hour over hot chocolate and a shared biscotti. 

Tonight Blaine orders a fruity herbal tea, and Kurt gets a lemonade. The waiter talks them into a slice of homemade pound cake with a ribbon of jam running through it, and Kurt wonders when Blaine gave up using that raspberry hair gel. The scent of raspberries never stopped reminding him of his dapper fiancé; it may actually have been years since he ordered a dessert with raspberries in it, not wanting to torment himself with regrets.

When their order arrives and they've each had a taste, Kurt reaches over and pokes Blaine's hand gently with his fork. "So are you going to tell me what had you so smiley earlier?"

Blaine tilts his head and blinks his long lashes up at Kurt. "Clearly I was thinking of you."

Warmth spreads through his chest, and Kurt’s thoughts are derailed by a mixture of affection and surprise. Although things have been going pretty well between them, Blaine has still seemed to consider Kurt with mild trepidation, like he's a barely tamed creature who might turn fierce at any time. It's good to think Blaine might be getting more comfortable with Kurt. Very good, really.

"I was talking with Peggy about opening night."

"Oh?" It's not far away now. "I think the show’s in good shape, don't you?”

“Mmm, yeah. I was actually talking to her about tickets.”

Kurt isn’t sure what is so interesting about tickets. The cast had been able to purchase opening night tickets at a discount ages ago. There’s not much left to discuss.

“I was wondering,” Blaine goes on, “is Carole coming to opening night?”

“Of course.”

“By herself?” Blaine asks, his face soft.

Kurt’s insides tense, and he regrets drinking down his lemonade so quickly. “Well, yes.” He had actually bought two tickets, and had urged Carole to bring someone else in his father’s place - _not in his place, of course, no one could take his place-_ but she had declined.

“My mom’s going to be by herself, too. Cooper was supposed to come, but…” Blaine rolls his eyes and shrugs. “You know Cooper.”

Kurt nods. 

“Anyway, I thought it might be nice if they sat together.” Blaine’s eyes are wide, and he’s trying to convey something more than what his words are actually saying. Kurt’s not sure what it is, but he’s suddenly on the defensive.

“Your mom doesn’t need to babysit Carole. She’s doing fine.”

Blaine looks hurt. “What? Oh… well. Okay.” He looks away, then down at his lap.

Kurt realizes that the surprise Blaine has spent the day planning has just been ruined. And Blaine isn’t arguing with him, or pointing out why it’s such a good idea, or insisting that Kurt reconsider. He is just sitting there, hands in his lap, deflated.

“I could ask Carole, though. See if she’d like the company.” 

Blaine meets his gaze. “You don’t have to do that. It was a dumb idea. My mom was way too excited about it, anyway. She probably would have made Carole feel uncomfortable.”

“You talked to your mom about it already?”

Blaine picks up his tea, puts it back down, wipes his hands on his jeans. “That’s why I was almost late for rehearsal. She started to plan out the whole weekend.” He huffs out what is not quite a laugh. “She thought it would be great fun to have Carole stay in the hotel room with her, they could do a whole girls’ night thing. Or day, I guess, since at night they’d be at the show. She even started looking for recommendations for good seafood places near the theater.”

“Carole loves seafood.”

“I know,” Blaine says, giving Kurt an impatient look. “That’s why she was looking for seafood places.”

“Are you sure your mom wouldn’t rather have you all to herself?”

Blaine frowns. “I don’t know, I sort of assumed we’d hang out all together when she was here.” He pauses, stares at Kurt for a moment. “Does Carole not know about us?” He’s nervous now, in an entirely distressing way.

“No, no, of course I told her about us. We talk almost every day. How could I not have told her?” 

“Then what is it?” Blaine asks.

Kurt just shakes his head. He doesn’t know how to say this. 

But Blaine beats him to it. “Are you worried about seeing my mom?”

Ding ding ding. “You’re not as oblivious as you used to be.”

Somehow this rings a sour note for Blaine, harsher than Kurt intended. “Whatever.” 

“Blaine, it’s opening night. It’s… important. Why is it so surprising that I wouldn’t want to be preoccupied with what could be at best awkward, and at worst a truly awful experience?”

“Seeing my mom would be awful?”

“She can’t be very happy about this,” Kurt waves between the two of them. 

Blaine opens his mouth to reply, then closes it again. He’s got his lips pressed together, as if he is struggling to prevent himself from saying what he really wants to say. “I just told you how excited she was,” he finally mumbles.

“Blaine… this doesn’t have anything to do with you. Don’t be upset.” It’s not enough, Kurt can tell, but he’s caught flat-footed and doesn’t know how to fix it.

“It’s alright.” 

It’s clearly not. “Let me think about it, okay, and talk to Carole. I don’t know if she has plans already…”

It’s weak, and they both know it. Blaine stands up and reaches for his bag. “It’s getting late. We should go.”

Kurt half expects Blaine to storm out of the café ahead of him, but he doesn’t. Instead he waits as Kurt pulls on his jacket and hikes his own bag over his shoulder, then holds out his hand for Kurt to take. He’s only barely holding himself together, though, it’s clear from the way he won’t meet Kurt’s eye, and how his steps won’t fall into rhythm with Kurt’s on the short walk to his apartment.

They end up at the door to Blaine’s building, and stand still, Blaine looking sadly at the ground.

“Hey,” Kurt says softly, waiting for Blaine to look at him. “I’m sorry I ruined your surprise. You were trying to do something nice for Carole, and I… it was wrong of me to make you feel bad about it. But I’m still not used to the fact that she’s not part of a couple any more, you know? That she might be lonely on the trip here, or in a hotel room by herself, or sitting in the audience without someone to make snarky comments with. When I think about her being all by herself,” Kurt pauses, sucks in a breath, and wills himself not to cry, “it makes me sad in a whole different way than just missing my dad. So I think I was kind of avoiding thinking about it.”

“I didn’t mean to make you sad,” Blaine breathes out. 

Kurt reaches out to touch his arm. “I know, I know, you were trying to do exactly the opposite. And you did.”

Blaine sniffles. “I clearly didn’t.”

Kurt musters a little smile. “You did. It makes me happy that you wanted to do something nice for us. It was really thoughtful. It’s just kind of tangled up with, you know, the reason it’s even necessary.”

Blaine just shakes his head, steps back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” He looks up at Kurt. “I don’t even know anymore. What should I have done?”

Kurt takes his hand and looks him in the eye. “If I knew, I’d tell you. I don’t think there’s really any good way to talk about what to do with the empty seat. But you didn’t do anything wrong.” Kurt pulls Blaine against him, and he comes easily, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll talk to Carole tomorrow.”

Blaine nods against his shoulder. “Okay.”

Kurt pulls back to look at Blaine, and sees the tears welling up in his dark eyes. “Blaine? Blaine? Please don’t…”

But Blaine just shakes his head and steps back. “I’m okay, I’m just tired.” He starts to walk up the steps to the front door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that he’s gone. No kiss, no good night, no parting “I love you.” Kurt feels terrible. But he understands. Sometimes Kurt doesn’t have the energy to face the world, and he needs to retreat and recharge. It’s not unusual for him to need alone time, to realize that any more human interaction right now is going to end in disaster. Blaine may well be feeling that way right now. Kurt just wishes that he wasn’t one of the people Blaine needed to retreat from.

But they aren’t the same people they were years ago, when Blaine would turn himself inside out to avoid hurting Kurt’s feelings, even if it all fell apart in the end anyway. Maybe Blaine understands his own needs better than he used to. Maybe this is a Blaine who has learned to take care of himself.

Kurt pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to Blaine before he heads home.

**I can’t thank you enough for caring about me the way you do. I love you.**

Kurt holds off checking his phone until he’s back in his own apartment, but he knows Blaine responded; he felt the phone vibrate in his pocket. He’s a little bit afraid to look. 

Kurt sits on the couch. He crosses his legs, fidgets with a throw pillow, and then opens the text. 

**I love you too.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine gets a visit from an old friend.

The next morning Blaine goes for an extra-long run. He needs the time to think. Mostly he concludes that nothing is actually wrong, he and Kurt are fine, and his own reaction to Kurt yesterday was a bit on the over-sensitive side. He clearly shouldn’t have gotten so invested in his fantasy of opening night, with a family of four – him and Kurt, Carole and Pam – celebrating all weekend long. Kurt and Carole clearly aren’t in any position to celebrate, and even if they were, there’s no guarantee they’d want to do it with Blaine and his mother.

Blaine is obviously never going to learn to avoid surprising Kurt. Generally, unless it involves a serenade and a declaration of love, it doesn’t go well. Kurt likes his plans to be set in advance, by him, and doesn’t appreciate sudden changes. 

He turns his mind to his mom, and other ways to entertain her when she gets in on Saturday. Anjali and Lucy, who his mom knows from their time together at Berklee, had offered to spend the day with her. Their most recent suggestion was an exhibit at the Met on costumes in theater, which seems like a perfect segue into the evening. His friends already have their tickets for opening night, but maybe he can switch off so that all three of them can sit together. Or his mom can just sit by herself. She’ll survive. It won’t be the first time Cooper has ditched her at one of his performances.

Blaine is feeling good by the time he gets to the last few blocks of his run. He makes a mental note to do longer runs more often; he’s been short-changing himself lately. His thighs are burning and he’s sweating like a pig, but it feels great.

He comes to a stop in front of his building and leans over against the railing, catching his breath before he goes inside, when suddenly there’s a person nearly knocking him over.

“Blaine! Dude! Hi!”

Blaine extracts himself from the unexpected bear hug, blinking up at none other than Sam Evans. “Sam?” He looks around, still dazed from exertion. “What are you doing here?”

“Surprise!” Sam cheers happily. He throws an arm around Blaine’s shoulders and gives him a squeeze. “It’s great to see you!” Sam pulls back, his nose wrinkling. “But man, you stink.” 

“Oh my god, Sam,” Blaine says, embarrassed. “I’m a mess.” He’s wearing black running leggings and a neon green long sleeved shirt that is thoroughly soaked through with sweat, and his hair has got to be at its height of crazy.

“No, it’s cool, I don’t care.” Sam is looking Blaine up and down with a huge grin on his face. “It’s a good look for you.”

Blaine feels a wash of affection for Sam, and extends his arm towards the door. “I still don’t know what you’re doing here, but please, come in.”

“Cool.” Sam picks up his overstuffed backpack and bounds up the stairs.

“I should warn you, it’s not very big,” Blaine says as he lets Sam into the apartment. “It’s my friend Mona’s place, I’m just sleeping on the couch.”

Sam smiles and twists a kitchen chair around before throwing a leg over it. “Your turn to couch surf, huh? Karma, I suppose.”

Blaine smiles, remembering the months that Sam spent on the couch in the Bushwick loft. “I suppose.” He runs a hand through his sweaty hair and cringes. “Look, I’ve got to get in the shower. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Will do.”

Blaine rushes through his morning routine. He’s more excited than he would have guessed to find Sam Evans sitting on his doorstep. He always regretted not keeping in touch with Sam, but he figured that in the end, people must have been right about them not having much in common once high school was over. But Sam’s excitement is infectious, and he never fails to make Blaine see the lighter side of life. It’s something he could really use right now.

Blaine comes out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, and hears a low wolf whistle.

“Holy crap, you really do look good.”

He can feel the blush spread immediately over his face. “Sam…”

“No, really.” Sam comes over to him, examines him closely enough that it would be weird, if it wasn’t Sam. “I mean, you’re in great shape. But it’s also, I don’t know… you don’t look like a kid anymore.” 

“Well, I’m not.”

Sam just nods. “I know. Me neither.”

Blaine exits out of this conversation before it gets any stranger, and goes into the bedroom with a handful of clothes to put on, staying as quiet as he can so as not to wake Mona. Blaine frowns, realizing he’s holding the same pair of jeans he wore yesterday, but at least he has a clean t-shirt and briefs in his side of Mona’s dresser. Between a few drawers in the bedroom and a section of the hall closet he has enough space for his clothes, but just barely. Not that it’s been a real problem.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out,” Sam says when Blaine returns to the kitchen. “It’s been a long time, you know?”

Blaine smiles. “I know. You look good too, by the way.”

Sam straightens his back and tosses his head, striking a pose. “Being in New York makes me feel like a model again. Only with darker hair, and twenty pounds heavier.” Sam’s wearing a black and white flannel over a maroon t-shirt, and his hair is a little shaggy, but not as long as Blaine’s seen it get.

“Are you back in the city to give modeling another try?” Blaine goes to the fridge and gets out some juice, sets it on the table with two glasses.

“Nope, no way. I’m here with my band.” Sam is clearly delighted to be able to announce this.

“Really? That’s awesome, Sam!” Blaine can’t help it, he claps Sam on the shoulder and Sam pulls him into a hug again. This time at least he’s expecting it, and returns his embrace warmly. Sam still smells as good as he used to, although his cologne has changed to something a little less drugstore chic. It really is good to see him again.

“Tell me all about it,” Blaine encourages him as they both take a seat at the table.

Sam pours himself and Blaine some juice and drinks down the whole glass, then smiles up at Blaine. “It’s really pretty great. I met these guys about six months ago, in Nashville-”

“Nashville? I thought you were in Lima?”

“Nah, I got tired of that.”

“But didn’t you like coaching football?”

Sam shrugs. “It was okay. But it sort of felt like I never left high school. It was just like being the captain of the team, except no one could make me run laps, and I got paid. I did it for two years, and then went to work for my dad for a little while, helping out in his construction business. But what I really wanted to do was play music, so I went to live with some of my cousins in Nashville. They showed me around, introduced me to some people, and then finally I met Joey and Turner, and it all just clicked.”

“Are they the guys in your band?”

“Yup. Joey’s the lead singer – he’s kind of like you. He’s smart, and people listen to him. Turner plays the bass, and Bran plays the drums.”

“Bran? Does he have a big, scary wolf dog?”

Sam laughs. “His name really is Brandon, I didn’t make it up. I was watching Game of Thrones one night, and I started calling him Bran. It just seemed to fit. He’s gets that same wounded bird look…”

“I’m sure he’s thrilled with the nickname.”

“Nah, he doesn’t mind.” Sam stands up, looks around the apartment. “So, you said you had a roommate?”

“Mona. She’s probably still asleep.” Mona has a miraculous ability to sleep late, although Blaine is starting to wonder how his conversation with Sam still hasn’t woken her up.

“She?”

“Just a friend, Sam. We went to college together.”

“Cool. No romance in your life right now, then?”

Blaine realizes Sam has no idea about Kurt. How could he? “Well, actually, there is.” 

Sam raises his eyebrows. “Yeah? What’s he like?”

“Kurt.”

“He’s like Kurt? Huh. Guess you have a type.”

“No, Sam, not _like_ Kurt. He _is_ Kurt.”

“Seriously?” Sam looks almost annoyed. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No, I’m not. Why are you so surprised?”

“I don’t know, maybe because he made your life miserable for years? You don’t have to be stuck to the same person your whole life just because you were high school sweethearts, you know.”

“That’s not why, Sam. You’re not being fair.” He has a sudden thought. “Seen Mercedes lately?”

Sam glares at him. “Now _you’re_ not being fair.”

Blaine grins. “Sorry. But honestly, I’m curious. I haven’t exactly kept in touch with the McKinley crowd.”

Sam huffs. “Well, that’s true.” He sighs, and sits back down. “She got married last winter. To some up and coming hip-hop star. I’d never even heard of him but… apparently she’s very happy.”

Blaine puts a hand on Sam’s shoulder. He knows how much Mercedes meant to him. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Yeah, well, not everyone has a soulmate.” Sam wrinkles his nose at Blaine. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more excited about you and Kurt. How exactly did that happen?”

“Well, you know I’m in a show now, right?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Of course, that’s why I’m here.” At Blaine’s blank look, he goes on. “I’ve got tickets to see you tonight – that’s cool, right?”

“Sam…” Blaine’s throat goes dry. “Yeah, that’s really nice. I had no idea you even knew.”

“’Course I knew.” Sam blushes. “Okay, well, I knew because your mom told me.”

“My mom?”

“Yeah, well, we had a gig in Columbus last month, so I drove down to Lima for the day to say hi to Mr. Schue, and we saw your mom at the Lima Bean.”

“I wonder why she didn’t tell me?” 

“Don’t know, man. But I made her give me your phone number, and your address, and I promised her I’d send her a picture, so-” Sam pulls out his phone and snaps a few selfies of the two of them, as Blaine smiles wryly into the camera.

“If you had my phone number, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“It’d ruin the surprise!”

Blaine laughs. Sam is clearly better at surprises than he is. Or maybe Blaine just likes them better than Kurt does. Regardless, it feels great having Sam here, sitting at his little kitchen table, being his goofball self. 

“So, wait,” Sam comes back around to their original topic. “Did Kurt come to see you in your show?”

Blaine shakes his head. “Nope. Turns out, he’s cast in the show too.”

“Huh. Did you, um, know that when you auditioned?”

“I didn’t really audition – I was in it in Boston, and the director offered me the chance to continue with it when it moved to New York. But no, I didn’t know it when I came down here.”

Sam looks at him intently. “Guess Kurt’s pretty good at surprises, too.” Not really, Blaine thinks.

Sam walks around the small room, looks at the knickknacks that have already accumulated on the edges of the bookshelf. There’s a small picture of Blaine and Kurt the day they went out to lunch with Julian, shortly after Burt’s funeral. They weren’t even together yet, but there’s something in Blaine’s expression that telegraphs his love for Kurt. “So, happily ever after?”

Blaine huffs. “Clearly, you haven’t seen _Into the Woods_ yet. There’s no such thing.”

“Even for you guys?”

Blaine wishes he had a better answer. “Honestly, it’s been a little rough. But we both want it to work.”

“Think that’s enough?”

Before he can fully appreciate his astonishment at Sam’s insight, Mona emerges from the bedroom. “Blaine? Something you want to tell me?” She looks like a pissed off pixie, her blond hair sticking out in all directions and her sleep shirt barely covering her bottom. She’s got her hands on her hips and is studying Sam with confusion.

“Mona, meet Sam, a good friend from back home.” Blaine stands and pulls Mona closer. “Sam, this is Mona, my very best girl.”

Sam stands up and holds out his hand. “Pleased to meet you, Mona.” The slightly southern twang in his voice is more apparent than it has been all morning. 

Mona looks him up and down. “I guess he can stay for lunch.” She turns to Blaine. “You are making lunch, right?”

Blaine grins at her. “Figures you only woke up because you were hungry.”

“Is there any other reason? We don’t have to be at work until four.” Mona leans against Blaine, her head against his shoulder. “I bet Sam would love your grilled cheese, especially if you put some avocado and tomato in it.”

Blaine puts on a mock frown. “I don’t know, not many people like grilled cheese.”

“I do, actually,” Sam says seriously.

Blaine just stares at him until Sam laughs at himself. “Sorry, dude, thought you meant it. But I totally do love grilled cheese.” Sam stands up and opens the refrigerator. “I can help. We haven’t cooked together in ages. You have any stuff for salad?”

Mona gives Blaine a kiss on the cheek and heads towards the bathroom. “I can see you two have this under control. Yell when it’s ready.”

The afternoon passes quickly. Sam finds Blaine’s guitar after they eat lunch and the three of them sing along to everything they can think of. Mona digs out her ukulele and they try to do the three-part harmony on an Ingrid Michaelson song, but Sam keeps losing his place and soon they are all just laughing hysterically, Blaine flopped flat on the couch and Mona and Sam on the floor, Sam clutching his stomach and moaning.

“Fuck, that was fun,” Sam says when they have finally recovered, sitting up and shoving at Blaine’s legs until he moves them and makes a space for Sam on the couch. “Why did we stop doing this? I really missed you, dude.” He’s smiling but he’s sad around the eyes. 

“I missed you too.” Blaine gives Sam a hug, ignoring Mona’s “aww….”

Sam sits back, raises his hand in the air. “Blam?”

“Blam.” Blaine slaps his hand obligingly.

“I’m not quite sure what you guys are up to, but it’s about time for us to leave, Blaine.” Mona is looking at Blaine quizzically.

“I’ll fill you in on the way there.” 

Sam stands up, starts to gather his things into his backpack. 

“Hey, you don’t have to leave now, if you don’t want to.” Blaine wishes he could stay and sing with Sam for a few more hours. Just because he has to go to work it doesn’t mean Sam has to get kicked out. He kind of likes the idea of Sam in his space – although that’s probably what got them into trouble back in the loft days. 

“Nah, it’s okay, I’ll go hang out for a while. Joey found a place for us to stay. A friend of his parents’ is out of town, so we’re just going to crash there.”

“But you’re coming to the show tonight, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

*****  
“So what’s that all about, that ‘Blam’ thing?”

Blaine and Mona are on the subway, hanging on to a pole. The bags slung over their shoulders bump against their bodies as they sway with the motion of the train.

“We were really good friends in high school. I was class president, Sam was vice president… we kind of ran Glee club as seniors, spent a lot of time together.”

Mona looks at him curiously. “It’s your couple name, isn’t it? Blaine and Sam…. Blam. That explains a lot.”

“We weren’t a couple, not like that.”

“You sure? The way you guys look at each other… I could swear there’s some history there.”

Blaine chuckles. “Oh, there is history, just not what you’re thinking. I had a crush on Sam for a while. Kurt and I were broken up, and I was feeling pretty down, and Sam was there for me. I had never really had a friend like him before. He’s so good hearted and sweet. He really went out of his way to make me feel like he wanted me around.”

Mona gives him an odd look, like he’s speaking a foreign language. “Of course he wanted you around.” She jolts as the train comes to a stop, and more people push on. “So, what happened? Did you guys get together? I bet those lips are pretty talented.”

“Nothing happened,” Blaine says, grinning. “Sam is straight. And even though he could tell I was crushing on him, he was cool about it. In a way, it just made us closer.”

Mona giggles.

“As friends, Mona, we became even closer as friends.”

“Fine, whatever. He’s adorable, I’d like him for a friend, too.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“So how does Kurt feel about this Sam guy?”

An excellent question. Kurt knows Sam is visiting – Blaine told him when Kurt texted earlier to see if Blaine wanted to meet for coffee before the show. And of course Kurt understood that Blaine was going to spend the afternoon with the friend he hadn’t seen in years. 

Blaine suspected that Kurt was a little annoyed about this afternoon, even though his response was mild enough. It brought Blaine right back to when they all lived together in the loft, Kurt tolerating Sam because of Blaine, but clearly not thrilled to have him around. It had gotten a little better when Blaine and Sam moved out, but Blaine had wondered if that hadn’t made it worse in some ways, too, since then he shared something else with Sam that Kurt wasn’t a part of. In the end none of it had mattered – Sam went back to Lima, and wasn’t involved in Blaine and Kurt’s eventual break-up, unless you count how lonely Blaine had felt with Sam and all their other friends gone, and only Kurt to depend on.

Which brings his thoughts back to Mona, who is now leaning against his shoulder to escape the crush of tourists who have just crowded on to the train. Mona, and all the other people who are his close friends now, are just as important to him as Sam had once been. He needs to make sure he keeps them in his life, he realizes, no matter what happens between him and Kurt. And if he can reconnect with Sam, too, that would certainly be a bonus.

“Hey – it wasn’t that hard a question, was it?” Mona asks, poking him with her chin. 

Blaine pokes her back, a finger to her side which makes her squirm. “Nothing’s ever simple when it comes to Kurt. He and Sam were friends, too, before I ever met them. But Kurt was a year ahead of us in school, so when he graduated and came to the city, Sam and I still had a year left in Ohio.”

“That’s when Blam began?”

“Exactly.”

“Hmm.” Mona considers this, looking at Blaine quizzically. “I’m thinking Kurt may be a little jealous.”

“I don’t really think so.” Blaine has never really interpreted Kurt’s annoyance about Sam as jealously. He always thought it was more that Sam was skilled at being there for Blaine in ways that Kurt wasn’t as good at, and this made Kurt doubt himself. But maybe it is a bit of jealousy too; he can’t be sure. Kurt is as human as Blaine is, after all.


	7. Chapter 7

After the show, Sam finds his way to Blaine's dressing room. Sam is hyped up and his enthusiasm is contagious as he congratulates everyone he sees. His praise makes Blaine blush.

"You were fantastic, man!" Sam crows, throwing an arm over Blaine's shoulders. "I always knew you were a prince! _I was raised to be charming, not sincere,”_ Sam imitates, doing a little princely bow for emphasis. “Best casting choice ever!"

"Another admirer?" Ricky asks with a scowl. He is none too happy with his own performance tonight, having gotten reamed out by Deb for screwing up the blocking in the shoe fitting scene yet again. 

"Sam's a friend from back home," Blaine explains, not particularly concerned with Ricky's griping. He's gotten used to it.

"Nice to meet you." Mark shakes Sam's hand and grins as Sam strikes a pose and imitates the arrogant prince's stance in Agony.

"You were awesome, too,” Sam says enthusiastically to Mark. “I love the song you guys do together." Sam turns to Blaine. "Kurt was great, too. I can't believe how long it's been since I've heard him sing."

"Yeah, it's not like it's something you could forget." Ricky obviously doesn't mean this as a compliment.

Blaine may have become used to Ricky's comments, but Sam certainly isn't.

"You got a problem with Kurt?"

"Chill out, everyone's fine," Joseph says, grabbing Ricky's arm and tugging him out of the room.

"What's up with him?" Sam asks, looking at Blaine.

"Honestly, I have no idea." Blaine shrugs. "Let's go find Kurt."

Kurt is still cleaning up when they arrive, but this doesn't stop Sam from pulling him into a hug and showering him with praise as well. "Who would have thought McKinley would have produced you two stars," Sam says, shaking his head.

Blaine grins despite himself. Kurt didn't let McKinley drag him down; he always knew he was bound for something better. 

Sam pulls his phone out of his pocket and frowns in concentration for a minute. "Cool. Joey says you guys should come to the party tonight. Can we head out, or do you have to do that autograph thing first?"

"Party?" Kurt sticks his head around the partition as he pulls on his shirt. "I really can’t go out tonight."

Sam looks to Blaine. "But you'll come, right? I just got here, and the night is still young!" Sam slaps Blaine on the back in a way that he supposes is meant to be encouraging.

"Um, sure, but I probably can't stay for long." 

"Are you serious?” Kurt says, approaching Blaine, his shirt still untucked. “How can you go out partying now? Tomorrow is opening night." Kurt is giving Blaine his "are you a toddler" look, and Blaine really doesn't appreciate it.

"I haven't seen Sam in years, Kurt," Blaine says. 

"Damn straight,” Sam says, apparently missing the not very subtle message Kurt is sending. “Come on, let's go."

*****

Half an hour into the party Blaine knows he has made a mistake. Dozens of people are crowded into two small rooms, the music is blaring, and most everyone is under the influence of what Blaine is willing to guess are illegal substances. He's certainly not going to be spending any quality time with Sam here.

He tugs on Sam's arm and tries to make himself heard over the ear-deafening noise. "I'm going home."

Sam raises an eyebrow at him but then just swoops him into a drunk hug. At least he's pretty sure Sam hasn't had anything other than alcohol; he’s acting pretty much like drunk Sam always used to act, even more apt to good naturedly shove Blaine around in the name of bro bonding. He slurs something into Blaine's ear that is probably "no, man, don't go," but Blaine has made up his mind.

"I'll call you tomorrow." Sam is going to be performing in and around the city for the next week or so, and Blaine wants to make sure to see him again, preferably somewhere more conducive to conversation.

Blaine sighs with relief as he exits the building, leaning against the wall as he consults the app on his phone which handily informs him of the closest subway stations. Luckily it won’t take too long to get home.

As he starts walking, he types out a text to Kurt. Smart, rational Kurt, who is probably already asleep, conserving his energy for tomorrow.

"I was an idiot," Blaine types. "You were right."

Moments after he presses send, his phone rings.

"Blaine? Where are you?"

"West village, on my way home."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"What happened to the party?"

Blaine sighs. "Too loud, too druggy. I should have known better."

There's a pause, and Blaine waits for the "I told you so." But it doesn't come. 

"No, I get it. You wanted to spend time with Sam." Kurt's voice is soft.

"Yeah." Blaine has reached the subway stop, and pauses at the top of the stairs. "I'm at the train, got to get off the phone. See you tomorrow?"

"Wait - Blaine?"

"What?"

"Can you come to my place?"

"Now?" It's almost midnight.

"I know it's late, but... all day today, I just wanted… I just want to hold you. Make sure we're okay."

Blaine is touched. "We're okay, Kurt. Don’t worry."

"Please come over? You can wear those blue flannel pants again." 

Blaine smiles. "Bribing me with comfy pajamas?"

"If it will work. I'll even throw in a back rub."

Now that's an offer he can't refuse. "Okay, you've got a deal."

Through some miraculous karma a train pulls in just as Blaine gets to the track, and before long he is knocking on Kurt’s apartment door.

Kurt opens the door and steps back, aiming a shy smile at Blaine and then looking down at his feet. His striped sleep pants are low on his hips and his chest is bare, and from the looks of his hair, he’s either been tossing and turning for a while or engaging in some new finger styling experiment.

“Kurt.” Blaine steps into the room, closes the door behind him and sets his bag on the ground. “You all right?”

Kurt shrugs a little, his arms gripped around his own chest. Blaine steps forward and wraps him into a gentle hug. Kurt slowly relaxes, leaning heavily against Blaine, but with his arms still tight around himself. Blaine touches his cheek, slides his fingers into his hair. Kurt isn’t speaking, but his body language says it all. Something is wrong.

“Want to get into bed?”

Kurt nods. Blaine takes his hand and leads him into the bedroom. He strips off his clothes quickly, leaving them in a pile on the desk chair, and climbs into bed in only his boxers and undershirt. Kurt is still standing in the doorway, looking more lost than someone in their own room has any right to be.

“Hey, come here,” Blaine says softly. Kurt complies, sliding under the covers and close against Blaine, his face buried in his neck. Blaine pulls the covers over them both, and rests his hand on the back of Kurt’s head. He tells Kurt about his day with Sam, keeping his voice quiet. He recounts meaningless details about Sam’s bandmates and their previous stops on the tour, how Mona was suspicious of him at first and then warmed up to him over grilled cheese, how Sam still does impressions. He tells Kurt how he has bragged to Sam about Kurt’s successes, how gracefully he embodies the role of Jack, how Blaine swoons every time Kurt sings “Giants in the Sky.”

It’s the compliments that finally jar Kurt out of his daze. “I’m not that great,” Kurt says against Blaine’s skin. “Sondheim wrote it, what do you expect?”

“You are that great,” Blaine says. “And on opening night tomorrow, you’re going to blow everyone away. The reviews are going to be epic.”

Kurt shakes his head, and grabs Blaine tighter around the waist, as if he is trying to burrow inside his body. It’s so uncharacteristic of Kurt to be scared of a performance. It’s making Blaine nervous.

“Kurt? Baby?” The endearment falls stiffly off his lips; it’s been too long since he’s said it. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.” He thinks back to what Kurt said earlier. “We’re okay, really. I’m not mad about yesterday.” He had been stung, honestly, by Kurt’s reaction to what was a perfectly good idea for his mom and Carole, but he knew how hard it was for Kurt to think about anything having to do with his father’s death, as unavoidable as it is. He certainly isn’t going to hold Kurt’s grief against him.

“You’re really not mad?”

“No, I’m definitely not.”

Kurt sighs. “Sam showing up today was just a coincidence, I know, but I couldn’t help thinking, when you didn’t want to meet for coffee…” His voice is tight, like he’s trying not to cry.

“Kurt, really?”

“It’s totally irrational. I just wanted to see you today.” Kurt’s voice is cracking with the effort of this conversation.

“Well, I’m here now,” Blaine says softly, punctuating his declaration with a kiss to the side of Kurt’s head. “But I think it’s good for us to have other friends, too. I did suggest that you come and join us.”

“I couldn’t… I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Okay.” There’s clearly more to this. Blaine waits, letting his fingers play with the back of Kurt’s hair.

Kurt squirms away from Blaine just enough to scrub at his eyes, and then lifts himself on an elbow and blinks at Blaine. “Want to know why?”

“Of course.”

“Carole’s not coming.”

“What? She’s not coming to opening night?”

Kurt nods, his lips pressed tightly together. “I talked to her this morning. I… I didn’t even get to ask her about hanging out with you and your mom. She called early, said she was really sorry, but she just couldn’t do it. She…” Kurt sniffs and runs a hand through his hair. “She said she would try to come some other time, that she knew I’d be great but she couldn’t manage it.” Kurt swallows hard. “She asked me to please just forgive her, and tell her I still loved her, so of course I said it was fine…” A sob escapes his throat and Kurt crumples back down against Blaine.

“Oh, Kurt, I’m so sorry.” Blaine hugs him tight, rocks him against his own chest. “I’m so sorry.” He holds Kurt until he quiets, then stretches over him to where he left his phone on the night table. Blaine cradles the phone in his hand, then presses a quick kiss to Kurt’s cheek. “Do you trust me?”

Kurt looks puzzled. “Who’re you going to call?” He realizes his mistake instantly. “Do not say--”

“Ghostbusters!” Blaine crows softly, ducking down to blow a raspberry on Kurt’s chest.

“I cannot believe you,” Kurt mutters, pretending to push Blaine off of him but really just getting his hand around his cheek to guide him back up for a kiss. “Honestly, one afternoon with Sam Evans and you’re a kid again.”

“Don’t yuck my yum. Ghostbusters is awesome.”

Kurt almost cracks a smile. “It is. But really,” he pokes Blaine’s phone where it has dropped on the covers, “what’s up?”

“Let me ask my mom to call Carole in the morning. See if she can change her mind.”

Kurt’s face drops. “No. Carole doesn’t want to come.”

“Do you think she really doesn’t want to see you perform on Broadway, or is she just too wiped out to handle the logistics?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah, it actually does.” Blaine nudges Kurt with a knee under the blankets. “Come on, just let us try. We Andersons can be very persuasive.”

“Fine.”

Blaine grins. He sits up a little and presses his mom’s number. He suspects she’ll be up even though it’s late, and either he’s right or Pam does an excellent job of faking it. Pam cheers at the suggestion and starts to explain exactly how she’s going to convince Carole to come along, but Blaine cuts her off. “Whatever you think is best, mom,” he says. 

Kurt can hear everything Pam is saying, and is smiling despite himself. “Tell her I said thanks,” he says, and then leans forward and speaks into the phone. “Pam, I don’t know if it will work, but thanks for doing this.”

“Kurt!” Pam exclaims, and demands to be put on the phone with Kurt. It’s ten more minutes on top of a very long day before they have finally said goodnight, but the look on Kurt’s face after Blaine sets the phone down on the table and turns back to him is well worth it.

“It was good to talk to her again,” Kurt says, tracing a line up and down Blaine’s arm with his finger. Pam was clearly happy to talk to Kurt, dispelling any qualms he may have had about his first encounter with her since the break-up. 

“She always loved you,” Blaine says, draping his hand over Kurt’s hip. He loves the bones there, the way they feel when he rubs his thumb over them. “She’s glad we’re back together.”

“Really?”

Blaine nods. “She’s glad. A little worried, too, but… you know, so am I.”

Kurt’s hand stops moving on Blaine’s arm, and his face stills. “How can you say that so easily?”

“What, that I’m worried?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. It’s true.”

“You don’t think that admitting it…?”

“What, that talking about it makes it more likely for something to go wrong? Like sex education makes kids more likely to have sex?”

Kurt giggles. “Maybe not exactly like that.”

“Didn’t matter to us, did it?” Blaine pushes Kurt on to his back, cuddles up against his side. “My mom was giving us condoms for months before we had any use for them.”

“She was more invested in your sex life than you were.”

“Maybe not _more_ invested…” Blaine tucks a finger into Kurt’s waistband. Blaine’s eyes are sliding closed, and he’s almost ready to go to sleep, but he feels like he may have joked his way around something important.

“Kurt?”

“Hmm?” Kurt is apparently on his way to sleep as well.

“Aren’t you worried too, just a little? That we won’t be able to make it work this time, either?”

Kurt doesn’t respond, and Blaine wonders whether he actually has fallen asleep. He’s just about to forget about getting an answer and let himself drift off when he hears the reply. 

“Of course I am. I’m petrified. But Blaine,” Kurt draws a hand over Blaine’s cheek, waits until Blaine blinks his eyes open and meets his gaze, “I’m not giving up this time. No matter what.”

Blaine smiles and rubs his nose against Kurt’s. “Okay. Deal.” And then he’s asleep, dreaming sweet dreams of his beautiful boyfriend.

*****  
Blaine wakes to the sound of his phone vibrating on the night stand. He grabs it, reads the message, and smiles. 

_Carole’s coming. We’re about to leave for the airport. She’ll stay at the hotel with me. I’ll text you when we get there. Love you!_

He types a quick note back to his mom, and puts the phone back on the table. 

“Kurt?” he whispers. Kurt’s curled up facing him, his face smushed into the pillow. Blaine pushes his bangs back off his face. “Hey, Kurt?”

“Mmm?” Kurt squints one eye open.

“Carole’s coming tonight. My mom will let us know when they get to the hotel, and we can stop by and see them before call time.”

Kurt just stares at Blaine for a moment. “Your mom convinced her to come?”

Blaine nods. “Apparently they’re flying in together, too, or at least my mom is driving her to the airport.”

Kurt throws his arms around Blaine, engulfing him in a tight hug. The blankets are trapped between their legs but Kurt’s chest is warm against Blaine’s. Kurt’s breath fans out over Blaine’s skin as he murmurs his thanks over and over.

“You’re welcome,” Blaine says, shuffling them so that he isn’t quite so squished under Kurt’s weight. 

Kurt complies, sliding back to look at Blaine with wet eyes. “I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I just wanted my mom to have a fun playdate.”

Kurt ignores this, settling back on Blaine’s chest. “I haven’t looked at the clock, but I’m betting it’s ridiculously early right now, isn’t it?” 

“It is. We really don’t need to get out of bed yet.” 

“Good. You make an excellent pillow.”

“Just a pillow?”

Kurt snuggles in closer, wrapping a foot over Blaine’s ankle. “Like one of those long, full body pillows.”

“Not like Bruce?”

Kurt harrumphs against Blaine’s chest. “Nothing like Bruce.” He lifts his head, presses a quick kiss to Blaine’s lips. “Stop teasing me and go to sleep.”

“Yes, sir.”

It’s easy enough for them both to fall back asleep, especially after the emotional roller coaster they’ve been on, but a few hours later Blaine wakes up again. He’s actually pretty surprised that Kurt didn’t wake first; yesterday must have really taken a lot out of him. Or else he’s trained himself to get the rest he needs before an important performance – he’s a master of self-control.

The curtains in Kurt’s bedroom aren’t completely closed, and the light that shines through is dancing over the bed, turning Kurt’s hair a golden brown. Kurt has moved off Blaine’s chest – they don’t usually stay curled up together after they drift off, especially if Blaine was on his back to start with.

Kurt is still sound asleep, on his stomach with his head facing Blaine. One hand is holding part of the sheet against his chest. His shoulders and upper back are bare, and he looks so lovely, Blaine aches to touch him. He reaches out, strokes a line from his shoulder down to the small of his back, his skin warm there under the blanket. But it feels a little too intimate, so he stops. 

Blaine wonders what the etiquette is here. They really do need to wake up soon, and it doesn’t seem quite right to lie here ogling his sleeping boyfriend. Blaine runs a finger down the side of Kurt’s face, and a sigh escapes his lips as Kurt turns to press his face into his hand.

Blaine feels his cock twitch, and blinks to himself in surprise. They’ve been taking things slow, as Blaine had requested. But lying here, safe and warm and relaxed, it suddenly seems like taking Kurt in his arms and undressing him completely would be the natural thing to do. He imagines wrapping his hand around Kurt, stroking him slowly as he wakes, taking him in his mouth as his eyes open and his breathing speeds up. He shifts, considers his options, but doesn’t reach out for Kurt. It’s not the kind of line to cross without further discussion, he thinks. But if Kurt would just wake up….

As if he read Blaine’s mind, Kurt smiles, and then opens his eyes. “Hey,” he says sleepily, but then his eyes widen and he sits up, the sheet pooling at his hips.

“What time is it?” Kurt twists to see the clock. “Blaine, it’s almost eleven! Carole’s going to be here soon – I have to get ready!” He practically leaps out of bed, leaving Blaine lying there by himself, stunned into silence.

Kurt turns, looks at Blaine, and then his mouth drops open. Whether it’s the way Blaine is sprawled on the sheets, or some secret pheromone only Kurt can sense, he realizes that Blaine’s mind is not on cleaning the apartment.

“Oh, um…” Kurt gapes at Blaine, swallows hard, tries to regain his composure. “Blaine… did you want to…?”

Blaine grins, and shakes himself out of the daze of arousal that had come over him. Now is not the time for this, not when Kurt clearly needs to focus on the day’s events, and Blaine should too. He slides off the bed, avoiding glancing down to see just how obvious a demonstration of his body’s interest is going on, and puts his hands on Kurt’s shoulders.

“I do. I really do. But maybe… rain check?”

Kurt is still somewhat at a loss for words, gazing into Blaine’s eyes like he might find his voice hidden in their depths. “Okay… yeah.”

Blaine presses a kiss to Kurt’s lips, and lets himself deepen it for a moment before pulling back, not without a fair amount of regret. “Love you,” he says softly, and steps away towards where his clothes are piled on a chair.

“Wait… Blaine…” Kurt grabs Blaine’s arm, and turns him back to face him. “I’m... you…” He shakes his head and laughs. “You’ve literally left me speechless.”

Blaine grins. “It happens occasionally.”

Kurt pulls him back in for another kiss, and this time it’s Kurt that expresses his intent, wrapping a hand around Blaine’s head and holding him close. “You’re delicious,” he murmurs, biting at Blaine’s lower lip.

“I haven’t even brushed my teeth,” Blaine says.

“Don’t care.”

“I know.” Their chests are pressed together, and Blaine slides a hand up the side of Kurt’s ribs, wanting to feel more, to play with the nipple he can feel hardening in anticipation, to tweak it and tease it until Kurt is begging for more. But…

“There really isn’t time now, is there,” Blaine says sadly, breaking the kiss and stilling his hand.

Kurt nods, but his hand is still gripping Blaine’s hip. 

Blaine is seconds away from thrusting his hips against Kurt’s, and Kurt is clearly thinking the same thing, to the extent he’s thinking anything at all. 

“I want you so much,” Kurt breathes out, deliberately stepping back, his hand finding Blaine’s. “So much, I can’t even tell you.”

“Same,” Blaine says breathlessly.

“Yeah?”

Blaine nods emphatically. “Yeah.”

“You’re not worried anymore?”

Blaine laughs, plops down on the bed, and pulls a pillow over his lap. “Yeah, I’m still worried. But… maybe less than I used to be?”

Kurt takes Blaine’s clothes off the desk chair, hands them to Blaine. “Isn’t acting in the face of fear the definition of courage?”

Blaine pulls on his henley and runs his fingers through his hair to smooth it down. “Yeah, maybe. But Kurt… I don’t want you to think I’m afraid of you. That’s not it.” He stands up and goes back over to Kurt, takes his hand and looks into his eyes. “I’m afraid of getting hurt. Of getting in deep again, and not being able to make it work. It happens, it happens to people all the time. I’m just not really very good at dealing with it.”

Kurt is looking lost, and Blaine sighs. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how this went from sexy to sad so fast.”

“Sounds like the name of an album.”

“Do albums even have names anymore?”

“You spend too much time on You Tube.”

“You spend too much money on iTunes.”

Kurt gasps, pretending to be offended, and then moves to sit next to Blaine on the bed. “Not to change the subject, but we have a really big day today, and I need to tell you something before everything gets crazy.”

Blaine twists, folding a leg up underneath himself to face Kurt head on. “Okay.” He’s suddenly nervous.

“You are not just my terribly sexy, gorgeous, sensitive and thoughtful boyfriend, who I am ridiculously grateful to have back in my life. You are also an incredibly talented actor and singer, and you are going to bring down the house tonight.”

Blaine beams – he can’t help it – and pulls Kurt into a hug. “You’re going to be great, too.”

“I feel so lucky to be able to share this experience with you,” Kurt says. “Honestly. It’s more than I ever really expected.”

His eyes are shining when Blaine pulls back to look at him, and Blaine has to hold him close again, steady himself against the wave of emotions pouring through him. “Me, too, Kurt.” They stay wound up together for a few minutes, Kurt’s hands gently roaming over Blaine’s back, Blaine relaxing into his touch. But time is moving on, and they both know they have things to do before the curtain goes up.

Kurt pulls back, smirks at Blaine still sitting there without his pants on, and then stands up. “What do you say you go home and shower, I’ll get ready here, and then I’ll come pick you up and we’ll go over to the hotel and see Carole and Pam?”

“What about cleaning your apartment?”

Kurt shrugs. “Carole’s been here before. And I doubt that my apartment is really what she’s coming to see.”

“Sometimes, Kurt Hummel, you are incredibly wise.” Blaine suspects Kurt will in fact get a little cleaning in before leaving the house, but that’s okay.

“Nah. Just practical. Since we’ll probably go out to dinner, there’s no need to get this place ready. I hear there’s a good seafood place by the theater…”


	8. Chapter 8

“So, things going well with Blaine?” Carole asks, sitting down on the edge of the hotel bed and toeing off her shoes.

After Blaine and Kurt had arrived at the hotel and hugs were exchanged all around, Pam announced that she absolutely had to check out a store she had heard about which sold hard to find makeup tools and that she needed Blaine to help her find it. “It’s nearby, I’m sure, so we won’t take too long, but probably at least half an hour, so…”

It was clear to all of them that Pam was just trying to give Carole and Kurt a little time alone, but Kurt was willing to go along with it. “If you see one of those lambswool makeup blender brushes, pick one up for me?”

Pam laughs and drags Blaine out the door. “Will do.”

Carole tilts her head at Kurt. “Lambswool makeup blender brush?” She says it like it’s a tongue twister.

“It’s a real thing,” Kurt protests. “Come on, you do realize I wear makeup every day on stage, right? And when you have very fair skin, it’s important to blend the foundation properly, otherwise you just look blotchy.” Kurt pays very close attention to his stage makeup – there’s nothing wrong with that.

But now all make-up related conversation is over, and instead of talking about Burt, and loss, and how Carole is doing (not super well, if the purplish bags under her eyes are any indication), she apparently wants to talk about Blaine.

Kurt smiles, thinking of his “rain check” moment with Blaine this morning, when he finally felt like Blaine might still be sexually attracted to him after all. Not that he doubted Blaine’s attraction to him generally – the man was still as generous with compliments as ever, and clearly liked to look at him – but he had seemed remarkably determined to keep sex off the table for now. Or, at least, until this morning. Maybe it was shallow, but Kurt was relieved. And not a small bit excited.

Of course, then Kurt had to ruin it by asking if Blaine was still worried. Which he freely admitted he was.

Carole is still waiting for an answer, so Kurt comes up with one. “Yeah, things are going well.”

Carole tilts her head. She’s very good at reading him. “Is that a statement or a question?”

“Well, it’s complicated.”

Carole scoots up on the bed until her back is against the headboard, and pats the space next to her. “Come on up and tell me about it.”

Kurt talks to Carole about Blaine almost daily, but he tends to report logistics more than feelings – we went here, we did this, there was too much oregano on the pizza we ordered. It’s a common failing of his, he knows.

“Some things are going really well.”

“That’s good,” Carole says blandly. “But…?”

Kurt sighs. “I don’t know. It’s hard, harder than it used to be. Harder than I expected.”

“In what way?”

Kurt picks up one of the accent pillows from the bed, plays with a tassel hanging from a corner. It’s coming unraveled. “It’s as if the parts of us that used to fit perfectly together got injured when we fought, and when we broke up. And now they’re healed, more or less, but there’s scar tissue there, so we don’t fit so well anymore.”

“That’s an interesting way to look at it.”

“And Blaine… Blaine is different. He’s full of scar tissue. And I feel like I keep bumping him in the wrong places, where it still hurts.”

“Ouch,” Carole says softly. “You sure it isn’t just that both of you have changed some? It has been a few years.”

“Oh, I know I’ve changed too. Definitely. I’m probably even more of a control freak than I used to be – how’s that going to help us, exactly?”

“You’re not a freak, Kurt.”

Kurt sighs. “I don’t know how to read him anymore. He gets upset sometimes, really upset, but then he says everything’s fine. It’s confusing.”

“Can you give me an example?”

Kurt tells her about the surprise Blaine planned the other day, to have Carole and Pam sit together tonight, and how Blaine was upset when Kurt reacted badly to it. It’s sort of an embarrassing example, given that Carole is here right now because of Blaine and Pam, but it’s the most recent and it’s still confusing him.

“He seemed so upset, so disappointed that I wasn’t excited about his idea. And I spent hours wishing I had reacted differently. But then when we talked about it, it was as if it was no big deal – he said he understood why I reacted badly.”

“Do you think he really does understand?”

Kurt thinks of Blaine holding him last night, comforting him through the whole Carole-not-coming fiasco. “Yeah, I think he does.”

“So the thing that is bothering you is that he got upset, and then calmed down?”

“Okay, it sounds silly when you say it that way, but yes. It’s just not like Blaine to react that way.”

“How would old Blaine have reacted?”

“It wouldn’t have bothered him at all.” But Kurt knows, as soon as the words leave his mouth, that it’s not true. He turns to Carole and finds her looking at him with a knowing expression. “It _would_ have bothered him, though, wouldn’t it?”

“Probably,” she says.

“But he would have pretended it didn’t bother him. Not been outwardly upset at all. Kept his show face on.”

“Very possibly.”

“Shit.”

Carole slides off the bed, goes into the bathroom and comes out with a glass of water for Kurt. “I’d bring you a soda, but I don’t want to know how much those little cans in the refrigerator cost.”

He smiles and takes the glass. “Thanks.” 

“Kurt?” Carole sits on the edge of the bed and then climbs back up. “You know Blaine was depressed, right? Clinically depressed, not just kind of down?”

Kurt feels his face warm. Does he seem that oblivious? “Yeah, I know that.”

“Have you guys talked about it? About how much it still affects him?”

Kurt shakes his head. “I don’t know how to ask him. I keep meaning to, but I don’t know what to say.” He grimaces. “I guess I should figure out how.”

Carole pauses, lets that sink in. Then, “Do you know if he saw a therapist?”

“I think he went to one when he was in Lima. Dad mentioned it, once.” When he read me the riot act for not keeping in touch with Blaine, Kurt remembers.

“I’m not a doctor, and this certainly isn’t my area of expertise. But I wonder if what you’re seeing is that Blaine has learned to try to express his feelings, instead of hiding them around you. Which, generally speaking, is probably a really positive thing for him.”

“He was never shy about telling me how he was feeling,” Kurt protests. It wasn’t Blaine that had the problem with intimacy; it was Kurt.

“I don’t mean telling you the good things. It’s easy for him to tell you how much he loves you,” Carole counters. “That would have been clear from outer space. I’m talking about when it comes to negative feelings. Or if he was concerned about upsetting you, or disappointing you? Wasn’t that one of the things that you guys fought about?”

“You mean the whole June Dolloway disaster?” Kurt had latched onto Blaine’s lies about the showcase as one of the cracks in the foundation of their relationship, and remembers ranting to Carole and Burt about it one night on the phone. But he knows, if he thinks about it, that Blaine lied because he was trying not to upset Kurt. He was hoping to convince June to come around, because he believed so strongly that Kurt belonged in the show, it seemed impossible to him that she wouldn’t agree in the end. Blaine did what he did to protect Kurt, not to hurt him. It didn’t excuse the lie, or prevent him from being hurt in the end, but it did help Kurt understand it. “I guess so.”

Kurt sighs, flopping back down on the bed, the now empty water glass still in his hand. “So what’s the takeaway here? Be glad that Blaine gets upset with me?”

Carole smiles. “Bingo. He’s being honest, and trusting you with his real self. This is a good thing.”

They sit quietly for a few minutes, Kurt thinking about what Carole has said. Then Carole gets up to use the bathroom, and Kurt wonders how to broach the elephant in the room. But he doesn’t have to.

“So, how are you?” Carole asks, climbing back on to the bed to sit next to Kurt. She’s clearly not just making small talk.

“I’m okay.”

She gives him a look and a frown.

“No, really, I am. I mean… things are hard. It hits me at the strangest times, that he’s gone… but I’m okay.”

Carole doesn’t seem particularly convinced. “Can you talk to Blaine about it? Does he understand?”

He thinks about the past few weeks, of all the times Blaine has so clearly understood, even before they were dating again. Of how he always put aside his own fears about getting close to Kurt when it came to Kurt’s grief. “Yeah, he does.”

“That’s good, then.”

He feels like there’s more to say, how he worries that he’s so wrecked by his father’s death that it’s all Blaine can see in him these days, that he wonders if Blaine is going to get tired of playing babysitter and move on to someone a little less likely to burst into tears at the slightest provocation, but then there’s a knock on the door and their time for this particular heart to heart is at an end.

The door slowly eases open and Pam sticks her head into the room. “Okay if we join you?” she asks.

“Of course,” Kurt says, smiling when he sees from the bags Blaine is toting that they really did find the makeup store.

They don’t have a lot of time before Kurt and Blaine have to be at the theater, so they decide to walk around the block to a little café and get a light meal together. The group parts ways after that - Pam and Carole are off to meet Anjali and Lucy for a quick trip to the Met exhibit, as previously planned, before heading to the theater in time for opening night.

Not only does the show go off without a hitch, but it’s clearly one of the best performances they’ve given so far. Nothing like peaking at the right time, Kurt thinks. The cast and crew are full of congratulations for each other, and it takes him a few minutes to find Blaine in the gleeful crowd backstage. When he finally spots him, he can’t help but smile – Blaine is grinning broadly, an arm around Mona, whispering something into her ear that is making her blush like there’s no tomorrow.

Kurt slides up behind his boyfriend and wraps his arms around his waist. “You were amazing tonight.”

Blaine spins in his arms and hugs him tightly. “You were too.” He pulls back and bites his lip. “I can’t believe I’m really doing this. A Broadway revival, opening night… We’re going to get reviews!”

“Pretty awesome, isn’t it?” Kurt agrees. It really is.

Kurt keeps his hands on Blaine’s shoulders, holding him there and looking into his shining eyes, happy and full of the joy of accomplishment. He wants to remember this moment. He wants _Blaine_ to remember this moment. “I always knew you were a star,” he says seriously. “Don’t forget it.”

Blaine blinks and swallows, then nods at Kurt, recognizing the deeper meaning beneath his words. “Thank you. I won’t.”

Pam and Carole find them backstage, Anjali and Lucy leading them through the crowd, and it’s chaotic for a while, cast and crew and guests and photographers all crushed into the same small spaces they’ve been working in for weeks. After some negotiation they decide to head back to Blaine and Mona’s place – it’s bigger than Kurt’s, and most of them are exhausted - except for Pam – she never seems to get tired. It may be why she and Anjali get along so well.

It’s a happy exhaustion, though, and conversation flows as freely as relief and excitement. Kurt is in the kitchen with Mona’s dad and Carole, half of his attention on their conversation about the show and half on Blaine, who is sitting on the floor with Mona and her two sisters, the three blond girls an endearing frame to Blaine’s dark good looks. Blaine’s eating pineapple pizza with a knife and fork, balancing the plate carefully on his knees. Pam is on the couch behind Blaine, playing with his freshly washed curls with a smile on her face, as if she is just waiting for him to turn around and protest. It isn’t long before he does. 

Blaine dressed up for tonight, and while his style has changed a bit over the years, apparently he hasn’t completely let go of the desire to make a bit of a statement. He’s wearing a trim navy suit with a coordinating dark blue shirt, topped off with a bright fuchsia silk bowtie. Blaine lost the suit jacket somewhere along the way, and now his sleeves are pushed up along his forearms and the bowtie is loosely hanging around his neck. The top buttons of the shirt are undone. Blaine is stunning, and Kurt is longing to kick everyone out of the apartment and finish undressing him.

Pam pulls Blaine up to dance with her when an upbeat song comes on their playlist, and Mona’s sisters join in, all of them bumping into each other in the small space. Blaine catches Kurt’s eye as he dips his mom, and Kurt feels his heart flutter as Blaine smiles at him and then spins her away. A melody from a show Kurt’s never been in (but would love to do someday, he’d make a great King George) wanders through his mind. “Helpless… Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit. I’m helpless… down for the count and I’m drowning in ‘em....” Yup. Pretty much sums up how he feels for Blaine. He’s going down with this ship, no doubt about it.

He catches Carole looking at him with a smirk – Mona’s dad has returned to the living room, dancing goodheartedly with his daughters, and Kurt seems to have missed the rest of the conversation. “I’m so proud of you,” she says, leaning into him. “You’ve been working so hard.” Kurt isn’t sure if she is referring to his performance in the show or to what’s going on with him and Blaine. Probably both. Carole’s a very smart lady.

The irony of opening night is that no matter how spectacular it is, and how much everyone wants to throw up their hands and celebrate, they all have to do it all over again the next day. Mona is the first to call it quits, giving Blaine a big hug and a knowing look as she and her family head off to a nearby hotel – she’s taking advantage of the spacious suite her dad reserved, and the opportunity to spend more time with her sisters. This, of course, leaves Blaine with an empty apartment… Kurt has a feeling he knows where this is going, and he hopes he isn’t wrong.

Pam and Carole won’t go until all the glasses are in the dishwasher and the pizza boxes put out in the trash, but soon they are saying their goodbyes as well. Kurt goes into the kitchen to get something to wipe up the coffee table with – it is a little sticky and wouldn’t do to make Mona regret her decision to invite them all over – and when he comes back, Blaine is sacked out on the couch, leaning heavily against the arm, his legs curled up underneath him.

Kurt’s heart does that flippy thing again, and he sits down gently next to him. He pushes an errant curl off Blaine’s forehead, and Blaine blinks and opens his eyes. “Mmm. Guess I fell asleep,” he mumbles, shifting to lean on Kurt instead of the arm of the sofa.

“Guess you did,” Kurt says, leaning in to press a kiss to Blaine’s sleepy lips. “My handsome Prince Charming.”

“It’s not actually a very nice nickname,” Blaine says, mouth quirking up at the edge as he snuggles against Kurt.

“No?”

“Nope. Charming’s kind of a douche, you might have noticed. ‘Raised to be charming, not sincere’ and all that.”

Kurt huffs out a laugh. “Fine. You’re Sleeping Beauty, then.”

“Well, I’m definitely sleepy,” Blaine mumbles. “Not sure about the rest.”

Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and sits back, tugging at him until he sits up a little. “It’s actually perfect. You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever known,” Kurt says, gazing into Blaine’s honey eyes. 

Blaine blushes and squirms a bit under Kurt’s gaze. “Thank you, but-”

Kurt cuts him off with a kiss. “You’re still awful at accepting compliments, you know.”

“Sorry,” Blaine says automatically. They both laugh, and Blaine sags back into Kurt, playing with the placket of his silvery dress shirt, a present from Isabelle from his last opening night. “You’re beautiful too, you know.”

“You’re just jealous of my wardrobe.”

“’Course I am. It gets to hang out with you all the time.”

“Cheeseball.”

“Mmm.” Blaine has apparently tired of witty repartee, and is now just nuzzling along the underside of Kurt’s neck. Kurt isn’t sure if he is falling asleep or just trying to turn him on very, very slowly, but in either case, it’s time for a change of venue.

“Want to get into bed?”

“Yeah.” Blaine blinks again, stretches, and then glances at Kurt. “Mona said we could use her room.” He actually looks abashed at this, as if it is somehow more scandalous to spend the night in the bedroom instead of on his fold-out couch. “You are staying over, right?”

“I’d love to.”

Blaine grins, then unceremoniously shuffles his way back to Mona’s bedroom, strips down to his black briefs, and climbs into bed. “What?” he says when Kurt gives him a look. “I’m tired.”

“Fine. They’re your teeth,” Kurt teases. He takes a detour into the small bathroom to brush his own teeth – not that he is opposed to skipping it when circumstances demand, but since he just gave Blaine grief about it, the least he can do is come to bed with fresh breath. He gives his face a quick wash and another once-over with a gentle moisturizer, but he already showered and washed his face after the show, and there isn’t much need for more detailed skincare. Still, he’s a bit nervous, not knowing whether Blaine is expecting him to cash in on the rain check they laughed about earlier this morning, and so he takes his time. 

He’s stuck debating what to wear for a few minutes. He was a little surprised at Blaine’s decision to forego pajamas, but given that Blaine used to wear as little as possible to bed, Kurt figures he should really take this as a sign that Blaine is getting more comfortable with the whole situation. Finally Kurt emerges, only to find Blaine curled up under the covers, facing the bedroom door as if waiting for Kurt. He’s fast asleep.

Kurt slides into bed next to him, admiring the way the light sneaking through the curtains dances over Blaine’s shapely shoulder. He moves closer until Blaine blinks his eyes open and smiles. 

“Hey, sweetie, there you are,” Blaine says fondly, reaching out a hand towards Kurt.

Kurt’s heart is so full, he thinks he might just explode. “Here I am.” He holds out an arm and Blaine immediately snuggles into him, Blaine’s forehead tucked against Kurt’s neck, his foot winding over Kurt’s ankle.

Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and holds it against his chest, as Blaine drifts immediately back into sleep. He strokes his thumb against the smooth skin of Blaine’s wrist. He’s glad, in a way, that Blaine is asleep right now, because he’s not sure he could express his feelings properly if Blaine was actually looking into his eyes, his face so earnest and open and full of love for Kurt. He wants so badly to do this right, to gain back Blaine’s trust and be worthy of the love that he so freely gives.

Kurt lets go of Blaine’s hand and crooks his pinky around Blaine’s. “It’s gonna work out this time, I can feel it,” he whispers quietly. “Just give us a chance, you’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen it yet, please check out the cover art I made (I made it - whee!) for this fic, posted in Chapter 1.
> 
> And thank you all for the lovely comments you have been leaving - I can't tell you how much they are appreciated.
> 
> Finally, the song that floats through Kurt's mind when he is looking at Blaine after opening night is "Helpless" from Hamilton.


	9. Chapter 9

The next week passes quickly, the buzz from opening night turning up the excitement during their performances, and keeping them all on their toes.

Blaine and Kurt had spent the morning after the opening at brunch with Pam and Carole. Blaine thought Carole was doing pretty well, all things considering. She certainly had a lot to talk about - apparently Mona’s dad was involved with a program at a hospital in Connecticut which brings animals in for patients to play with, and had told her all about it last night. Carole thought the hospital she works at in Lima could use something like it, and since she’s close with some of the administrators, she was going to see what she could do. Blaine thought that Carole would probably benefit from a nice friendly dog to come home to, but he figured that once she comes into contact with the dogs involved in the program, that would probably take care of itself.

Blaine could see that his mom was dying to ask them how the show had been received, but didn’t want to interrupt Carole’s story about the therapy dogs. After a few minutes she couldn’t hold back any longer, and demanded that they spill.

Kurt and Blaine launched into a detailed description of what each of the major reviewers had to say about their revival of _Into The Woods._ It was almost uniformly good – some comments were downright glowing – and Kurt and Blaine have gotten some positive comments directed at them individually as well. 

Pam and Carole were proud, of course, as expected. The only uncomfortable moment came when Pam asked Blaine if it meant that he was going to move out of Mona’s place and get one of his own. She didn’t even look repentant when he kicked her under the table (although Kurt did shoot him a questioning look – apparently the kick wasn’t very subtle). Blaine had no intention of moving anywhere until he was more certain about what was going on with him and Kurt, and he didn’t need his mother making that analysis any more complicated. He doesn’t even know if he’ll stay in New York when this show’s run is over, although if he lets himself think about it, those plans will probably be affected by Kurt, too.

Now it’s Tuesday, and Blaine has taken advantage of the show’s slightly earlier start time to plan a get together after the show with Jonathan and his new girlfriend, Kristin. He had proposed a quiet dinner back at Mona’s, but apparently quiet wasn’t what Jonathan was in the mood for, which is how they had ended up at a noisy club, crowded around a tall table, trying to catch up over drinks and overpriced snacks. Mona has already left with Anjali – they decided they would rather take a walk and get coffee than shout over the music – but Blaine is doing his best to play along. Kurt doesn’t seem to mind, either, raising an eyebrow as Kristin tells them about her course in graphic design and computer animation. It seems like it involves a lot of math.

Kristin finally takes a breath, brushes her long black hair away from her face, and takes a sip of the margarita Jonathan has just deposited in front of her. “Mmm, yummy,” she says, looking up at Jonathan and licking her lips. She looks around the table, her eyes landing on Blaine. “Why didn’t you get a fun drink? This place has the _best_ drinks.” She slides her glass over to Blaine. “Try it, it’s great.”

Blaine shakes his head, but Kristin insists, and he doesn’t feel like making a scene. The outside of the martini glass is a little sticky, but she’s right – it’s a great margarita. “It’s good. Tastes like they used real lime juice,” he comments, trying to pass it back to her after he has taken a sip.

“Uh-uh, you keep it,” Kristin says, standing up and pulling Jonathan along with her. “They have so many – I want to try one of those purple ones.” She gives Blaine and Kurt a little wave and then lets Jonathan clear a path for them towards the bar.

Blaine takes the little orange slice off the edge of his glass and bites off the good part. When he looks up, Kurt is gazing at him curiously.

“You don’t have to drink that just because she gave it to you, you know.” He’s leaning close enough to Blaine that he has no trouble hearing him over the thrum of the music.

Blaine quirks up his mouth at him. “I know.” 

Kurt presses his lips together, starts to say something, then apparently decides against it, taking a drink from his own glass instead. Blaine doesn’t remember what Kurt ordered – something fizzy, with vodka, he thinks.

“You can ask me,” Blaine says.

“Ask you what?” Kurt tries for nonchalance, but doesn’t quite hit it.

Blaine just tilts his head, and Kurt sighs.

“Fine. You don’t drink that much. Hardly at all. How come?” Kurt says obediently. “But honestly, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to tell me. And I don’t mind, obviously.”

Blaine grins at Kurt’s somewhat awkward attempt to reassure him. “It’s not that big a deal, and I don’t have a problem talking about it.” He takes a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say. He’s not going to give the same answer he gives most people; Kurt deserves as much of the truth as he can figure out.

“For a while I was on medication that didn’t mix well with alcohol,” he begins. “But even after that, it’s not really a good idea for people with depression to drink too much. An occasional drink or two is fine, but I didn’t want it to become a regular thing. I really shouldn’t have a glass of wine with dinner every night, or a few beers, the way a lot of my friends do. It seemed easier just to draw a clear line and not drink at all.” He feels a little exposed after this speech, and realizes he’s delivered it with his eyes firmly planted on the table. But when he looks up at Kurt, he’s surprised by what he sees. Kurt looks sad.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t drink as much as you want, of course,” Blaine fills in. “I don’t mind if you do.”

Kurt blinks, leans forward. “What? No, I don’t care about that. Alcohol is just empty calories, anyway.”

“Then why so glum?”

Kurt sighs and takes Blaine’s hand. “I’ve been a bad boyfriend.”

“Kurt?” He’s making Blaine nervous. “What do you mean?”

“I was afraid to ask you about having depression, about what happened. About how you are now.” Kurt presses his lips together. “About what I can do to help.”

“Kurt, that’s okay, it’s not your problem.”

Kurt shakes his head. “It’s not okay. I just ignored it, and that’s not right. It obviously still… affects you, and I’m pretending it’s not even there.”

Blaine is embarrassed, but touched, too. “Well, maybe we can find a time to talk about it somewhere more private,” he says, as a waiter comes by and eyes their still full drinks. “If you want, you can even meet my therapist.”

Kurt’s eyes go wide at this. “You see a therapist?”

“By Skype, these days. She’s in Boston. And usually just every two weeks or so.” It actually feels good to tell Kurt about this. There have been a few times when he declined a lunch invitation from Kurt because he had a phone call scheduled with Theresa; it will be nice not to have to feel like he has to make an excuse.

Kurt scoots closer to Blaine, looks him in the eye and squeezes his hand. “I’d be happy to meet her. I’m sorry I didn’t ask about it sooner. You shouldn’t feel like you have to keep anything from me.”

Blaine shrugs. “I didn’t exactly volunteer anything. I wasn’t sure what you wanted to know.” He reaches around the margarita for his ginger ale. “Mona’s really the only one who knows the whole story. And she was seriously confused about me getting trashed at that party at Mark’s, back when rehearsals started.”

Kurt grimaces, clearly remembering the drunk hook-up that did more to injure their relationship than forward it. “Now I really feel like an ass.”

“Wasn’t your fault that I decided to drink that much.”

“Yeah, but I took advantage…”

“No, you didn’t. If there’s any fault to be had, it’s on both of us.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes. It’s clear that neither of them is in the mood for the club anymore.

“Want to get out of here?” Blaine asks.

Kurt’s eyes light up for a moment, but then he shakes his head. “We’re supposed to be hanging out with your friends.”

Blaine wishes Kurt still didn’t think of them as just _Blaine’s_ friends, but the current setting isn’t particularly conducive to getting to know them better anyway. “They’ll understand.” Blaine stands up, wipes his hands on his jeans and looks around. “I’ll go find Jonathan and let him know.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

*****  
Kurt plays with the stirrer in his drink as he watches Blaine head off through the crowd to find Jonathan. He feels a little shaky from their conversation. Kurt doesn’t know why it is so hard for him to talk to Blaine about his depression, but it makes him unsettled, nervous inside. It seems wrong that Blaine, who had at one point epitomized the boy who seemed to have everything (“you’re the alpha gay” he remembers saying to Blaine), has an undeniable vulnerability.

Blaine really didn’t seem upset when he talked to Kurt about it, though, and he tries to focus on this. He remembers a conversation with his father where Burt chided him for shying away from the topic, back when their breakup was still fresh. “It’s a medical condition, Kurt. If the guy had diabetes, you wouldn’t hold it against him, right?”

And it wasn’t as if Kurt held Blaine’s depression against him, of course, or thought that it was Blaine’s fault. But it still made him uncomfortable to think about it. Now that the subject had been raised, he hoped it would be easier to talk about it some more. He knows he has some work to do. Maybe talking to Blaine’s therapist would be a good idea.

Kurt was just wondering how exactly that would work – would he talk privately with her, or would all three of them get on the phone together, and if so, what if what he said embarrassed Blaine? – when a hand claps him on the shoulder.

“Kurt Hummel! Oh my god, how long has it been?”

Kurt jumps halfway out of his seat and stares as Elliott Gilbert slides into the empty stool next to him, his eyes brightly shining. He isn’t decked out in Starchild attire tonight, but he does look good, his eyes rimmed in dark liner and a black leather jacket hugging his shoulders.

“Elliott, hi,” Kurt manages to say, “How are you?”

“I’m super, just out for a drink with some friends. I’ll have to introduce you, you’d love them.” Elliott has clearly had a few drinks already, and spins around in his chair looking for his friends. “They’re around here somewhere.”

“Sure, that would be nice-”

“Wow, Kurt, it’s great to see you. But I’m still sort of in shock.” 

“Why’s that?” Kurt isn’t sure whether he should be offended at this.

“I don’t know, you just disappeared, man. Dropped off the edge of the planet and all that. I mean, you’re the last person I expected to run into tonight. Especially since…” Elliott leans close to Kurt and whispers in his ear, “I think Blaine is here too. I’m not sure, because he looks kind of different, but I could swear I saw him talking to a really tall guy over there.” Elliott waves his hand vaguely in the direction of the dance floor, where Kurt can just make out Jonathan towering over Kristin. “Crazy coincidence, right?”

Of course Blaine picks that moment to return to the table, his eyes going wide when he sees Elliott. 

“Holy crap, it _is_ Blaine!” Elliott crows, and slides off his stool to wrap his arms around Blaine’s shoulders. “How are you, man?” Elliott sways a little as Blaine pulls back to look at him, but Blaine just grins.

“I’m good, Elliott. How are you?”

But Elliott has apparently lost the train of the simple conversation already, and is just staring at Kurt and Blaine, his head moving back and forth between them like a drunk at a tennis match. “Wait a minute, this isn’t a coincidence, is it?”

Kurt smiles and stands up, taking Blaine’s hand in his own. Blaine gives him a squeeze and a quick peck on the cheek.

“Nope, it’s not,” Kurt says. 

Elliott launches himself forward, pulling them both into a hug, and pats Kurt a little too firmly on the back. “Awesome, man, awesome. I knew you guys were the real thing.”

They talk for a few more minutes, enough to confirm that yes, they all still have the same phone numbers, and of course they should make plans to get together soon. Kurt is hesitant to leave Elliott by himself in his current state, but it’s getting later and later, and at this point any chance of spending some quality time with Blaine after they leave is dwindling to none. Finally a few of the people Elliott came in with find their table and promise to look after Elliott, and so Kurt and Blaine say their goodbyes and make their way out on to the street.

The night is cool, and Kurt is grateful for Blaine’s warmth against his side as they head towards the subway. They’re quiet until they get on to the train, when Blaine takes Kurt’s hand and weaves their fingers together. “You okay?”

Kurt looks up. Blaine’s eyes are wide, a concerned expression on his face. “Do I not seem okay?”

Blaine shrugs. “Seeing Elliott must have been a surprise.”

Kurt nods. “It was.”

“I’m glad we ran into him.” Blaine sits back, taking Kurt’s hand with him and holding it in his lap. “I like Elliott. I’d like to see him again, if you want to.”

Kurt frowns. “I’m not in charge of who you see, Blaine.”

Blaine tilts his head at Kurt. “I know that. But I wouldn’t do it if it would make you uncomfortable. And I meant we should both see him again, you know, like we talked about. Have dinner or something.” The train goes around a corner and Blaine slides against Kurt, their shoulders bumping together. “I was just trying to be considerate of your feelings.”

“I don’t feel weird about seeing Elliott, Blaine.”

“Then why haven’t you gotten in touch with him? He doesn’t seem to hold the whole New Year’s thing against you –he wouldn’t do that, anyway. You guys used to be such good friends.”

Yeah, but not anymore, Kurt thinks sadly.

“Hey,” Blaine says softly, twisting to catch Kurt’s gaze. “Just because you lost touch with him, it doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.” He smiles gently at Kurt. “We’re pretty good evidence of that, don’t you think?”

Blaine gives Kurt that little smile, the one that lights his eyes and wrinkles his nose just a bit, and Kurt’s heart does a somersault. “Yeah, I guess we are.” If he can fix things with Blaine, there’s no reason he can’t mend fences with his old friends, too, right? Kurt leans against Blaine, resting his head on his shoulder. Blaine doesn’t just give him love. He gives him hope.


	10. Chapter 10

It’s more frenetic than usual backstage, everyone thrumming with excitement over the good reviews they received after opening night last week. Kurt is going through his bag in his dressing room when he realizes he mixed up Blaine’s packed lunch with his own – they had stopped at a deli to get some food for later, and he knows Blaine planned to snack on it at some point this afternoon; it’s hard to figure out when to eat, but Blaine isn’t on stage nearly as much as Kurt is, so he has more down time. 

Kurt takes Blaine’s lunch and pushes down the hallway towards Blaine’s dressing room. Everyone else is headed in the opposite direction, towards make-up, and he feels a bit like a salmon swimming upstream. When he gets there only Ricky is in the room, and Kurt sighs. Maybe he’ll just stick Blaine’s lunch in the little refrigerator and fill him in on the switch when he sees him.

“Looking for loverboy?” Ricky asks, leaning back in his chair and pursing his lips. He’s already in his steward costume, but the buttons on the jacket are undone, and his wig is on crooked. “I can give you a good luck kiss, if that’s what you need.”

“As you well know, I’m not interested,” Kurt responds flatly. “Do you know where Blaine is?”

Ricky shrugs. “He was just here a minute ago. Probably sucking up to Deb – although she doesn’t really have the right equipment, does she? That only works with you.”

“What the hell is your problem with me?” Blaine says suddenly, storming into the room. He has obviously heard Ricky’s comment, and his eyes flicker back and forth between Kurt and Ricky. “For weeks now, you have been giving me crap, Ricky. What’s the deal?”

Fuck, Kurt thinks, and moves in between them as Ricky pops up from his chair. He puts a hand on Blaine’s arm and tries to get his attention, but Blaine is focused on Ricky. “Blaine, let’s go.”

Blaine tries to shrug off his hold. “No, I’m sick of this.” He turns back to Ricky. “What the hell did I ever do to you?”

Kurt grits his teeth. “It’s not what you did, it’s what I did.” Blaine’s gaze locks on his, and his face pales under his stage makeup. “What I didn’t do, actually,” Kurt clarifies.

“Kurt, what are you talking about?” Blaine’s voice has gone thin.

“Oh, the ice queen didn’t tell you?” Ricky says to Blaine. “Surprise, pretty boy. You’re not the first prince little Jack has charmed.” Ricky pushes past them and out of the room with a glare.

Then they are alone in the dressing room, and then momentary silence is deafening. Blaine is staring at Kurt, lips pressed tightly together. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Ricky-”

“There’s nothing to tell.” Kurt grabs Blaine’s shoulders, forces him to look into his eyes. “Nothing, I promise.”

“There’s obviously something.” Blaine is trembling, but he’s taking deep breaths, trying to keep himself calm.

“It’s nothing – I just, he…” Kurt takes a deep breath himself, pulls Blaine over to sit down at his dressing area and tugs another chair over to sit next to him, pressing his knees against Blaine’s. “We were both workshopping _Twilight: The Musical_ -”

“What?” Blaine’s eyebrows furrow. “There was a musical of _Twilight?_ ”

“No, it never went anywhere, it was terrible, believe me – anyway, I was just trying to do my best with it, and Ricky started cornering me every time rehearsal ended, trying to get me to have dinner with him, get drinks, go to a movie, whatever. He kept saying he wanted to ‘just hang out.’ I didn’t want any part of it, but then people started saying I was anti-social,” Kurt clenches his jaw and forces himself to go on, “so, stupidly, I agreed. We had a horrible time at dinner, he couldn’t keep the conversation in the air if it had helium balloons tied to it, but somehow the next day at rehearsal the rumor got around that we had hooked up.” 

“Did you?” Blaine’s voice is calm, but he is sitting primly in his chair, his hands wrapped tightly around each other.

“No, no way – have you met him?” Kurt stands up, pacing the floor. “He tried to kiss me good night. I told him flat out that I wasn’t interested and that he needed to stop pursuing me. That was it. But he wanted to preserve his reputation or some ridiculous thing, I suppose, and other people in the cast had seen us heading off to the restaurant together.” He sits back down, sighs. “I still don’t know if he spread the rumor, or he just encouraged it.”

“That must have sucked.” The color has returned to Blaine’s face, and he’s no longer looking like he’s ready to bolt.

“It did.” Kurt tries unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.

“What?”

“ _Twilight: The Musical_ sucked even worse. Luckily we were all let go a few days later, so I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.” Kurt takes Blaine’s hand, gives it a squeeze. “Ricky is an immature, jealous, bored chorus member, who’s never going to get to play the roles you and I will – the roles we’re already playing. He’s just being an ass. I’m sorry that my history with him is making things difficult, but I promise you, nothing happened between us.”

Blaine considers this. “You should have given me a heads up. He’s been on my case for weeks.”

Kurt bites his lip. “You’re right. I should have. I was hoping he’d just be an adult about everything and let it go. I talked to him during the first few days of rehearsal, and I thought we were good.”

“Still… I’m sharing a dressing room with the guy. I have to work with him every day, Kurt. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid you’d judge me,” Kurt says softly, looking down. He’s still afraid.

“Judge you? For _not_ going out with an asshole?”

Kurt shrugs. “For leading him on, maybe? For letting those rumors get spread? It hasn’t helped my reputation any; I know what people say about me. It’s my own fault, for getting myself into the whole stupid situation in the first place.”

“I don’t think any of it is your fault, Kurt. You are allowed to date or not date whoever you want. And you’re not responsible for what other people say about you.”

Kurt meets his eyes, and he can tell Blaine means it. However, Blaine’s next words sting.

“You still should have told me.”

Kurt gets through the matinee on autopilot, thankfully so familiar with his role and the blocking by now that he can do it without too much active thought. He races to get changed after the finale, but before he can go looking for Blaine, his phone buzzes with a text.

**Mona and I are meeting Jonathan and some friends for dinner, we’ll probably be out late.**

Kurt’s stomach falls, landing somewhere under the stage, with the discarded sets and broken light fixtures. He types out a reply, redoing it twice to fix the typos made by his shaking fingers.

**Are we still on to see Sam perform tomorrow night?**

He sits down, jiggling his foot against the table leg until Blaine replies.

**Still on. Meet you at the Crazy Leopard at eight?**

Sam’s band has a gig at a country music bar in the Village, and, conveniently, they are playing on a Monday night when the theater is dark. Kurt had imagined that he and Blaine could spend their day off together, maybe have dinner out and then go see Sam play, but right now he’s just glad Blaine hasn’t called the whole thing off.

**Looking forward to it. See you there.**

Blaine doesn’t reply, and Kurt stares at his phone screen for several minutes, wondering what to do next. Blaine’s probably busy with stage door, or maybe they’re already on the subway. Does Kurt’s message even require a response? Maybe Blaine thought they were done talking?

Fuck it, he thinks, and types out another message.

**I’m really sorry about today, and about not telling you the backstory on Ricky. I love you.**

It isn’t until a few hours later that Blaine finally replies. At this point, Kurt has eaten every scrap of junk food in his apartment, and is considering ordering out for spicy chicken wings.

**Mona says I’m an ass for not inviting you to come out with us tonight. I’m sorry too. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.**

Kurt re-reads the message four times, trying to figure out whether the omission of those three critical words are cause for alarm. But then he gets another text.

**I love you too (meant to say that before; as noted, I’m an ass. Jonathan agrees with Mona, btw).**

**You’re not an ass (although you do have an awesome one). Have fun and I’ll see you tomorrow night. And tell Mona thanks. <3 **

Kurt sighs in relief as he cleans up the detritus from his evening’s worth of stress eating and heads back to his bedroom. Later that night, unable to fall asleep, he thinks about how different his life is than Blaine’s right now. Blaine is fortunate to have such a good group of friends, but it’s clear it didn’t just happen by magic; he makes a conscious effort to see them regularly, no matter how busy he is. Kurt thinks he should learn from Blaine’s example. 

He sighs, thinking about seeing Elliott at the bar the other night. It hadn’t been as awkward as Kurt had feared. More importantly, Elliott had seemed genuinely happy to see him, and pleased that he and Blaine were back together. Maybe a curry dinner was in their future after all.

**********

Monday Kurt tries to keep himself busy with errands and cleaning his apartment, but as determined as he is not to overthink yesterday’s fight with Blaine, he can’t help the way his mind keeps drifting towards the subject. It wasn’t even really a fight, he tells himself, as much as just another instance of Blaine getting upset about something that was, frankly, perfectly reasonable for him to get upset about. He just wasn’t used to this from Blaine. But as Carole had pointed out so astutely, it’s a good thing that Blaine is comfortable enough with him to express his feelings – it’s a lot better than the alternative. And from the tone of Blaine’s text messages at the end of the night, everything turned out fine.

Except that Blaine clearly wanted some space – otherwise they would be arm in arm right now, talking a walk through the autumn leaves which grace the city’s parks this time of year, or cuddled up together on the couch watching reality tv. But whether that means there is actually a problem or just that Blaine had a better offer for today, Kurt doesn’t know. He tries to convince himself that it is probably neither one; Blaine just needed space, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. But he’s a tough sell.

Finally the day goes by, and Kurt heads over to the Crazy Leopard. He’s never been to this particular bar before, and he isn’t a huge fan of country music, but he’s looking forward to hearing Sam and his band play. Regardless of his lingering confusion about Sam and his weirdly close friendship with Blaine years ago, he’s got a feeling that Sam will put on a good show.

Kurt is walking down the street, looking for the bar, when he sees Blaine waiting outside, and his jaw drops. His dapper, preppy boyfriend is wearing a denim jacket over a black v-neck t-shirt, skin tight jeans tucked into worn cowboy boots, and an honest to god cowboy hat. Mona is similarly decked out for the occasion, with a flannel shirt, red boots, and a red hat with leather trim and little beads around the hatband.

Mona laughs when she sees him, and runs up to give him a hug. “Great outfits, right? Blaine and I used to go sing at this country karaoke bar in Allston. Gave us a chance to get away from everyone at school and let it all hang out.”

Blaine comes up to Kurt, grins shyly as he realizes that Kurt is looking him over. “What do you think?”

Kurt swallows hard and hugs Blaine tight, thrown off a little by the extra height Blaine’s boots give him. “I’m pretty sure this was one of my fantasies when I was a teenager,” he whispers into Blaine’s ear. “I may need a few minutes to recover before we go inside.”

Blaine smiles and blushes, then bumps his shoulder against Kurt’s. “You look pretty good yourself.”

Kurt has dressed to impress in a close fitting lime green shirt and white vest, with one of his favorite paisley neckerchiefs, but he can’t hold a candle to Blaine tonight for pure sex appeal.

They go inside and find the table towards the front that Sam has reserved for them, and before long Sam himself is bounding out, slapping Kurt on the back and giving Blaine what must surely be a rib-crushing hug. 

“Dude, you look amazing!” Sam says. “I love your hat!” Sam takes his own black cowboy hat off and places Blaine’s tan one on his head. “We should switch for tonight – do you want to switch tonight? You don’t mind, do you?”

Kurt can see Blaine trying hard not to laugh.

“Sure, Sam, we can switch tonight.”

Mona is cracking up behind him, but Kurt has had plenty of experience dealing with Sam. “I agree, Sam, your hat really brings out Blaine’s eyes.”

“Yeah, right?” Sam nods. “Cool.” He saunters off, Blaine’s hat firmly situated on his head, and tells them he’s sending them some drinks on the house.

Blaine digs his face into Kurt’s neck, giggling furiously, and Mona excuses herself to get some air.

“It’s better if we just separate,” she explains, holding her stomach. “I’ll be back soon.”

Kurt rubs Blaine’s back, and plops Sam’s black hat on his head when Blaine finally rights himself. “It does look good,” Kurt says, deadpan. “Switching is a good idea. Sam knows you well.”

Blaine’s eyes widen. “Not that well.” He looks like he’s about to break out into giggles again, but then Mona comes back in, Jonathan and Julian right behind her, and Blaine is distracted from the joke as he greets his friends and they pull a few more chairs around the table.

Blaine is clearly in a good mood, happy to see his friends and excited for Sam. As expected, Sam’s band is entertaining. They’ve got a good rapport with the audience, Joey usually introducing each song and telling a bit of a story with each one. Sam and the bass player take some of the vocals, trading off with Joey; all three of them are pleasant to listen to. Sam takes the lead on a cover of a Jimmy Buffet song about missing someone which gives Kurt a sudden flashback to Sam after Mercedes left on tour years ago, blinking back tears and refusing Blaine’s offer to play video games.

There’s a moment in between songs when Kurt looks up to find Blaine looking back at him, a flicker of uncertainty passing over his face. 

“Hey,” Kurt says, leaning close to be heard despite the chatter in the bar. “I am really so sorry about the whole Ricky thing. Maybe we can talk to him together tomorrow, try to make nice and get him to stop acting like a child.”

Blaine blinks at him, frowns a little. “Kurt, don’t worry about it. He’s not the first jealous asshole to try to come between us. I can handle it.”

“Yeah, but I should have-”

“Really, it’s okay.” Blaine stands up, wipes his hands on his jeans and then ducks back down to give Kurt a quick kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

Julian is quizzing Kurt about the pit orchestra for _Into the Woods_ (which Kurt really doesn’t know much about except that it’s there) when Sam’s voice over the mic gets his attention.

“Well, folks, you’re in for a treat this evening.” Sam’s southern drawl is definitely turned on tonight. “I didn’t think he’d agree, but I should have realized he couldn’t resist singing a song with me.” The audience laughs at Sam’s joke, as Sam tips his hat and flirts. “He’s got a night off from his Broadway show, and so you’re all going to be lucky enough to see him without paying a few hundred bucks for the privilege. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to one of the best guys in the world, Blaine Anderson.”

Blaine takes the stage and Kurt hears Mona wolf-whistling behind him. Kurt’s not sure what to expect, but Blaine looks confident as accepts a one-armed hug from Sam, settles himself on the stool and adjusts the microphone in its stand.

“Good evening, everyone,” Blaine begins, and the audience rustles in response. “I hope you’re having as good a time listening to these guys as I am,” he says, indicating Sam and the band behind him. The audience claps and cheers, and Sam gives Blaine a shove to the shoulder.

“I’ve known Sam for a long time, but we haven’t performed together in years, so I hope this turns out okay.” Sam hands Blaine a guitar, and he strums a few chords as he goes on with his story. “I went to school in Boston and had a chance to hear a lot of great music. This song really struck me, but I’ve never played it in front of an audience because it just made me too sad.” The audience hums in acknowledgement.

“Turns out Sam and the guys know this song too – they even met Griffin House, the songwriter, down in Nashville. And I’m in a different place than I used to be. I think the song will actually work just right now.” Blaine shifts a bit, pats his hat tighter onto his head, and looks out, straight at Kurt. “I hope you enjoy it.”

Blaine begins to play, Sam backing him up on the bass, and the room grows quiet as Blaine starts to sing. “Come on…” he begins.

_You don't need to change_   
_A thing about you, babe_   
_I'm telling you from where I sit_   
_You're one of a kind._

Kurt has never heard this song before, but he quickly realizes that after tonight, he’s not likely to forget it any time soon. He wonders where the lyrics are going, but he doesn’t have long to wait.

_Relationships I don't know why_   
_They never work out and they make you cry._   
_But the guy that says goodbye to you_   
_Is out of his mind._

Oh, Kurt thinks, clasping his hands together under the table to stop them from shaking. Blaine’s voice is so open and relaxed, a different beast entirely from when he sings on a Broadway stage. It’s as if he’s singing directly to Kurt, bearing his heart for him to see.

_Well, I've been down and I need your help_   
_I've been feelin' sorry for myself_   
_Don't hesitate to boost my confidence._   
_Well, I've been lost and I need direction_   
_I could use a little love protection_   
_What do you say, honey? Come to my defense._

_I’ll stand up for you if it's what you need_   
_And I can take a punch, I don't mind to bleed_   
_As long as afterwards you feel bad for me._   
_And you give me all of your attention_   
_I've got deep desire and it needs quenching_   
_I think that's pretty plain for you to see._

Mona leans up against Kurt behind him and puts a steadying hand on his shoulder. Blaine’s eyes are wide and shining under the stage lights, and while his gaze moves across the room, every time it lands on Kurt his heart skips a beat.

_Well, enough about me and more about you_   
_Because that'd be the gentlemanly thing to do_   
_I hope you like your men sweet and polite._

Blaine gives a little smile at this line, and Kurt chuckles under his breath, the tension released for a moment.

_I thought I was done with telling you_   
_But I ain't nearly halfway through_   
_I've got a few more things_   
_I'd like to say to you tonight._

_Get ready --_   
_You don't need to change_   
_A thing about you, babe_   
_I'm telling you from where I sit_   
_You're one of a kind._

_Relationships I don't know why_   
_They never work out and they make you cry_   
_But the guy that says goodbye to you_   
_Is out of his mind, oh,_   
_The guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind._

Blaine finishes singing and the crowd bursts into applause. He stands, blushing, and tips his hat to the audience. Sam grabs him into a hug and Joey slaps him on the back. 

Kurt feels something being shoved into his hand. He looks down at the tissue Mona has given him, and quickly dabs at his eyes. “Thanks.”

“Glad to see I’m not the only one he has that effect on,” Mona says, wiping her face with another tissue. “You guys are lucky you don’t wear makeup.”

Kurt thinks he should correct her – some guys do wear makeup, after all – but he can’t take his eyes off of Blaine, who is making his way off the stage and through the crowd towards their table. Kurt stands and meets him with a tight hug. 

Blaine hugs him back and then tugs Kurt down into their chairs. His face is flushed and he’s breathing heavily, high on adrenaline and more than a little nervous. “Was that okay?”

Kurt grins, dropping his head down and then pressing a quick kiss to Blaine’s lips. “You mean the part where you made everyone in the room swoon, or where you serenaded me like we were back in high school?”

Blaine takes his cowboy hat off and sets it on the table, then runs his fingers through his sweaty curls. “Um, the second part.” He’s shy all of a sudden, and it’s adorable.

“It was more than okay.” Kurt puts an arm around Blaine’s shoulder, pulls him close, presses another kiss to his damp forehead. “It was wonderful.”

Blaine’s friends are clamoring for his attention, and Sam and the guys from the band join them during intermission. Turner, the bassist, has somehow learned that Kurt grew up working in an auto shop and questions him about a weird sound their van is making. Sam is playing with Blaine’s hat again, apparently having decided that some kind of keep away game is the right way to show his appreciation for Blaine’s song, but Blaine doesn’t seem to mind. 

“What about you, Kurt?” Turner asks. “You’re a singer too, right. Want to give us a song?”

Kurt shakes his head, not missing the grin Blaine directs at him over Turner’s shoulder. “Nope, not tonight.”

“Country’s never been his thing,” Sam says, grabbing a glass from the table and spinning around with it as he sings a few lines from “Red Solo Cup.” A few people in the crowd start singing along, and Sam throws out his hands to direct them, laughing.

“Guess that’s our cue,” Joey says, and the band members finish their drinks and return to the stage.

Blaine comes back to the table and nudges Mona out of the way with his hip so he can sit down next to Kurt. Kurt takes his hand, winds their fingers together, and leans his head against Blaine’s shoulder. Mona had stolen Blaine’s jean jacket after his performance, and Blaine’s t-shirt pulls attractively across his shoulders. The cotton is soft under Kurt’s cheek. Blaine smells good, like sweat, and the leather of his hat, with a tinge of sweetness from the ginger ale he’s been drinking.

“Having a good time?” Blaine asks softly, giving Kurt’s hand a squeeze.

“The best.”

Blaine comes home with Kurt that night, just raising his eyebrows at Kurt when they come to the corner where he would otherwise turn to head for Mona’s place. Inside Kurt’s apartment they trade lazy kisses in the kitchen, Blaine leaning back against the counter and Kurt pressed up between his legs. 

Blaine pulls back to take a breath, a hand coming up to cup Kurt’s face. His eyes are wide, and he nuzzles at Kurt’s nose before moving to catch his eye.

“That song, tonight, you know I mean it, right?”

Kurt figures he wouldn’t have sung it otherwise, but isn’t sure exactly what he’s getting at.

“I’m in this, with you,” Blaine continues emphatically. “You don’t have to worry that you’re going to make a misstep and I’ll change my mind.”

Kurt settles his hands on Blaine’s thighs, runs a thumb over his hip. Sighs. He knows why Blaine is trying to reassure him. He’s been so needy, lately. He’s not used to feeling this way. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“You’re not a mess.” Blaine tracks Kurt’s hairline with his finger. He gazes into his eyes with an intensity that no one else has ever matched. “You’re starring in a just-opened Broadway show, you’re grieving the loss of your dad, and you’re busy as hell. You’re allowed to be stressed.”

Kurt tilts his head at Blaine, watches him carefully. Does Blaine realize he’s been acting differently too? “Carole says you’ve learned how to show your feelings more easily, not hide it from me when you’re upset.”

A uncertain smile quirks at the edge of Blaine’s mouth. “Maybe I need to hang on to a bit more filter?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” Kurt swallows. “It’s good that you aren’t hiding your feelings from me. We need to be able to be honest with each other with everything, good and bad. And I need to learn how to handle it.”

Blaine looks down. “It’s easier, sometimes, to just go with the flow.”

“I know. But that didn’t do us any good in the long run.”

Blaine nods sadly, his hands coming down to rest on the countertop.

Kurt wonders just which one of their past miscommunication disasters he’s thinking about. “We’ll do better this time, okay?”

“Okay.”

The mood has turned melancholy, and Kurt thinks that maybe they’re done talking for the night. “Want to get ready for bed? I’m exhausted.”

“Me too.”

Not long afterwards, Kurt is under the covers, trying to sort out the blankets properly, when Blaine slides in behind him and presses his chest to Kurt’s back. Blaine kisses the side of his neck, then settles down against him, his arm coming around to rest over Kurt’s waist.

“So you liked the song?” Blaine’s tone is light, and Kurt smiles. He’s happy to praise Blaine further.

“Yes, I liked the song very much.”

“I heard it last year, and I played it over and over until Mona threatened to tie me up with my guitar strings. Which would have been painful.”

Kurt laughs at the joke, but there’s an underlying twinge in Blaine’s voice. “You said the song made you sad?”

“Mmm.” Blaine shifts, his knee pushing against Kurt’s leg. “The whole ‘never saying goodbye’ thing kind of messed me up.”

Kurt suddenly feels claustrophobic, but Blaine pets his shoulder and presses another kiss to the side of his face, and he can’t bear to move away. “Because I said I’d never say goodbye to you, and then I did,” Kurt says, wondering why he didn’t make this connection to the song earlier.

Blaine nods, his chin pressing against Kurt.

“Clearly, I was out of my mind, like the song says.”

“Yeah?” Blaine asks softly.

“Yeah.” Kurt turns over, cups Blaine’s cheek. His eyes are wet and Kurt thumbs at a tear that has just escaped, sliding down Blaine’s face towards the pillow. “I won’t do it again. I’m in this too. I promise.”

“But we can’t really promise something like that. Obviously.” Blaine’s voice is tight.

“Sure we can. We screwed it up, but we can try again. We know better now. We can get it right this time.”

“You really think we can?”

“I do.”

Blaine apparently accepts this, closing his eyes and snuggling up against Kurt. It takes Kurt a little bit longer to fall asleep, but when he does close his eyes he remembers the image of his beautiful boyfriend up on stage, singing out his love for Kurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Blaine sings is by Griffin House, and it’s called _The Guy Who Says Goodbye To You Is Out of His Mind._ You probably haven’t heard it, but it’s perfect – give it a try: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oG1IfQx9Oc.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The people in this story are not perfect. The characters you love may make (and may have made) bad decisions. Proceed at your own risk.
> 
> Tw: The sexytimes scene at the end includes a hint of control play.

They don’t get much of a chance to be alone together over the next week, and it’s driving Blaine crazy. He feels like things are finally going smoothly between them, and he wants to be able to bask in it. But every night there seems to be a different problem with the show, something that one of them needs to work on, or talk to Peggy about, or otherwise stay late to deal with. 

Friday night Julian brings a date to the show – not the girl he has been crushing on in his orchestra, but an old family friend who his mother convinced him to see now that she has moved to New York – and so afterwards, Blaine takes them both out for coffee. He had hoped that Kurt would come along, but he begged off, citing a tickle in his throat that he wanted to get home and attend to. Kurt wouldn’t even kiss him good night, worried that he was actually getting sick, and not wanting to pass it on to Blaine. Blaine restrained himself from arguing that if there was anything to catch, he’d already have it, and just gave Kurt a quick hug and let him go.

Blaine can tell from the way Kurt pauses and turns back to him that’s he’s torn. “It’s okay,” Blaine quickly reassures him, stepping close again and fiddling with Kurt’s scarf where it is casually wound around his neck. “We don’t have to be together all the time. Go home and rest.”

Kurt looks relieved, but still hesitates. “You sure? One cup of coffee probably won’t hurt, I could get tea instead.” He’s clearly trying to psych himself up for something he doesn’t actually want to do. Kurt may be a good actor, but not at eleven-thirty at night when he’s plainly wiped out.

“I’m sure.” Blaine takes Kurt’s hand and pulls him close for a kiss, despite Kurt’s earlier protests. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Blaine sighs; he’s tired too. “I wish I could just go home with you, but I promised Julian…”

“It’s okay,” Kurt says. “He’s probably afraid that this girl will eat him up if he doesn’t have a wingman.”

“Pretty much.” 

“And if I am sick, we shouldn’t risk it.” Kurt grins, realizing that they just kissed despite his protests. “Any more, anyway.”

Luckily, Isabelle turns out to be a lot of fun, and the three of them hang out together in a swanky dessert bar long after Blaine should have said good night and headed home to bed. When she gets up to go to the bathroom, her long blond hair swinging behind her and her tall boots clacking on the floor, Blaine shoots Julian a look. 

“What?”

“I think you owe your mom a thank you.”

Julian purses his lips. “I’ve known Izzy since we were in first grade. It’s not like that.”

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“Not since before college. She went to school in L.A.”

“So it’s not as if you’ve been spending every minute together. And besides,” Blaine exaggerates looking left and right, enjoying the moment, “I think she likes you,” he whispers.

“She does not. Not in that way.” Julian actually looks sad, and Blaine feels bad for teasing him.

“Are you sure? Because she’s been giving you some pretty flirty looks.”

“That’s just how she is,” Julian protests.

“Maybe it’s just how she is with _you._ ” 

Julian shakes his head. “This kind of thing doesn’t happen to me. You know that.”

“What kind of thing?”

“Isabelle is gorgeous. She’s tall, and self-confident. She talks to everybody – she practically told you her whole life story in the first ten minutes she met you. She’s fearless. Everyone loves her. She’s not going to fall for me.”

“Julian,” Blaine says, leaning closer and catching his friend’s eye, “you are way too hard on yourself. You are a rising star in a prominent orchestra, an extremely handsome guy-”

“You really think so?” Julian interrupts. “I mean, I know there’s nothing too weird about me, but do you think I’m physically, like, attractive?”

Blaine is somewhat taken aback. He’s a little uncomfortable offering Julian further commentary on his looks. “Um, are you asking if I personally think you’re attractive?”

“Because, I mean, you’d know, right?” The sincere expression on Julian’s face makes it impossible for Blaine to feel very awkward; Julian clearly has claim to all the awkward this conversation could ever have.

Blaine figures it couldn’t hurt to try to give Julian the reassurance he’s looking for. “You know my heart belongs to someone else, Julian, and obviously everyone is attracted to different traits, but, objectively speaking…” Julian nods, as if to say ‘go on,’ so Blaine does. “You have nothing to worry about. You have a beautiful smile, lovely dark eyes, thick straight hair, altogether quite good looking.”

“So, if I were gay-”

Fortunately this line of questioning is cut off by Isabelle’s return. But Blaine can’t help but poke Julian’s foot under the table when Isabelle directs a series of questions at Julian, coyly touching his hand with a fingertip for emphasis. The blush on Julian’s cheeks is beyond charming. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet your beau tonight, Blaine,” Isabelle says as they gather their coats and scarves, finally giving in to the realization that the evening must come to an end. “Please tell him how much I enjoyed his performance in the show. He was a fantastic Jack. He brought me to tears, and that doesn’t happen very often.”

Taking in Isabelle, with her easy smile and quick laugh, Blaine thinks that must be true. “I’ll tell him. Hopefully next time he can join us.”

Julian starts at Blaine’s assumption that there will be a next time, but Isabelle goes along with it swimmingly. “Definitely. Maybe we can all get together for lunch, so it doesn’t conflict with a performance?”

“That’d be great.” Hugs are exchanged – and if Isabelle holds Julian just a bit longer than she did Blaine, well, Blaine isn’t insulted in the least. She jumps into a cab, leaving Julian speechless on the sidewalk.

“She likes you, Jules,” Blaine says softly, bumping his shoulder against his friend’s. “Try to accept it.”

Julian shakes his head, looking down at the ground. “I’m not the guy that gets the girl.”

“Maybe this time, you are.”

*****  
The next day Blaine picks Kurt up outside his apartment and they stop by a deli to get sandwiches before heading to the theater. Kurt cheerfully informs Blaine that he doesn’t feel sick at all, that the tickle in his throat last night must have just been fatigue. He listens with interest as Blaine describes his evening with Julian and Isabelle. But then something in his face changes as Blaine passes on Isabelle’s compliment.

“Did Julian say anything about me?” Kurt asks, his eyes shifting away for a moment as they navigate the busy streets near the theater.

“Not really,” Blaine replies honestly, trying to remember if Julian said anything in particular. “He was sorry you couldn’t come.”

“Sure he was,” Kurt says softly.

“Hey, wait a minute.” Blaine stops walking and puts a hand on Kurt’s arm to get his attention. “Do you still think Julian doesn’t like you? He’s super-shy, like more than anyone I’ve ever met. And he’s not great with getting to know new people – but that’s not about you, not at all. He thinks you’re great. And he and Isabelle raved about your performance.”

Kurt shrugs. 

“Look, I know he was hesitant, that first time we all had dinner. But he was just worried about me. And now, frankly, he has the best reason to like you.” Blaine waits until he catches Kurt’s eye to continue. “ _I_ like you. I love you. He knows that. And believe me, that’s what he actually cares about.”

Kurt shakes his head and they resume their walk down the street. “I really do want to get to know your friends. I should have gone last night.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.” Blaine skips a step to catch up, feeling like this conversation should really be happening somewhere besides a busy sidewalk on Forty-Sixth street. “You weren’t feeling well, why should you have pushed yourself? Get to know them when you feel like it, there’s no rush.”

Kurt turns to Blaine and stops walking so quickly that Blaine literally bumps into him. “You mean it, don’t you?”

Blaine raises an eyebrow in question.

“There’s no rush.” Kurt’s eyes are wide as he repeats Blaine’s words. 

Blaine smiles in understanding. It isn’t as if the phrase was premeditated, but it’s still true. “There’s no rush,” he repeats firmly. “We’re going to be together for a long time. Plenty of time to get to know the whole crazy group of them, if you want to. And then some.”

Kurt wraps his free arm around Blaine’s shoulder, the bag with their dinner bumping against his leg. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Although…” Blaine pulls back. “I might have misspoken about Julian.” Kurt looks at him curiously. “It might not be a one-sided crush this time. I think Isabelle likes him.”

Kurt’s eyes light up. “Oooh, tell me more!”

**********

After rehearsal that night, they ride the subway home together, Blaine resting his head on Kurt’s shoulder. Stage door had taken longer than usual, even for a Saturday night. The show has gotten great exposure in the media, and seems to be developing quite a following, but every extra half hour they spend greeting fans is a half hour less they have for sleep. Not that Blaine would change anything – he loves talking to people after the show, taking selfies and making them smile – but it means they are both generally just too exhausted for much in the way of after-show activities. 

Kurt walks him to his door and they exchange a few sleepy goodnight kisses, standing outside on the almost deserted sidewalk. Kurt smiles softly, stepping away, and Blaine can see in his face that he’s disappointed that they don’t have any more time together tonight. Blaine is disappointed, too.

But Blaine has had a plan brewing for a few days now, and decides that sleepy or not, he’s at least got to say something.

“Hey, Kurt?”

Kurt turns back towards him, his smile widening. “Yes?”

Blaine moves closer, reaches up and adjusts the strap of Kurt’s bag on his shoulder. He’s not quite sure how to raise it. “You know our plans for Monday night?”

“I thought we were going out with Catherine for her birthday?” Catherine plays Florinda, sister to Mona’s Lucinda, in the show.

Here’s where the plan comes in. “They decided to make it a girls’ night out.”

“Oh.” Kurt still hasn’t realized what this means.

“So Mona’s going. And she’s going to stay overnight at Catherine’s so they can make the most of it.”

Now Kurt gets it and his eyes grow wide. “She’ll be gone all night?”

“Mm-hm.”

“And we don’t have to go?”

“Nope.” Blaine grins. “I was hoping you might want to come over for dinner and have a sleepover with me instead.”

Kurt’s face lights up, the tiredness disappearing for a moment. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Kurt nods and bounces a little, as he takes Blaine’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot,” he says, a wide smile spreading across his face.

It feels so good to make Kurt smile like that. “So it’s a plan?” Blaine asks, leaning in to give Kurt a soft kiss.

“It’s a plan.”

*****  
Monday can’t come quickly enough for Blaine. Whatever reservations he had been feeling about intimacy with Kurt seem to have disappeared lately, replaced by only his desire to be as close to him as possible. Blaine remembers why he was hesitant, and it all makes sense, rationally, but somehow no longer seems necessary. He hopes this is a sign of mental health and their maturing relationship, and not just his hormones overpowering reason.

Monday morning Blaine goes for a long run, trying to work off as much nervous energy as he can. It’s chilly out, but he gets a good rhythm going and takes one of his more challenging routes, pushing himself until he reaches that zen-like place where his worries fall away and he just feels good. Back at the apartment, he showers slowly, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

By the time he has dressed for the day, however, Mona is up and about, and eager to talk about his evening’s plans. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Blaine had been pleased about having the apartment to himself.

“Are you cooking dinner, or going out? Because if you’re going out, there’s a new Italian place that looks good. Unless Kurt doesn’t like Italian?”

 _Who doesn’t like Italian?_ Blaine thinks to himself. “We’re eating in. I was thinking something simple, maybe chicken and broccoli?”

“That stir-fry thing? You make that all the time.”

This is clearly an overstatement, even if it is one of his go-to dishes. “That’s not true, you just don’t like broccoli.”

“Don’t you want to impress him?”

“Kurt likes healthy food. He’ll be impressed that I made something without alfredo sauce.”

“Yeah, but come on, stir-fry isn’t exactly romantic. At least do something creative.” 

Mona heads off into the bathroom, and Blaine is left standing in the kitchen with his half-finished shopping list in his hand. Is there actually something un-romantic about stir-fry? Should he find something different to make? Or maybe they should go out to eat, and not risk Blaine screwing up their dinner? He sighs, and pulls out his phone to look for other recipes. Clearly any hope he had of getting through this day without worrying was in vain.

Blaine’s just about to give up and call for reservations when he gets a text.

**From Kurt: Is it too early to tell you I’m really excited about tonight?**

Blaine smiles, and quickly types back a response.

**From Blaine: No, not at all. I’m excited too. But Mona thinks my dinner plans are boring.**

**From Kurt: You could feed me pop-tarts and I would still be thrilled.**

**From Blaine: Yeah? What kind? I think Sam finished my stash, but I can buy more.**

**From Kurt: Any kind. Don’t stress.**

**From Blaine: Okay.**

**From Kurt: You’re stressing, aren’t you? Really, don’t.**

Blaine takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. **Sorry, can’t help it.** Blaine’s phone rings a moment later. It’s Kurt.

“Would it make it better if I told you I’ve been craving Thai take-out?”

Blaine laughs despite himself. Maybe the calories would be worth the reduced anxiety. “You’re not playing fair – you know how much I like Thai food. But I wanted to do something special. Mona will tease me forever if we get take-out.”

“At the risk of sounding completely cheesy, I just want to spend time with you when we aren’t both completely exhausted. I honestly don’t care what we eat.”

“You sure?” Blaine isn’t completely convinced, and he’s a little annoyed at himself for letting Kurt know he doesn’t have everything organized yet. He just wanted a perfect date night. At the same time, not having to worry about cooking would be a huge relief.

“I’m sure. Besides, I’d rather have your full attention tonight.” Kurt’s voice has dropped lower, and Blaine’s body immediately tightens in response. 

“Oh… that’s, um, that’s good.” Blaine can feel his face flushing. “I can do that.”

“So – see you at six for Thai take-out?” Kurt’s tone does not match his casual words. Leave it to Kurt to make their evening’s dinner plans sound sexual.

Blaine stutters through saying good bye, and hangs up the phone. He glances at his watch… only seven hours to go until Kurt comes over, and he can’t even kill time by going grocery shopping. At least by then the apartment will be very, very clean.

*****

Kurt stands outside the door to Blaine and Mona’s apartment, gathering his thoughts. It seems like they never have a chance for a night like this, when there’s nothing dramatic going on, just time for the two of them to be together. He wants tonight to be perfect, and he knows Blaine does too, and yet nothing is ever perfect. He’s got to be ready to go with the flow, to bend instead of break, when something inevitably messes with their perfectly imagined evening. Kurt doesn’t want just perfect moments with Blaine. He wants all the moments, and he needs Blaine to know it.

He takes a deep breath in and knocks on the door. He can do this.

Blaine opens the door, and Kurt feels himself warm at the sight of his gorgeous boyfriend. Blaine is wearing jeans and one of his multiple black button downs, in keeping with the more low key look he adopts these days, but the jeans are skin tight and the shirt is well fitted, showing off his broad shoulders and tiny waist. Blaine pulls him into a hug and then steps back, running a finger over the placket of his striped gray vest.

“You look great,” Blaine breathes out, and Kurt preens a little. He had dressed with care tonight – as he always does – and had been hoping that Blaine would notice, as shallow as that might seem. They spend so much time together in costume, it’s fun to have a night just to dress for each other. And Kurt is well aware that his slim maroon pants and gray on gray top show off his assets quite well. He’s even donned a gold patterned neckerchief for the occasion, something to bring the whole outfit together.

Kurt pulls himself out of his own head and smiles at Blaine. “You do, too.” Kurt reaches up and tentatively brushes at a curl on Blaine’s forehead. “I love your curls, you know.”

Blaine blushes and Kurt can see him resisting the urge to turn his head away. “I had kind of gotten that idea.” It’s true that Kurt has a hard time keeping his hands to himself when it comes to Blaine’s hair these days.

“Yeah?” Kurt steps closer, leans forward and brushes his lips against Blaine’s. “Good.” Blaine doesn’t have his glasses on tonight, and Kurt leans his head against Blaine’s forehead, just pressing their faces together. They kiss softly, and then Blaine steps back, looking unsure.

Kurt hangs up his coat and toes off his shoes as he glances around the small apartment. The small table in the kitchen is set for two, complete with wine glasses and candles ready to be lit.

Blaine follows his eyes. “I didn’t know if I should order the food yet, or wait for you to get here.”

“Waiting was fine. That way we can pick out what we want together,” Kurt assures him. “Everything looks lovely.” Kurt drops his bag on the floor in the doorway and walks into the kitchen. 

“Do you want a drink first?” Blaine has trailed behind him, and is standing by the table, his hands twitching with the need to do something.

“Sure.” Kurt isn’t really thirsty, but he figures he should let Blaine execute his plan. Blaine looks terribly nervous, and in fact his hands are shaking so much that he’s having trouble pouring the sparkling cider into the stemmed glasses on the table. Kurt isn’t sure what to do; he doesn’t want to interrupt and draw attention to it. But when Blaine finally sets the bottle down, Kurt picks up both glasses and tilts his head towards the couch. “Want to sit down?”

They make themselves comfortable, Kurt setting the glasses on the coffee table and then turning to Blaine. “Can I tell you something?” Kurt asks softly. He’s trying to catch Blaine’s eyes, but Blaine is studying his knees very carefully.

“Of course.”

“I’m kind of nervous about tonight.”

Blaine’s mouth twitches up, and he finally turns to look at Kurt. “Me too.” He laughs at himself, not very kindly. “I know you can tell.”

Kurt hates that Blaine takes things so hard. “That’s okay, though, right?”

Blaine focuses on him, his honey eyes searching his own. “Yeah, it’s okay.” He swallows hard. “I guess I’m glad you can tell how I’m feeling. That’s got to be good, even if it’s embarrassing. I just wish sometimes I could get a grip on myself.”

“What do you mean?”

Blaine sighs and leans back against the couch, but he takes Kurt’s hand and pulls it with him, tugging Kurt closer. “I’ve spent all this week wanting to have time with you. I’ve been planning tonight for days. But I was all over the place today. I thought I had calmed myself down with a serious run, but then I got all stressed about dinner, and now I think the bathroom floor is literally clean enough to eat off of.”

Kurt would think this was cute, if Blaine didn’t seem so distressed. “Isn’t it normal, to be nervous about a date?”

Blaine blinks at Kurt. “This isn’t just any date.”

“No?” As far as Kurt knows, they haven’t yet hit any particular anniversary, and it’s not a special occasion.

“No,” Blaine says, sitting up and moving closer to Kurt. “Because it’s with you.”

“Oh.” Kurt loses himself in Blaine’s eyes for a moment. “I brought you a present.” He kicks himself mentally as he says his – he had meant to wait until later, maybe after they ate, maybe when they were getting dressed tomorrow morning. He definitely hadn’t meant to risk further upping the ante so soon in the evening.

But Blaine’s eyes light up, and Kurt can’t regret his words. “You did? Why? You didn’t have to do that.”

“No reason, really.” Kurt stands up and goes to where he left his bag by the door, pulling out a small, tidy package wrapped in silver paper. He sits back down next to Blaine and hands it to him. “It’s not much.” 

Blaine smiles as he unwraps the paper, but as he sees what’s inside his expression changes, and Kurt isn’t sure he can read it. 

“Kurt… it’s lovely.” It’s a bowtie, heavy cream colored silk with a sheet music pattern printed on it. A Mozart sonata that Kurt knows Blaine will recognize. Blaine takes it in his hands and runs it through his fingers.

“I know you don’t wear them that much anymore, but I saw the fabric last week and I couldn’t resist.”

“You made it?” Blaine’s eyes are wide as he looks up at Kurt.

“Yeah, so if it falls apart, you know who to blame.” Blaine doesn’t respond, just continues to stroke over the rich silk with his fingertips. “You don’t have to wear it. It’s more a token, than anything else.”

“No, I love it.” Blaine holds it out to Kurt. “Put it on me?”

Kurt takes the bowtie and scoots closer to Blaine on the couch. It’s hard to get close enough to do this properly sitting down, and Kurt’s knee presses against Blaine’s thigh as he leans in. Kurt buttons the top buttons of Blaine’s shirt together and flips the collar up, then wraps the strip of silk around his neck. His face is close to Blaine’s, and as he weaves the material back and forth, tying the bow firmly in place, he can hear Blaine’s breathing speed up. 

Kurt flips Blaine’s collar back down, adjusting the tie until it is straight, and sits back to check his work, his hands resting on Blaine’s shoulders. He glances at Blaine’s face, and sucks in a breath at the sight. Blaine’s eyes have slipped closed, and he looks peaceful, more relaxed than he has all night. 

Curious, Kurt puts a hand to Blaine’s neck, and runs a finger just inside his collar, and Blaine gasps, his eyes fluttering open to look at Kurt. 

Kurt just stares in surprise. “I didn’t know,” Kurt says, his throat tight. “I mean, this was just a present. It wasn’t supposed to…”

Blaine draws in a shaky breath, then another, and seems to regain his composure. “I’m sorry. I guess it just… affected me.”

“Does that bother you?”

Blaine presses his lips together. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so.” He touches the knot at his throat, then looks intently at Kurt. “Want to find out?”

Kurt must look as puzzled as he feels.

“Kiss me,” Blaine says. And when Kurt hesitates a second too long - “Please.”

Kurt leans in and touches his lips to Blaine’s, first lightly, then with increasing pressure. He wraps his arms around Blaine’s waist and feels Blaine relax into it, looping his arms around Kurt’s shoulders, and moving closer until he is practically in Kurt’s lap.

Kurt teases at Blaine’s lips with his tongue and Blaine opens his mouth with a moan that shoots straight through Kurt’s body. Blaine is holding him tighter, one hand at the back of his head and the other on his shoulder. Kurt leans into him, and then Blaine is falling back on to the couch, Kurt following until he is laid out on top of Blaine, their bodies pressed together, Kurt’s chest compressing Blaine’s, hips held just fractions apart.

Blaine’s eyes are closed and Kurt slows for a minute, cupping his cheek. “This okay?”

Blaine blinks up at him. “Kurt. Yes.”

“What do you want tonight, honey?”

Blaine nestles his head against Kurt’s. Kurt can’t see his face, but he can feel Blaine’s hands digging into his shoulders, holding him close.

“Just tell me,” Kurt says. “Anything. You can tell me.”

“I want to stop worrying about it,” Blaine says immediately, his voice a soft brush against Kurt’s ear. “I want to relax, and let you…” he trails off into silence.

 _Okay…_ This wasn’t something they had done before, not explicitly, although Kurt had the feeling that if they had been more honest with each other about their sex life in the past, they both would have expressed an interest in experimenting along these lines. There had certainly been moments when Kurt wished he could just let go and let Blaine take over for a little while, but he was never brave enough to say anything about it.

“I can do that, sweetheart,” Kurt says into Blaine’s hair, and then rolls to Blaine’s side, sitting up enough to see his face. “We can do that tonight. Come here.”

Kurt slides off the couch and holds a hand out to Blaine, leading him back into the bedroom which Mona had graciously ceded to them for the night. “Let’s lie down,” Kurt says, and they climb on to the bed. Kurt winds his arms around Blaine and soon they are breathing fast, heavy with anticipation. Kurt loses himself in the feeling for a few minutes, then remembers what he has told Blaine, and begins to unbutton Blaine’s shirt.

Blaine lies back and lets Kurt work, taking in short breaths as Kurt untucks his shirt from his pants and begins to kiss up his exposed chest. When Kurt gets to the bowtie he takes his time, tugging it this way and that, putting pressure on Blaine’s throat before he finally slides it out from his collar, the silk making an audible noise as it pulls against the cotton. 

Kurt quickly presses his mouth against Blaine’s neck as the collar falls away from his skin, and they wrestle for a moment to get the shirt off of Blaine’s arms. 

“Take mine off, too,” Kurt says steadily, and holds himself off of Blaine with his arms as Blaine shakily unwinds the scarf from his neck, and then undoes the buttons on his vest and shirt. Kurt sits back on his thighs and removes the garments, then lies back down on Blaine. They both shiver as they touch, warm skin against skin, and they move together gratefully. Kurt slides a hand between them to play with Blaine’s nipples, and Blaine’s noises of appreciation become louder as Kurt replaces his fingers with his mouth and tongue, teasing until he’s sucking on a hard nub, then moving to do the same with the other.

Kurt sneaks a glance at Blaine’s face. He certainly looks like he’s having fun, but isn’t as relaxed as he could be. Pausing in his ministrations, Kurt takes Blaine’s hands and places them above his head, and Blaine’s eyes go wide. Kurt is just about to ask whether it’s okay, when Blaine nods at him, and so Kurt slides up and kisses Blaine some more, messy and hard.

Blaine is shaking and trembling underneath him, moaning out praise and encouragement, so Kurt lets his hips sink down until they are pressed together, their bodies both clearly wanting more. Kurt reaches down and unfastens Blaine’s pants. He slowly slides his hand inside, knuckles pressing up against Blaine’s snug briefs, and Blaine inhales sharply as Kurt wraps his hand around his cock.

“You feel so good,” Kurt breathes out, loving the heavy feel of him. He doesn’t think about how long it’s been, how often he had wished for this. Blaine’s arms come down and wrap around Kurt, and Kurt murmurs his approval. Their kisses have become lopsided, barely there as Blaine’s hands move down, one gripping his ass in a way that makes Kurt tense up wonderfully.

“Touch me, sweetheart, please,” Kurt begs, raising up a little and sliding to the side as Blaine quickly moves to unzip his pants and slide his own hand inside. It’s a shock of pleasure as Blaine wraps his fingers around him, and then they are both panting and twisting, each trying to do as much as they can for each other while falling apart themselves in the most delicious manner.

Kurt would love to strip his boyfriend’s clothes off completely and get his hands all over him, get his face down between his legs and revel in him, but Blaine had asked him to take control, and he forces his reason to overrule his lust. He doesn’t want to do too much, doesn’t want to take advantage of Blaine’s desires. And besides, what they are doing right now feels so very, very good.

Kurt can feel Blaine getting close, his breath getting choppy, his own grip on Kurt flagging. He stretches his fingers down Blaine’s shaft, teasing further back, and then returns to take up a sure rhythm. Blaine is crying out, shaking and moaning, and then he’s coming, head thrown back. He’s beautiful as he comes down, smiling shyly at Kurt for a moment before he shifts his hand and then resumes stroking Kurt. 

Between the careful attention Blaine is paying to his cock and the kisses he trails along his jawbone to that spot behind his ear, it doesn’t take long for Kurt to get back to the edge. Blaine pauses, causing Kurt to moan in protest, but then he’s kissing down Kurt’s chest, heading in a very determined direction. Kurt can’t find it in himself to object as Blaine pulls his pants and briefs down further and, with a quick glance up to Kurt for approval, takes him into his mouth.

The wet heat is overwhelming and Kurt comes embarrassingly quickly, shouting with pleasure and surprise. “Oh my god,” he exclaims, shaking his head and pulling Blaine in for a kiss as he returns to his side. “You’re amazing.”

“I love you,” Blaine says, peppering Kurt’s face with kisses. Blaine is smiling giddily and Kurt can’t help but do the same. 

“Love you too.” Kurt grabs Blaine tight and rocks him against his chest. “Thank you.”

Blaine rubs his nose against Kurt’s, sappy sweet in his post-orgasm haze. “For what?”

“I don’t know. For being you. For a very surprising evening.”

Blaine sits up a little and grins. “Which part was surprising?” 

Kurt shakes his head. “I don’t even know where to start.” 

“Want to order the food and then talk about it?”

Food is the furthest thing from his mind right now. “Honestly I think we might do better if we stay right here.” Kurt pulls Blaine back down on the bed. “If you can stand a few more minutes in those pants…”

Blaine huffs out a laugh. “Why didn’t you take them off me?”

“Maybe I was trying to draw out the anticipation,” Kurt says lightly.

“I meant it, before,” Blaine says, more serious now. “You could have done what you wanted.”

“It’s not just about what I want. Even if we want to play with… taking turns, letting go. It’s still about what we both want.”

Blaine nods. “I know. I just mean that _is_ what I want. Anything. Everything, with you.” He stares into Kurt’s eyes, his face so open. “If you want that too, of course.”

Kurt feels his eyes tear up. “I do, of course I do.” A smile tugs at his lips. “But…”

“But?” Blaine waits, an eyebrow raised in mild curiosity.

“But there’s no rush.” 

Blaine grins as Kurt repeats his own words back, and dives into him, his mouth plush and warm against his own. It’s love, and safety, and trust, finally something that Kurt can really feel. No matter what else happens tonight, Kurt thinks it has been a perfect date after all.


	12. Chapter 12

The next few days fly by, Kurt feeling lighter than he has in months after his night with Blaine. He knows how hesitant Blaine had been about the physical aspect of their rekindled relationship, and the fact that Blaine felt comfortable enough with him on Monday to be so open… it fills him with joy, and hope, and the warm, safe feeling that no one but Blaine has ever inspired in him.

Blaine is happy too, Kurt can tell. When he smiles at Kurt, there’s a hint of something deeper in his eyes. More than love, it’s trust, too. Fragile, yet, and still a bit uncertain, but it’s on its way, and Kurt has never been more relieved.

There’s a part of him that worried that despite all he hoped for from Blaine, that this new Blaine wouldn’t be able to give it to him. That even if Kurt gave Blaine as much time as he needed, at some point Blaine would just shake his head and say “nope, did my best, but it’s not gonna work.” That maybe love wouldn’t be enough. But when Blaine slides his arm around his waist and beams at him after a long day at the theater, smiling that thousand watt Blaine Anderson smile at him, Kurt has a hard time remembering what he was worried about. 

It’s Saturday afternoon and he and Blaine are at the theater early, along with some of the other leads. There’s been a problem with the lighting in some of the scenes, and Deb is making them stand on stage and run through numbers while further adjustments are made. Serena and Kurt head backstage after tech is satisfied with one of their scenes, and she sidles up next to him. While she’s really not old enough to be Kurt’s mother, she plays his mother in the show, and seems to enjoy taking him under her wing.

“So…” she begins, following Kurt as he heads to his dressing room. “Things going well with you and Prince Charming?”

Kurt smiles. He doesn’t think there could be a more appropriately named character for his boyfriend, even though Blaine protests that Sondheim’s version of Prince Charming isn’t all that impressive. “Yes, they really are. Thanks for asking.”

“I know it’s hard to have any kind of life outside of the theater, but if you’re looking for something fun to do that doesn’t interfere with the show, there’s a really neat exhibit of Degas’ monotypes and drawings going up at the Museum of Modern Art soon-”

But Serena doesn’t finish her description, as a loud crash thundering through the building cuts her off. There’s a moment of almost eerie silence as the lights flicker and then come back on, powered dully by the generator. Sound returns as people begin yelling instructions at each other, and the hallway fills with people running towards the stage. Kurt grabs the arm of the props master as he runs by. “What happened?”

The man pulls his arm away from Kurt as he continues on his way. “Not sure yet. I think something fell. Something big.” 

On stage. Where Blaine is still rehearsing. Before Kurt can even begin to talk himself down, Mark is leaning in to his dressing room, shouting at him. All he hears is his boyfriend’s name. Kurt feels the blood rush from his head, and then Serena has an arm around him and they are dashing down the hall. Kurt reaches the stage and sees chaos. A heavy truss holding stage lights has apparently fallen from its position above the stage, knocking down several wooden set pieces along the way. There is broken glass everywhere. Towards the back of the stage, Deb and Peggy are kneeling on the ground, with several other cast and crew members gathered around.

Kurt approaches them as if in a fog, knowing before he gets there what he will see. He sees a glimpse of Blaine’s legs, stretched out on the floor – he remembers admiring his dark gray slacks today, subtly patterned maroon socks just visible when Blaine crossed his legs as they sat and chatted with Mark before rehearsal. But Blaine isn’t tapping his foot to a tune inside his head right now, he’s not reaching out to poke Kurt in the ankle. He’s completely still.

Suddenly Kurt is on the ground too, curled over himself, head pressed to his knees. He hears Serena’s voice in his ear, and struggles to breathe. He can’t lose Blaine. He’ll have no one. He can’t lose him. This isn’t happening.

“Kurt?”

He looks up, confused, at the sound of Blaine’s voice. Deb has moved back so he can see Blaine’s face, not just his legs. Blaine pushes himself up on his elbows to look at him, his face taut and concerned. 

Air rushes back into Kurt’s lungs, and he scrambles across the stage to Blaine’s side. “You’re okay?” His voice comes out high and tight.

“Looks like a twisted ankle, and some pretty impressive scrapes,” Peggy says, her hand firmly on Blaine’s shoulder. “We’ll get him checked out, but hopefully that’s it.”

Blaine’s face is pale, and he’s clutching his thigh where his pants are ripped and bloody, but he’s looking up at Kurt, eyes wide open and definitely, definitely alive. 

“Blaine…” Kurt digs his head down on Blaine’s shoulder, and he feels Blaine’s hand come up around the back of his neck. “Fuck… I… I thought…”

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” Blaine says, his voice a little shaky as he pulls Kurt to him. 

Kurt breathes deeply, focuses on the feel of Blaine’s skin against his nose, the smell of his shampoo in his curls. There’s movement around them, and Kurt sits back, his face flushing as he takes in the group around them, all looking down at him. One person, in particular, seems to be amused by the scene, and this Kurt will not stand for.

He steels his shoulders, keeping his hand on Blaine’s but directing his gaze at Ricky. “You think this is funny?”

Ricky doesn’t look in the least perturbed. “Nah, you guys are just so cute, I can’t help it.”

Kurt can feel Blaine squeezing his hand in warning, but he’s too full of misplaced adrenaline to slow down. “Can’t help laughing at your injured cast member? Where were you when all this happened? Aren’t you in this scene too? Or were you backstage, flirting with your latest conquest?” 

“Whoa, whoa, that’s enough,” Deb says, standing up and moving between Kurt and Ricky. “Ricky, go wait by the door for the ambulance so you can show them back here. Kurt, take a deep breath. Ricky didn’t have anything to do with this. It was an accident.”

“I’m sure he’ll benefit from it somehow.” Although Ricky isn’t Blaine’s understudy, there has to be some reason he’s taking pleasure in his misfortune.

Deb directs a harsh look at Kurt. “Cut it out. You’re not making this situation any easier. How about you go get Blaine some water?”

Kurt glances back at Blaine. He’s back to laying flat on the floor, and looks even paler than before, if that’s even possible.

“Blaine, shit, I’m sorry…” Kurt leans down, puts a hand to his cheek. “Are you in pain? What can I do?”

“I’ll get some water, you stay here,” Serena says, and it isn’t until she speaks that Kurt realizes that she was by his side the whole time. 

Blaine just purses his lips and shakes his head.

“He’s probably in shock,” Peggy says, adjusting her position by Blaine’s shoulder.

“Did he hit his head?” Maybe this wasn’t just a hurt ankle. Maybe it was worse. There could be brain damage, internal bleeding – a montage of emergencies from too much late night binging of Grey’s Anatomy flutters through his brain.

“Hey cutie, what happened?” Mona slides down on the floor next to Peggy and puts a hand on Blaine’s chest. Her blond hair is even more spiky looking than usual, and Kurt wonders what she was doing before she got here.

“Lighting fell down,” Blaine says, turning his head to look at his friend. “I was under it.”

“Oh, honey,” Mona coos. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.”

Blaine smiles weakly at her, then his eyes flicker to Kurt and back to Mona. “I know.”

Then the paramedics arrive, and the pained noise Blaine makes as they get him on to the stretcher makes Kurt’s stomach clench. He stands up to follow them as they carry Blaine off the stage, but he’s stopped by a hand on his arm. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Deb says.

“With Blaine.”

“Peggy’s got him. You’ve got a show to do.” Deb’s voice is gentler than he’s ever heard it before, in contrast to her words.

“But… I…”

“He’s going to be fine, Kurt. And you know it’s bad enough having to replace one lead on short notice. We need you here.”

Kurt just stares at her. She’s right. Theo is pretty good as Blaine’s understudy, but the role of Jack is covered by someone who just doesn’t have that something. But…

“Go give him a kiss and then take five in your dressing room.” Deb looks up at the cast, most of whom have arrived for their regular call time. “Mark, let’s run ‘Agony’ with you and Theo right away, then we’ll do as many of Blaine’s other scenes as we can. Places in fifteen minutes.”

Kurt rushes outside and catches Blaine just as they are putting him into the ambulance. They’ve already given him something for the pain, he thinks, as he looks less pinched. There’s a cold pack resting on his left ankle.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Kurt says, leaning in to give Blaine a quick kiss on the cheek. Blaine’s eyes flutter open and he nods at Kurt.

“Okay.”

“I’ll text you when we find out more,” Peggy says. “Don’t worry, this isn’t my first rodeo.” She climbs up into the ambulance with the paramedics, easily done considering her long legs, and then they’re pulling out into the street and into traffic.

Kurt stands and stares for a minute, and then Mona comes up beside him and loops her arm around his. “It’s all right. Peggy adores Blaine. She really does, she’s looked out for him ever since they met. I think she thinks of him as a son, or at least a nephew or something. She’ll make sure he’s okay.” Mona gives his arm a squeeze. “Come on, let’s go inside. It’s freezing out here.”

The rest of the day passes in a haze. Luckily they’ve done the show so many times by now that Kurt is pretty much running on autopilot. But he’s reminded of what happened every time he sees Theo on stage playing the role of Cinderella’s Prince. Kurt actually feels bad for the guy – he screws up his lines in “Agony,” singing “Am I not sensitive, clever, well-mannered, passionate, charming” leaving out “considerate” and therefore throwing off the rhythm of the tune. Mark, as Rapunzel’s Prince and Blaine’s duet partner in the song, handles it well. He dances around with a bit of a flourish as if that empty moment was supposed to be there, before he takes the next line and the song regains its footing. If Sondheim’s music wasn’t so well known the audience might not have even noticed the mistake, although Theo’s grimace might also have given it away.

Kurt gives Theo a pat on the back as he comes offstage. He knows what it’s like to be an understudy, only getting to go on when something unfortunate happens. He only hopes whatever happened to Blaine isn’t as unfortunate as his over-imaginative brain insists it could be.

Finally it is intermission, and Kurt digs his phone of out his bag to check for a text from Peggy. She has sent several, but none contain very helpful information. Blaine was taken for an x-ray, but they’ve yet to get the results back about how badly his ankle is hurt. He’s getting stitches for a gash on his thigh. She’ll keep him posted.

After the show Kurt changes quickly, foregoing a shower, and runs into Mona as he’s coming out of his dressing room. They grab a cab together and head towards the hospital.

“Peggy says they’ve just seen the doctor, and Blaine will be discharged soon.” Mona turns to him, the glow from her phone illuminating her face. “That’s good, isn’t it? If he was hurt worse, they wouldn’t let him go home, right?”

Given the state of the health care system, they’d probably kick Blaine out tonight even if he broke both legs, but Kurt will try to look on the bright side. “Yeah, that’s probably good.”

They’ve barely arrived at the hospital lobby when Peggy and Blaine appear. Blaine is in a wheelchair with his leg propped up in front of him, his ankle wrapped in an elastic bandage. 

“It’s just an ankle strain, fairly mild,” Blaine says, holding out a hand to Kurt. “No big deal.”

Kurt takes his hand gratefully, and wonders how worried he must have looked, for Blaine to immediately reassure him like that. He and Mona listen as Peggy goes over Blaine’s discharge instructions, the familiar “RICE” plan of rest, ice, compression and elevation. Blaine’s holding a prescription for a painkiller, but they all decide they can wait until tomorrow to pick it up. 

“I really just want to get into bed,” Blaine explains.

“And they already gave him something pretty strong, so he’s probably good for a while,” Peggy says, smiling as she ruffles Blaine’s hair.

They pile back into another cab, Mona and Kurt on either side of Blaine in the back seat. Peggy offers to come with them, but they assure her they can get Blaine home safely and she heads off towards the subway. 

In the car, Blaine sags against Kurt’s side, his eyes drifting closed even while Mona gives the cab driver her address.

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?” Kurt asks. “I was thinking he could come home with me.” Because Kurt is not about to let Blaine out of his sight at this point. This day has been far too long already, and he’s so close to getting Blaine where he should be, safe from any falling lights or crazy castmates or other heartbreakingly close calls.

“Um, why would he go home with you?” 

“So I can take care of him.”

“Are you saying _I_ can’t take care of him?” There’s an edge to Mona’s voice that Kurt hasn’t heard before, and he quickly shakes his head. He’s frankly pretty sure he can do a better job of taking care of Blaine than Mona can, but saying so isn’t going to help.

“No, of course not,” Kurt says, trying to keep his voice even. “But Blaine doesn’t even have a bed at your place. And he needs rest.”

“He can have my bed.” Mona glares at him, daring him to challenge her on this.

Blaine chooses this moment to curl up closer to Kurt, nuzzling his face into the warm space between Kurt’s shoulder and cheekbone with an audible sigh, and Mona’s face softens. Kurt fights back the urge to point out how clearly Blaine wants him.

“I don’t want to leave him,” Kurt says softly, his voice catching in his throat.

“Fine, you can both have my bed,” Mona offers. “But let him come home. Anjali’s already said she’d come over tomorrow night to keep an eye on him when we’re at work, and Julian is on call for Sunday. You don’t want them hanging around your place, do you?”

Kurt presses his lips together and lets out a slow breath. “All right,” he relents. “If I can stay too.”

“Stay as long as you want.” Mona tugs Blaine’s scarf closer around his neck. “As long as you behave.”

“Is that code for ‘as long as I don’t fuck things up with Blaine’?” Kurt asks, knowing the answer.

“Bingo.”

*****  
Blaine wakes up sometime during the night. There’s a warm body pressed all along his side. Kurt is so long and lean, elbows and knees and scratchy hair, all so beautiful to Blaine. Blaine’s ankle twinges painfully as he turns to look at Kurt, but he isn’t about to get up, not with Kurt finally asleep next to him.

Things had been a little odd when they finally got back to his and Mona’s apartment late last night. Kurt and Mona had both been fluttering about like mother hens, when all Blaine wanted to do was go to bed. He wasn’t sure why Mona had been so insistent upon giving him her bed – he really isn’t that badly hurt – but she and Kurt had been adamant about it. But when he and Kurt had finally settled down, Blaine’s ankle elevated on a pile of towels and the blankets and pillows arranged to Kurt’s satisfaction, Kurt hadn’t been able to fall asleep.

Blaine had turned to Kurt, insisting on getting him to slide over, even though Kurt protested, keeping a small sliver of space between them. 

“The cut’s on my other leg, and my ankle is wrapped up like a mummy,” Blaine pointed out. “Come on.” He reached out, tugging at Kurt’s upper arm. “You know I sleep better with you close to me.” It’s true, and he doesn’t mind saying it – especially when it makes Kurt duck his head and blush.

Kurt had relented – of course – and curled up next to Blaine. “Let me know if I’m hurting you,” he murmured softly, tentatively wrapping his arm around Blaine’s waist. 

Blaine brushed the hair off Kurt’s forehead, and leaned his face against his. Kurt’s skin still smelled of stage makeup, a testament to how quickly he had left the theater last night in his rush to get to Blaine. “You’re not hurting me, sweetheart. Go to sleep.”

*****  
Kurt sleeps later than usual the next morning, and Blaine is still snoozing away when he finally wakes up. He can smell coffee and the enticing aroma of bacon. He carefully disentangles himself from his boyfriend, presses a quick kiss to his prickly cheek, and heads to the bathroom.

A few minutes later he checks to see that Blaine is still asleep, pulls on his jeans from yesterday and a dark red Berklee College of Music sweatshirt of Blaine’s that he’s borrowed before, and goes out into the main living area.

Mona and Anjali are in the kitchen, so engrossed in their conversation that they don’t notice Kurt until he awkwardly clears his throat behind them.

“Kurt, hi,” Anjali says, turning around and coming over to give him a quick hug. She’s as tall as he is, and somewhat intimidating, her long dark hair sweeping around as she steps back. “Good to see you again.”

“We made a pile of food,” Mona says, indicating the pans full of bacon and eggs. “Want some?”

“Sure.” Normally Kurt wouldn’t eat so much for breakfast, but he’s actually starving. “It smells great.” He feels a bit like a third wheel, but it was his choice to stay here. Might as well make the best of it. “Can I help with anything?”

Mona dishes everything out and Kurt pours the coffee, and they gather at the little kitchen table. Mona has apparently already told Anjali everything about what happened the night before, and now they are both trying to involve Kurt in the conversation, despite the fact that what they really want to be talking about is something to do with Julian’s new love interest.

“You met Julian, Kurt. Don’t you think he’s a good catch?” Mona asks, waving a crispy piece of bacon around as she speaks.

“I haven’t really gotten to know him that well,” Kurt says, wondering if there is a way he can cut the meal short and get back into bed with Blaine. 

“He is awfully shy. But I think you’d like him if you gave him a chance,” Anjali says. “Why don’t we see if he can come over tonight? You can meet him after the show and we can all hang out.”

“Pretty sure Blaine and I will be asleep by then.”

Mona cocks her head at Kurt. “You think? Won’t you want to talk to him when you get home?”

Kurt sighs. The last thing Blaine needs right now is a party. “I’m taking the night off. We can watch a movie, do something quiet. Go to bed early.”

Mona exchanges a look with Anjali and then turns in her chair to face Kurt. “Deb won’t let you do that.”

“I’m not feeling very well,” Kurt says, challenging her. “If I’m sick, my understudy will be glad to take over.”

Mona stands up, frowning. “I’ve got to get in the shower. But we’re not done talking about this.”

The silence is deafening as she leaves. Kurt gets up and starts clearing the table. He figures if Anjali isn’t done eating, she’ll speak up.

She does, but it’s not about breakfast.

“Do you have your phone on you?” she asks.

Kurt is confused, but answers automatically, touching his pocket to be sure. “Yes. Why?”

“Can I see it?”

Kurt digs his phone out of his pocket and hands it to Anjali, only managing to protest once she has it in her hands. “What are you doing?”

“My mom’s a neurologist. It seems like all her friends are doctors, but Teresa’s one of the nicest. She’s really easy to talk to. You should give her a call.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t need a doctor – I’m not the one who nearly got killed yesterday.”

Anjali stands up, coming close to Kurt as she sets her dish in the sink. “Teresa’s a therapist. Specializing in grief.”

“How dare you…” Kurt begins, but Anjali isn’t swayed. She just keeps on talking, her voice calm.

“You can’t rely on Blaine as your only support in this world. Because he’ll be that for you, you know he will. He’d do anything for you. But it won’t be enough – it can’t be. He can’t help you with this, not like someone with training can. And if you keep insisting, it will drain him.”

Kurt is frozen, his mouth going dry as Anjali continues.

“You need help, Kurt, and you need to get it soon. Otherwise it won’t just be your relationship with Blaine that suffers.”

Mona comes back out into the kitchen clad only in her robe. “Did I leave my bag out here? I bought some new shampoo yesterday…” She trails off as she takes in the scene, Anjali calmly wiping her hands on a dishtowel as Kurt stands stock still in the middle of the kitchen, mouth flapping like a fish as he tries to come up with a response to what she has said.

“What’s going on?” Mona asks.

“I’ve got some errands to run. I’ll be back around lunchtime, maybe pick up some burritos on the way over. Sound good?” Anjali grabs her coat and gives Mona a quick kiss on the cheek as she heads out the door.

Mona locks the door behind her, then turns to Kurt. “Want to give me a hint? I’m not very good at guessing.”

“She thinks I need therapy,” Kurt says, surprised to hear himself telling this to Mona. “That I depend too much on Blaine. That it will ruin us.”

Mona suddenly looks sad. “I’m sure she’s just concerned about you. She’s had some experience with loss. It’s a lot to handle.”

Kurt focuses on Mona. “She’s concerned about Blaine, not me.”

“She loves Blaine, and Blaine loves you. So your mental health is important to her too, whether you like it or not.”

Mona is so forthright, stepping closer to Kurt as he flails inside, trying to get a grip on his feelings. It’s too much. He can’t process it.

“I should go.”

“What? No, you can’t do that.”

“Why not? I depend too much on Blaine, and it’s not good for him. None of you think so. I should go.”

“Whoa there, slow down,” Mona says, taking Kurt’s arm and leading him over to the couch. “Will you at least listen to me before you go charging off?”

Kurt nods reluctantly, and Mona sits, staring at him pointedly until he sits down too.

“Answer me honestly. Where do you most want to be right now?”

Kurt purses his lips. “With Blaine.” Obviously. Preferably in his own bed, however, far away from all these meddling people.

“And – all bullshit aside – where do you think Blaine wants you to be?”

“With him.” It’s true, he knows it is, whatever these people think.

Mona smiles, as if Kurt has given the correct answer on Jeopardy. “I agree with you, you know.”

“You do?”

“Of course.” Mona sighs. “Anjali doesn’t see you guys together, day after day. She doesn’t see how you’ve both been working so hard to make things right between you. She doesn’t see how happy you make Blaine, the way he smiles when you walk into a room. The way you smile when he does. She just saw you reacting to a scary situation, and gave her ten cents – maybe more like fifty. That’s all. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t think you guys should be together, and it certainly doesn’t mean you should high tail it out of here. How would that help Blaine?”

“She said I’m draining him…” he says stubbornly.

“Did she? Or did she say you should talk to someone about your dad’s death, so that it didn’t harm you both?”

Kurt buries his face in his hands, curls over until he’s resting his elbows on his knees. He doesn’t want to talk about his loss, doesn’t want it to rule his life. But maybe it’s doing that anyway.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

There’s a comforting hand on his back, and Kurt turns to see Blaine sitting next to him on the couch, his face the picture of concern.

“Blaine – what are you doing out here? You should be in bed – your foot should be elevated-”

“Think I’m gonna take that shower now,” Mona says, standing up and heading out of the room.

“Honestly, Blaine, how did you get out here?”

“I sort of hopped,” Blaine admits. “But it actually doesn’t hurt that much,” he explains. “The doctor said it was just a mild sprain, it’s really not that bad.”

“At least put it up.” Kurt clears a place on the coffee table and Blaine obediently puts his foot up.

“Now that my medical needs are attended to, will you tell me why you’re so upset?”

“Could I get away with saying I don’t want to talk about it?”

Blaine laughs. “Sure. If you promise to tell me after you get me a cup of coffee.”

“That doesn’t really seem like much of a reprieve. Mona already made coffee.”

Blaine shrugs. “Do you think you should tell me?”

Kurt purses his lips. “Well, yeah.”

“Then…?” Blaine holds his arm open, and Kurt slides over, cuddling up next to him. “It can’t be that bad. Mona’s pretty even keeled.”

“Anjali was here.”

Blaine laughs again. “I thought I heard her voice. She doesn’t have much of a filter, does she?” He finds Kurt’s hand and twines their fingers together. “She used to remind me of Santana when I first met her.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, a little bit. But Anjali’s a lot less insecure. She doesn’t take other people down just for the hell of it. If she said something that upset you, you can be sure she didn’t say it in order to upset you.”

“I don’t think she said it in order to upset me,” Kurt admits.

“All right. What did she say?”

Kurt sighs. “She basically took a look at my behavior over the past twelve hours and decided that I depend too much on you, and that I need to see a therapist to deal with my dad’s death.”

“Your behavior? What, coming over here?”

Kurt digs his head into Blaine’s shoulder. He’s already regretting what he said earlier. “I may have indicated an unwillingness to leave your bedside…”

Kurt can tell Blaine is trying hard not to smile at this – he’s not sure if Kurt is being entirely serious. “And that’s bad why?”

“I might have also said that you shouldn’t have friends over so you could rest, and that I was going to skip the show tonight to stay home and keep you from further damage.”

“Oh, Kurt.” Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt and hugs him close. “I’m sorry all this freaked you out so much. But I would have been just as scared if you got hurt.”

“You would?”

“Sure.” Blaine pulls back, his honey eyes finding Kurt’s. “You mean everything to me. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. I don’t even want to think about it. You must have been so shocked, finding me knocked down on the stage like that…”

Kurt stares at Blaine, sees the same fear flicker across his face that he felt yesterday. He’s not alone in this. “So you don’t think I’m crazy, worrying about a sprained ankle?”

Blaine smiles softly, biting his lip. “You didn’t know it was just a sprained ankle. I could have died of internal bleeding on the x-ray table while the interns chatted about their sex lives.”

“I knew that was an episode of Grey’s Anatomy!” Kurt exclaimed. “Why did we watch that awful show? It planted way too many terrifying ideas in my head.”

“I blame it on my early George Clooney fascination. Grey’s is the only show with cute doctors these days.”

“There must be a show with cute guys and less blood,” Kurt mumbles, settling back against Blaine and winding their fingers together. 

“Let me know when you find one.” Blaine leans against Kurt, and they sit together in comfortable silence while Kurt gathers his thoughts. Because they really aren’t completely done with this conversation. Not if he’s being honest.

“What would you think if I saw a therapist? To talk about my dad.”

Blaine puts a hand on his cheek, and gives him a gentle kiss on the lips. “I think Burt would be proud of you.”


	13. Chapter 13

Blaine’s ankle heals quickly, and he’s back at work before the end of the week. The doctor wants him to keep an elastic bandage on it for two more weeks, but it fits easily under his costume boots, and no one is the wiser.

The gash on his leg is healing nicely too, although Blaine gets nervous the day he’s scheduled to go back to the hospital to get the stitches removed. 

“If you’re worried about looking like a wimp in front of Kurt, I told you I could go with you,” Mona snarks at him. Blaine’s been sitting cross-legged on the couch with his electronic keyboard on the coffee table in front of him, playing random bits of melodies and chord progressions and whatever pops into his mind. He knows it’s driving Mona nuts, but he can’t seem to stop. “You can meet up with Kurt later. I’m sure he’s got plenty of productive stuff he could be doing on our day off.”

“If you’re implying I’m not being productive, take a look in the mirror,” Blaine says. “I’m not the one who’s been reading Hamilton fanfic all day.”

Mona grins despite herself. “Do you want me to send you the link to this one? Because it’s really good. Super-angsty and ridiculously hot.”

Blaine laughs. “No, I’ll pass.” He does have a new Finn/Poe fic he’s been meaning to read. Sam has taken to texting him about Star Wars again; it’s as if their old fanboying times had never been interrupted.

Soon enough there’s a knock on the door, and Kurt is there, looking like the picture of ease and grace in a slim black coat with a bright turquoise scarf around his neck. His leather boots come up to his knees.

“You look amazing,” Blaine breathes out, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing his own coat. 

“I figured I needed to look good in case we see any of those cute doctors,” Kurt teases. 

“So this is an exciting outing for you.” Blaine waves to Mona, who is now on the phone (probably trying to get Anjali to read the Hamilton fic) and they head out.

“Every day is an opportunity for fashion,” Kurt says, taking Blaine’s arm as they join the rush of people on the sidewalk. It’s such a classic thing for Kurt to say – high school Kurt, younger, happier Kurt – and it makes Blaine smile.

Blaine’s good mood slips away as they sit in the examining room, waiting for the nurse or doctor or whatever medical professional is inevitably coming to tell him it will be just a few more minutes. Again. Not that he’s really in any rush for this to happen. He sits on the examining room table in his boxers and sweater, poking gingerly at the cut on his leg.

“I don’t understand why they didn’t use the stitches that just dissolve,” Blaine says. “When they stitch you up inside your body, they don’t go back in and take those out.”

“These aren’t inside your body, Blaine. They’re on your leg.”

“I know, but why didn’t they use them?” Blaine pokes at his phone, tries to find an internet connection. Maybe he can distract himself for a little while.

“I think it’s too late to make a request,” Kurt says gently. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”

Blaine pouts. “I’ve had stitches taken out before. It feels icky. No one is supposed to be pulling thread through your skin.”

Kurt looks suddenly paler than usual. “Fair enough.” He gets up from the plastic chair and sits next to Blaine on the examining table. “You can hold my hand if you want.”

Blaine takes Kurt’s hand and gratefully leans his head on his shoulder. It does make him feel better, he can’t deny it. He’s in the same position when the doctor finally comes into the room. 

Thankfully the actual stitch removal doesn’t take long – although it does feel icky, no question - and before they know it Blaine’s putting his pants back on and Kurt is nodding as the doctor gives them some final instructions. He’s still feeling shaky as they walk down the hallway towards the elevator, however, and Kurt quickly wraps a steady arm around his waist. “Want to sit down for a minute?”

“No, I just want to get out of here.”

The relatively fresh air of the city makes him feel a little better, and he’s looking forward to getting back home when Kurt bounces a little and announces that they should go out to celebrate.

“Serena’s been talking nonstop about this Tex-Mex place that has amazing fajitas, and twenty different kinds of margaritas. It’s still not even six o-clock – we could have dinner out at a normal time. What do you say?”

It’s true that the show usually gets in the way of dinner dates, but they manage to eat out together all the time anyway, lunches and coffees and late night dessert runs. “I’ve got a rotisserie chicken and salad stuff at home, I was thinking we could just eat that and then maybe watch a movie?”

Kurt’s face falls a little, and Blaine suddenly feels terrible. Kurt has been in a rare good mood today, and has been more than patient while Blaine freaked out about his stitches. It feels mean to trample on his suggestion. “Although fajitas do sound good.”

The restaurant turns out to be a lot of fun, and they order several appetizers and then the fajitas special for two. Between the food, the chips and salsa, and side of freshly made guacamole that appeared along the way, Blaine feels like he might need to be taken out of the restaurant on a cart. They decide to go back to Kurt’s place, since Mona has texted to let Blaine know that several of her high school friends who are visiting the city are coming over. Their arrival had caught Mona by surprise, and Blaine feels a little badly for her, since their Mondays off are fairly sacred. He’s just glad he has Kurt’s place to escape to; some extra one on one time with his boyfriend is never a bad thing.

By the time they get back to Kurt’s place, however, Blaine is having second thoughts about his intended plans. His stomach is clenching uncomfortably and he isn’t sure a romantic evening is in the cards after all.

“Something wrong?” Kurt looks questioningly at Blaine as he hangs up their coats.

“I think I ate too many jalapeño poppers,” Blaine explains sadly, a hand on his stomach. 

Kurt’s eyes go a little wide. “I’m not feeling great either. I think Serena steered us wrong.” Kurt offers Blaine his now traditional blue flannel sleep pants and an old Dalton shirt, and they take turns in the bathroom changing into pajamas and dealing with the unfortunate effects of their meal.

When Blaine emerges some time later, Kurt is already in bed, his laptop open. He smiles up at Blaine. “I know it’s kind of early, but it feels better to stretch out.”

Blaine joins Kurt, lying down next to him. He tries a few different positions, and Kurt’s right, his stomach does feel better now that he’s in comfortable clothes and can let his body relax.

“Do you think it was food poisoning?” Blaine asks.

“I don’t know. It’s not as if we’re violently ill or anything…”

Blaine laughs. “I suppose we should be glad for that. But I do feel pretty awful.”

Kurt sighs. “Yeah, me too. Figures, on our day off.” He pulls the laptop over and grunts as he sits up to see it better. “Want to watch a movie? Or catch up on some tv?”

“Sure.”

They debate their choices for a few minutes, finally settling on the last season of Downton Abbey, which it turns out Blaine has never seen.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Blaine shrugs. “I guess I was busy?”

“It’s worth it just to hear Lady Edith call her sister a bitch.”

Blaine can’t say that he’s really paying much attention to the show. It’s warm and comfortable in Kurt’s bed, mostly because he’s in it with Kurt, and he doesn’t even mind the way his stomach still vaguely aches. 

Kurt’s not really focused on the show either, Blaine thinks. At one point he looks over at Blaine, his blue eyes shining, and just smiles, easy and open and so very, very beautiful. The pleasure must show on Blaine’s face, as Kurt smiles even broader and turns to him, one arm out. “Come here.”

Blaine curls against Kurt, his head tucked up against his neck. Kurt runs a hand up and down his back, his blunt fingernails tracing patterns on his skin through his shirt.

“Feels good,” Blaine breathes out. 

He feels Kurt press a kiss to his head. “Love you.”

Blaine smiles against Kurt’s skin. “Love you too.”

It’s not until the next episode starts that either of them speak again, content to doze in comfort, wrapped up safe and warm together.

“Can I ask you something?” Kurt’s voice is soft. He’s trying not to ruin the peaceful mood, Blaine thinks, but he can’t help but wonder what’s coming.

“Of course.”

“You really didn’t want to go out to dinner tonight, did you?”

Blaine tenses, surprised. “No, no, it was fine.”

Kurt doesn’t respond. He’s clearly not buying it.

“Okay, sorry, you’re right,” Blaine amends. “I didn’t want to go out.”

“How come?”

Blaine pulls back and finds Kurt’s eyes. He’s really just curious, there’s no judgment there. But this isn’t a topic he’s fond of.

“We’ve just been going out to eat a lot – lunches, ice cream, late night snacks…”

Kurt can tell this isn’t the answer yet, and can’t help trying to fill in the blanks. “Is it the money? I know New York City is expensive, we can definitely try to find places that aren’t as overpriced.”

“No – I mean yes, it’s expensive, but that’s not it.” Blaine sits up, crossing his legs and wrapping his arms around his waist. He needs at least a tiny bit of distance between himself and Kurt for this conversation. Even the thought of it brings him back to arguments they had his first year at NYADA, and they aren’t pleasant memories.

“You were right years ago when you said our bodies are our instruments,” Blaine says slowly. “I’ve been working hard to keep my instrument tuned, and going out to eat a lot makes that much harder.”

“Blaine…” Kurt looks concerned, and sits up too. “Your body is perfect. You don’t need to worry.”

“No, that’s the thing. I do. Not worry, necessarily, but I need to be aware, and be careful about what I eat. If I don’t, I gain weight – so fast it’s almost mindboggling - and that’s just not acceptable for me, not with the career I want to have.”

Kurt frowns, and Blaine goes on. “It would be nice to think an extra ten or twenty pounds wouldn’t matter, but who’s to say it would even stop there? I’m not content to play the funny uncle or the irreverent sidekick. I want to play the leading man, or the romantic interest, and we both know that looks matter in casting choices, whether they should or not. It’s bad enough I’m not taller – I can’t afford not to be slim.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

Blaine shrugs. “It’s fun, going out to eat – you know how much I love the food here. And it gives us something easy to do together, you know?”

“Well, then, we’ll just have to get more creative with our dates.” 

Kurt isn’t arguing, and Blaine breathes out a sigh of relief. “So, it’s okay?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t it be?” He flops back down on the bed, and Blaine follows him, lying on his side and gazing into his eyes.

“I just seem to remember this kind of conversation not going so well, years ago.”

A shadow passes over Kurt’s face as he remembers, too. “I think we had a lot of other stuff going on, then.”

Blaine nods. “True. I was definitely having trouble,” he searches for the right way to say it, that won’t offend Kurt, because it really wasn’t Kurt’s fault – “finding my place here, in the city, and at NYADA.”

“I could see it, you know. I knew you were struggling back then. But I didn’t know how to help.” Kurt bites his lip. “Is that how you feel now?”

The question catches Blaine by surprise, it’s so far off from what he’s been thinking. He remembers being worried last summer, before he and Mona first moved to the city to begin _Into the Woods_ rehearsals, that all of his bad experiences in New York would come back to haunt him. That he wouldn’t be able to make it here. But that hasn’t happened – not at all.

“No, not a bit.” Blaine leans forward and kisses Kurt, bringing a hand up to his cheek to hold him in place for a moment. “I feel perfectly, happily, wonderfully at home here now.”

“You do?” Kurt’s cheeks are flushed, and he looks just as happy as Blaine feels.

“I do.”


	14. Chapter 14

It’s a cold and rainy Sunday evening, and Kurt and Blaine are on the couch in Kurt’s apartment. Hardly anyone had been at stage door after the matinee, most likely due to the dreadful weather, and Kurt is enjoying the thought of a relaxed night and full day off tomorrow.

There’s a vegetarian lasagna cooking in the oven, and the smell of garlic and tomatoes permeates the apartment. Kurt stretches out his legs and tucks his toes under Blaine’s thighs, earning a little grin from his boyfriend. 

“Bored with your book already?” Blaine asks.

Kurt shrugs. He downloaded a new book by one of his old NYADA professors on playwriting, and has been trying to read one chapter a day. “It’s dry. To say the least.” 

Blaine turns back to his laptop, and Kurt pulls his feet in and slides closer. “What are you doing?”

“Just messing around with Facebook.”

“I can’t believe you still use Facebook.” Kurt smiles as he says this – it’s fun to tease Blaine about his social media choices. Although he couldn’t help but be pleased when he saw that Blaine had changed his relationship status to reflect their reunion. Facebook may not be the most hip way of announcing it, but anything that showed the world that they finally got it all right (short of actually singing the Sara Bareilles song, although now that he thought about it, maybe he needed to get that into his repertoire, Blaine would probably appreciate it) worked for him.

Blaine bit his lip and turned the laptop so that Kurt could see it. “Believe it. And look what it got me this time.”

 

[](http://s1207.photobucket.com/user/sandykahn/media/misc%20drafts/FB%20thanksgiving.jpg.png.html)

Kurt reads through the post and Rachel’s response three times, wondering if Blaine can tell that he’s stalling for time. “Huh,” he finally says.

Blaine just snorts next to him, and Kurt lets his head drop to Blaine’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m trying to figure out how to feel about this.”

Blaine shifts and settles back on the couch, wrapping an arm around Kurt. “Care to expound on that?”

“Honestly, my first reaction was something along the lines of ‘Rachel? Wonderful – it would be great to see her.’”

“And then what happened?”

“Then I remembered… you know, Rachel.”

“Did things really end that badly between you two? You used to be such good friends, even through all the crazy.”

Kurt thinks back, tries to recall what he had told Blaine about Rachel. “It’s not even that anything happened between us, exactly. Nothing ended. I guess I just got tired of all her posturing, her narrow-minded focus on herself. The last time I saw her, all she could talk about was how unfair it was that she hadn’t been nominated for a Tony yet. I mean, she’s not even twenty-five years old, there’s plenty of time for that, right?”

Blaine nods. “Of course.”

“And she and Jesse kept trying to set me up with people, even though I told her over and over that I wasn’t interested. It was as if Rachel just decided it would be easier to deal with me if I had a boyfriend, you know? Like it was too complicated to be friends with me, since she was with Jesse now.”

“Did she really say that?”

“No, not in so many words. But why else would she keep inviting me to parties, and art exhibits, and club openings?”

Blaine turns to Kurt and raises an eyebrow. “Maybe she’s got a really awesome social life?”

Kurt scoffed.

“Or she just wanted to hang out with you?”

“Didn’t seem like it.”

“At least…” Blaine slides his hand into Kurt’s hair, finds his eyes, and then presses a sweet kiss to his lips, “she won’t be trying to set you up anymore.”

The way that Blaine says this with such confidence and pride sends a spark of happiness through Kurt’s entire body. “You make a good point.” He kisses Blaine back, both of them just relaxing into the lazy warmth of their evening and being together.

They are interrupted a few minutes later by the ding of the timer on the oven, and Kurt gets up to check the state of the lasagna. Blaine follows him, taking the salad he had prepared earlier out of the refrigerator, and getting out the ingredients for a quick vinaigrette. “Red wine vinegar this time?” he asks, and Kurt nods, the two of them moving back and forth in the kitchen with ease, as though they had been doing it this way together for years. In a way, they have.

They’re halfway through dinner, debating whether to use jarred roasted red peppers next time (they lean towards yes – the fresh ones they roasted this morning taste great, but they were a lot of work, and picking up a jar of already roasted peppers would be a lot easier) when Kurt realizes they never really finished talking about Rachel. He thinks of the lyrics from “No One Is Alone,” where Cinderella and the Baker sing to Little Red and Jack… _people make mistakes._ Everyone makes mistakes. He’s certainly made his share. Maybe it’s time to forgive Rachel hers.

Kurt also realizes that despite all of his misgivings, one thing is true.

“I miss her. I really do.”

Blaine looks up at him, pausing with his fork full of salad halfway to his mouth. “Rachel?”

“Yeah.”

When they finish eating, they go back to the couch and open up Blaine’s laptop. Soon, Rachel has her answer.

**********

In the interest of ripping off the bandaid, they decide to get together with Rachel sooner rather than later. Blaine thinks there’s about a fifty percent chance that Kurt will postpone it, and about a twenty-five percent chance that he’ll change his mind altogether. Neither happens.

The appointed morning finally arrives, and now Kurt and Blaine are seated in a hip little coffeehouse not too far from where they live. The café has been recently praised for its cappuccino in the never-ending New York City coffee wars, and they loiter for a few minutes before finding a table in the back corner. Blaine doesn’t really care about the proportion of espresso to milk, or how long the steamed milk cools before it gets added to the espresso. Kurt apparently does, however - Blaine found Kurt and Mark having a serious discussion about the topic a few days ago. Given this, Blaine decided to have their Rachel reunion at one of the top rated coffee shops in the area, figuring that maybe including excellent coffee in the outing might make the whole event more likely to be successful. 

They’re both scrolling through their phones, killing time as the clock ticks towards eleven, when Rachel appears in front of them with a squeal. Blaine stands up and accepts an enthusiastic hug from her, and then smiles as she gives an even longer one to Kurt, Rachel’s face all scrunched up and happy, while Kurt looks almost helplessly over her shoulder at Blaine.

“Oh my god, you guys, I can’t believe this!” she exclaims. “It is _so_ good to see you. Both of you. Really.”

They sit down, and Rachel keeps looking back and forth between them, smiling and shaking her head. “I’m just so, so happy for the two of you. I _knew_ it would all work out.” She turns to Kurt and takes his hand, then reaches for one of Blaine’s as well. “Kurt. Blaine. How _are_ you? Tell me everything.”

It’s overly dramatic and half of the people in the tightly packed coffee shop are shooting them irritated glances, but it’s perfectly, wonderfully, Rachel. Kurt seems to be torn between rolling his eyes and just basking in the attention Rachel is lavishing on them, as she asks detailed questions about _Into the Woods_ and how each of them are approaching their characters. She happily gushes about her current project when Kurt asks how it is going, but then turns the conversation around again, asking Blaine about what it was like to move with the production from Boston, and pressing Kurt for details about the play she saw him in over a year ago.

Blaine gets up to get them all something to drink – somehow in the excitement, no one had actually gotten a coffee yet. He can see Kurt’s face from where he’s standing in line, and he marvels at how beautiful he is, his face lit up with happiness at being together once more with his old friend. 

They linger over their cappuccinos for an hour or so, and Blaine is amazed by how well it’s going. There had been a few awkward moments, of course, including when Rachel says how sorry she is about Burt, and how she wishes she could have been at the funeral – at this, Kurt just goes blank, and Blaine gently takes his hand under the table – but they move on from it. They have just finished gossiping about an old acquaintance of theirs from McKinley who was now starring in a television show about superheroes (“my show might not have lasted long, but at least I didn’t have to pretend to fly or have red streaks shoot out of my eyes,” Rachel observes dryly) when things begin to spiral out of control.

“You two just _have_ to join us for Thanksgiving. It’s going to be a very casual, yet very elegant affair. We’ve received so many RSVP’s already, so many important people will be there.” Rachel turns to Kurt. “I know you met Jordan at Jesse’s party last year, and he’s coming, with another of his business partners, and one of the investors, can you believe it?”

At Kurt’s blank look, Rachel explains. “Jordan – the Broadway producer? Come on, Kurt, you have to keep up with this kind of thing if you want to make it in this industry.” Rachel goes on, name-dropping like her life depends on it, until even Blaine is starting to get uncomfortable.

“I get it now,” Kurt says, his voice low, but cutting through Rachel’s babble.

“What?” Rachel hasn’t even registered Kurt’s reaction, and Blaine feels a little badly for her as she tries to catch up. “Get what?”

“I wondered why you bothered contacting Blaine on Facebook _now,_ when you hadn’t given him the time of day for years. When you hadn’t even tried to get in touch with me, even after my dad’s death.”

Rachel just stares at him.

“Apparently now we’re successful enough to add to your roster of stars. To not embarrass you at your fancy industry parties. But don’t worry, that’s not going to happen.” Kurt stands up and stalks out of the restaurant before either of them have a chance to stop him.

By the time Blaine manages to grab his coat, extract himself from Rachel’s increasingly high pitched protests, and get outside, Kurt is halfway down the block. But he’s not running away, he’s just pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, hands shoved in his jacket pockets and his scarf flying in the wind.

Kurt looks up as Blaine approaches, his face tight. He doesn’t seem to know what to say.

Blaine gently reaches up to straighten Kurt’s scarf and wind it around his neck so it stops flapping. He leaves his hands on Kurt’s shoulders for a moment. Kurt’s looking away, despite their closeness. “It’s all right,” Blaine says softly.

Blaine knows full well why this particular conversation with Rachel pushed Kurt over the edge, and it isn’t really about Rachel’s inability to have a conversation without listing how many Tony nominations each of her acquaintances has, at least, not just that. It’s also because this is going to be his first Thanksgiving without Burt.

They don’t have time to go home to Ohio for Thanksgiving, of course, even with the irregular holiday schedule. While there isn’t a performance of _Into the Woods_ on the Thursday of Thanksgiving itself, they’ve got their regular two shows on Wednesday, an extra matinee added to their regular evening show on Friday, then two more shows on Saturday. Mark has warned Blaine that it’s a ridiculously exhausting schedule, and that he should seriously consider doing nothing but sleeping on the big turkey day.

Kurt shakes his head, and Blaine can see him trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m not going back in there with Rachel. No way.” They are standing in front of another café, a few empty metal chairs and wobbly tables arranged outside in hopes of warmer weather this afternoon, and Kurt sits down, pressing his knees close together. 

“Do you want to go home?” Blaine suggests. “We don’t have to go back there.” Kurt’s expression shows his frustration with himself, and then a hint of determination, and suddenly Blaine is struck with a severe case of déjà vu and he barks out a laugh.

Kurt grins. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“If it’s fond memories of you in that kilt, then yes.”

Kurt pats the metal chair next to him and Blaine sits down. The chair is cold on his legs even through his pants.

“Facing Rachel really shouldn’t feel as daunting as going back into a room full of people who had just voted me Prom Queen,” Kurt says.

“You were the best looking Prom Queen McKinley ever had.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m the only boy Prom Queen McKinley ever had.”

“Um, no I’m not.” Blaine shifts and catches Kurt’s gaze. “Do you not realize how incredibly sexy you were in that outfit? I spent the entire evening having to redirect my thoughts away from distinctly inappropriate-in-public directions.”

“Really? How exactly was singing ‘The Scotsman’ in my ear appropriate in public?”

“I was singing softly,” Blaine explains, smiling. He had forgotten about that; he was such a goof in high school. Blaine puts an arm around Kurt and pulls him close, then starts singing. It made Kurt blush back then, and it makes him blush now. 

_A Scotsman clad in kilts, left the bar one evening fair_  
_And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share_  
_He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet_  
_then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street._  
_Oh, Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh_  
_Ring di-diddle oh day_  
_He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street._

_Well later on two young and lovely girls just happened by_  
_And one says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye_  
_"Oh see yon sleepy Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?"_  
_"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."_  
_Oh,Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh_  
_Ring di-diddle- oh day_  
_"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."_

“I had clothes on under my kilt, Blaine,” Kurt insists, interrupting Blaine’s song. “Briefs and gym shorts both.”

“How was I supposed to know that? It’s not like we were – you know” Blaine waggles an eyebrow at Kurt “back then.”

“You must have known,” Kurt says. “Really, would I go to a school dance naked?”

“You wouldn’t have been naked, you had a kilt on.”

Kurt pokes Blaine in the arm. “You were totally imagining that I was naked under there, weren’t you?”

Blaine grins. “That’s kind of why I kept singing the song. I just wanted to get you somewhere alone, slide my hands up under the pleats, and see if I was right, just like the girls in the song.”

“You wouldn’t have,” Kurt says, in mock disapproval.

“No, of course I wouldn’t have. I was far too much of a gentleman for that. And half afraid that someone would beat the crap out of us if I so much as kissed you. But a boy could dream.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Kurt leans his head against Blaine’s shoulder. Even his hair is cold against Blaine’s cheek. “But thank you for making me laugh.”

“Anytime.”

“Things were simpler back then,” Kurt says, thinking out loud. “Bullies were bad, romance was good, and everything else was just details.”

“Maybe. I think a lot of things are better now.” 

Kurt seems to sense something in Blaine’s voice that he didn’t mean let to slip out, and he turns to look at him. “What do you mean?”

Blaine shrugs. “I don’t know. Right before your junior prom was when my dad moved out for the first time.”

“You didn’t even tell me until summer break.”

Blaine nods. “Exactly. I was still trying so hard to impress you. When I think of myself then… at Dalton, even at McKinley with you… it was hard for me to be me, somehow. I didn’t really know who I was.”

“I didn’t always do much to help, did I?”

Blaine wonders if he’s thinking of the kissing Rachel fiasco. “That’s not true. You were always so sure of yourself. You inspired me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You still do.”

Kurt pulls Blaine against him, and Blaine hugs him tight.

“So… you feel better now? About yourself?” Kurt asks tentatively. Blaine is both impressed with Kurt’s persistence in the face of an awkward conversation, and a little embarrassed. 

“I really do, most of the time. It’s easier to be me.” He laughs softly. “I’m just me all the time, now. Like it or not.”

“I like you very much,” Kurt whispers, pressing his cold lips to Blaine’s cheek. “You know that, right?”

Blaine nods. “I do.” They sit that way for a few long moments, until a violent shiver runs through Blaine’s body and Kurt gives him a disapproving look.

“You should have worn a hat.”

“You said that already. It makes my hair all static-y.”

“There has to be a solution to that, other than freezing your ears off.”

Kurt stands up, holding out a hand for Blaine. “Want to get another cup of cappuccino to warm up?”

“You ready to go back in and get coronated?”

Kurt grins. “I think Rachel will claim any available crown. But yes, I’m ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Scotsman" is an Irish song with an ending that I imagine Blaine will find a way to sing to Kurt soon, perhaps in bed later tonight... fodder for a one-shot, perhaps?


	15. Chapter 15

They’re in Kurt’s dressing room, Blaine’s arm resting on Kurt’s lap while he carefully pins an errant edge of Blaine’s sleeve in place, and then begins to sew. The show starts soon, but this particular costume flaw has been bothering Kurt, and apparently he has reached his tolerance for cuff-related imperfections, not even letting Blaine take off his princely jacket before attacking it with his personal sewing kit.

Not that Blaine minds sitting close to Kurt, watching his face as he presses his lips together and focuses on his work. He’s just placing a few strong stitches along the edge of the cuff so it stops unfolding mid-scene, scoffing at the safety pin hack Blaine had proposed.

Kurt glances up at Blaine, and the besotted look on Blaine’s face makes him smirk. “Why aren’t you worried about me sticking you?” he asks, pausing with the needle in his hand.

Blaine shrugs a little, careful not to move his arm - the needle is awfully close to his skin, but there are several layers of fabric still in the way, and Kurt isn’t exactly careless about this kind of thing.

“I think you’ve got it under control.”

“If only everything were so easy,” Kurt says softly, turning his attention back to Blaine’s costume.

“Kurt?” 

“I know I owe you an answer about Thanksgiving.” Kurt draws the thread through the cuff one more time, effortlessly makes a perfect knot and then turns to reach for his scissors.

“Oh.” Mona had invited them to her family’s house in Connecticut for the holiday dinner. Blaine had been there with her last year, both of them traveling down from Boston for the long weekend. It was a beautiful place to spend some time, and a short train ride away from the city, but Blaine knew it probably wasn’t Kurt’s first choice. 

Kurt fusses with Blaine’s sleeve, tugging it until it is lying straight, and turns to put his sewing kit away.

“I guess I figured we’d just hang out here,” Blaine says. “Sleep in, relax a bit.” Blaine’s mom was going to L.A. to see Cooper, and Carole was spending the holiday with her sister. Carole had volunteered to come to the city to be with Kurt, but Kurt had told her not to; it was ridiculous, he said, for her to make the trip just to spend one day with Kurt, not when they had two shows the day before and the day after and would probably just be in a zombie-like trance in between.

Kurt looks at Blaine, his eyes gray-blue today, as they often are when he’s wearing Jack’s muted clothes. “You’d skip Thanksgiving for me.”

“We could still do our own little meal.” Blaine lifts his arm from Kurt’s lap, holds his wrist and runs his thumb over the soft skin there. “Whatever you want.”

Kurt sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “That book says that you shouldn’t say no to invitations, after a loss.”

Blaine resists the urge to praise Kurt for reading the book on grief that Carole sent – he doesn’t want to make too big a deal out of it. It’s a small step, but a meaningful one, he thinks. But he also doesn’t want Kurt to feel pressured into anything. If Thanksgiving is going to prove too painful for Kurt, without his dad with him, they don’t have to do Thanksgiving. A year without stuffing and gravy isn’t going to do Blaine any harm. “I’m sure it doesn’t mean _all_ invitations – I mean, what if you were invited to jump off a bridge? What then?”

Kurt’s mouth quirks up at the edge, and he relaxes against Blaine’s side, which was of course the point of Blaine’s comment. “From what you’ve said, Thanksgiving at Mona’s is a perfectly lovely event. Hardly equivalent to taking a plunge in the Hudson River.”

“That’s true.”

“Then we should go.”

“You sure?”

Kurt nods, standing and leaning down to give Blaine a quick kiss. It’s time for places, and Kurt needs to get to the stage. “I’m sure. And…” Kurt pauses in the doorway, turning back to look at Blaine. “Thank you. For understanding.”

“Of course.”

*****

Kurt’s lounging at the kitchen table in Blaine and Mona’s apartment, sipping his coffee, when Blaine comes in the door. It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving, their last full day off before the craziness of their holiday show schedule begins. Blaine had gone on one of his extra-long runs and took a little longer than Kurt had anticipated when he decided to drop by unexpectedly that morning. Kurt didn’t mind, though; the little place was growing on him, and Mona had even made him some coffee out of her stash of dark roast.

Blaine is surprised to see Kurt, and Kurt grins as he watches Blaine’s face register his presence in his kitchen.

“Kurt…” Blaine is still breathing hard, stumbling a little as he toes off his sneakers. “What are you doing here?”

Kurt gets up and steps closer. He can feel the heat radiating off Blaine’s body, which is, in his opinion, quite nicely displayed in his running jacket and what can only be described fairly as tights. He’s never seen Blaine outfitted like this before, and the thought that his boyfriend has just been running through the city streets in nothing but spandex is rather appealing.

“I was in the neighborhood.”

“You’re always in the neighborhood – you live three blocks away.” Blaine runs a hand through his sweaty curls. “I’m a mess – wait for me to-”

Kurt cuts off Blaine’s protest with a kiss, holding Blaine by his shoulders to keep him in place. Blaine hardly pauses before responding, one warm hand coming up to cup Kurt’s cheek. “You look amazing like this,” Kurt whispers as they pull apart, loving the way Blaine ducks his head against his neck at the compliment. “I mean it.”

“We could go running together sometime,” Blaine says, still breathless.

“I kind of think that might defeat the purpose.” Kurt lets his hands slide down over Blaine’s back, down to his ass. “How does all of New York City not just fall at your feet when they see this go by?” He gives his ass a quick squeeze.

“Not to interrupt this potentially very entertaining moment, but could one of you possibly give me a hand?” Mona has come out of her bedroom and is watching them with an amused expression. “Preferably you, Kurt, since you’ve got a few inches on spandex man.”

“Did you ever tell her about Night-” Kurt begins, but is shushed mid-sentence by Blaine’s finger.

“Nope. Not gonna happen.” Blaine turns to Mona. “Kurt would be happy to help you with your height-challenged task.”

Kurt follows Mona into her bedroom, and easily tugs the box she is pointing at down from a shelf in her closet. It’s full of sad looking shoes that have clearly been pummeled by Northeastern winters in years past. 

Mona pulls out a pair of leather ankle boots with blotchy salt stains on the toes. “These look pretty awful, don’t they? They were my favorites.” She sits down on the bed, setting the worn out boots on her lap. “If I wear these home my sisters will never let me hear the end of it.”

“Particularly into shoes, are they?” Kurt tries to remember Mona’s two sisters from opening night. They are both blond and petite like Mona, and seemed friendly enough, but that’s all he’s got.

“I’m the youngest,” she says, as if that explains everything.

Kurt raises an eyebrow and she goes on. “They think I still dress like a kid.” She waves a hand at herself. It’s true that the jeans and band t-shirt look isn’t particularly sophisticated, even with an occasional mini-skirt thrown in. “They’re always criticizing me.”

It’s an irresistible opening. Kurt’s not sure he could stop himself, even if he wanted to. And he realizes, looking at Mona’s downturned face, that he doesn’t want to. “I happen to know a thing or two about dressing to impress.”

Mona’s blue eyes go wide and she jumps up, the boots forgotten. “Would you help me?”

Blaine is still in the kitchen when they emerge. He’s leaning against the counter and drinking a glass of orange juice – still in his sweaty running attire. Kurt gives him a blatant up and down once-over, and Blaine grins. He’s catching on.

It’s easy enough to fit a shopping trip into their day, they decide. Blaine still needs to shower and change, and then he’s got a dentist appointment that he had to reschedule from a few weeks ago. Kurt and Mona will shop, and then they’ll all meet up back at the apartment for a late lunch. 

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Blaine says softly to Kurt as he helps him with his coat.

“Please.” Kurt leans over to accept Blaine’s kiss. “Since when have I ever refused to help out in a fashion emergency?”

**********  
“I feel like I’m on a reality television show,” Mona says from inside the dressing room. 

Kurt turns from where he is pulling another skirt from a rack. The fabric is nubbly, and feels nice on his fingertips, but he doesn’t think the shape is right for Mona. “Is that good or bad?”

“Right now, I’m going with awesome.”

Kurt smiles. “Let me know when you’re ready for me to look. If that one doesn’t fit right, Elena’s got a few more in the back that have a similar line.”

Elena, the proprietress of one of Kurt’s favorite menswear boutiques, has recently opened up this classy little sister store for women, and Kurt is thrilled to have an excuse to check it out. Mona had been surprised when Kurt hadn’t immediately headed for Macy’s or some other more familiar location, but he had just shaken his head at her and steered her away from such monstrosities. Anyone could take Mona out to buy higher priced versions of the same old boring clothes, and while her sisters might have been satisfied with her more grown-up look, Kurt knew that won’t make Mona as happy as something that speaks to her own unique style. He just has to help her express it.

“Okay, I’m good.” Mona comes out of the dressing room and poses for Kurt. “What do you think?”

She is wearing a slim black sweater dress with a wide scarf wrapped around her shoulders. Kurt likes the dress – it hugs her slender form just right - but the scarf… she looks a little bit like she has a bear cub attacking her from behind. 

“What do _you_ think?” Kurt asks neutrally.

Mona twirls around a bit, then pauses, fussing with the scarf. “I think I’d drop food in this. It’s like wearing a giant bib around my neck.”

“Agreed.” Kurt unwinds the scarf from her body – it really is lovely, a thick, soft, knit, but clearly not for her. “Try one of the jackets on instead.”

Mona goes back into the dressing room and comes back out a moment later, petting the black leather jacket with her hands. “I really like this. It’s so soft.”

The jacket fits her well, and is very stylish, but doesn’t really go with the black sweater dress, not unless Mona wants an all-black ensemble. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but if she is looking to expand her style, some deviation from black is going to have to happen.

“Let’s try a few other pieces.”

Kurt can tell they are making progress when Mona puts on a black windowpane circle skirt and won’t take it off. “I love this skirt. This is my favorite. Do whatever you have to do to find something to go with it. I’m keeping it.” She spins around, watching it flare out around her. “I feel like a princess.”

Kurt laughs, and Mona’s face freezes for minute, a little embarrassed despite herself. 

“And why shouldn’t you feel like a princess if you want to?” Kurt asks, giving her a gentler smile. “You might play an ugly stepsister, but that’s just because you’re an excellent actress.”

They experiment for a while more, finally finding a white sweater in a fine cashmere blend that pairs perfectly with the black and white skirt. Tall black boots and a chestnut brown leather jacket complete the look. Mona is smitten with it all, grinning and blushing as she poses in front of the mirror.

“How did you know I would like this?” she asks. “Even the boots are perfect. I can never get tall boots to work, I’m always too short.”

“You were just looking at the wrong boots,” Kurt says, pleased at Mona’s praise. It didn’t hurt that Elena herself was rather short, and Kurt had talked with her more than once about how difficult it could be to find stylish clothes in smaller sizes. He had been thinking of Blaine at the time, of course, but clearly Elena carried over her thoughtful approach to her less towering customers into this store, as well.

“Can I get the black dress too?” Mona asks, as they hand their selections to the salesperson.

“Of course,” Kurt replies, although that leads to a foray into the scarf display again, where they come up with two floaty silk options that will go nicely with either the dress or the white sweater, adding some color but not overwhelming Mona’s frame. Kurt also insists that she try on a long-sleeved burgundy shirt in a soft cotton that will work with one of the scarfs and Mona’s own jeans, refusing to let her get away with just black and white purchases.

Shopping bags dangling from their arms, they make their way to the subway. 

“You’re dying for me to get a haircut, aren’t you?” Mona asks, as they squish themselves into two available seats, bags on their laps.

“What?”

“I can tell, every time you put those scarves on me, and fussed with this.” Mona pushes her hair away from her face in demonstration. Kurt hadn’t realized he had been quite so touchy with Mona, but her hair does drive him crazy. That spiky pixy look is hard to corral into any semblance of order.

“Regular trims do help maintain your style,” he says carefully.

Mona laughs. “Say what you mean – I can take it.” She bumps his shoulder playfully. “I have the feeling you aren’t talking about me snipping at my bangs with my fingernail scissors, either. We’ve gone this far, why not keep going?”

Later that afternoon, after they clean up from their lunch of salad with chicken breasts, tomato, and mozzarella, Mona disappears into her bedroom to put away her new purchases. Blaine comes up behind Kurt as he is reaching to put away one last dish, and wraps his arms snugly around Kurt’s waist.

“You made Mona really happy today,” Blaine says softly, his breath warm against Kurt’s neck.

Kurt turns in his embrace and loops his arms over Blaine’s shoulders. “I was glad to do it. You know how I feel about makeovers.”

“Honestly, though, thank you.”

“He didn’t do it for you, dopey, he did it for me.” Mona has appeared next to them, hands on her hips. “Can’t Kurt be my friend, too?” She says it jokingly, but they all knew it means more than that.

Kurt feels his face warm as Blaine and Mona regard him seriously, and he shifts to pull Mona into their hug. “I’d be honored.”


	16. Chapter 16

It’s early Thanksgiving morning, and the train is filled with people heading to celebrations outside the city’s boroughs. There are more little children than Kurt usually sees, many of them looking uncomfortably overdressed. Kurt vows to never put his child in something he wouldn’t wear himself – at least, material-wise. Those lace collars simply cannot be what a four year old actually wants to have scratching her chin all day long.

Blaine is stretched out next to him, his head on Kurt’s shoulder. He’s ostensibly reading something on his phone, but his arm has dropped down to his lap, and Kurt doesn’t think he’s swiped the page in the last ten minutes.

Mona is seated across from them, and there’s no question that she’s fast asleep. Her head is propped up against the window, and Kurt wonders how she isn’t shaken awake by the jolting of the train. Apparently exhaustion has won out over comfort once again, however. Their two shows the day before had a manic feel to them, the crowds heavier than usual due to the approaching holiday, and cast and crew on edge with anticipation of their day off. Kurt’s glad to have the time to think about something other than Sondheim.

He’s not as upset about Thanksgiving without his dad as he thought he would be, now that the day has finally arrived. He wonders if maybe all the worrying in advance had actually done some good. It probably also helps that he snuck in an extra visit to his new therapist last week, knowing that this week would be crazy schedule-wise as well as emotionally.

Blaine shifts against him and sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Did I fall asleep?” He’s adorable as he blinks up at Kurt, and Kurt can’t resist pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Just for a few minutes.”

Blaine stretches and grins when he sees Mona slumped against the window. “Guess I wasn’t the only one.”

“Yesterday was a bear,” Kurt says, and Blaine nods in agreement.

“You picked out those boots, didn’t you?” Blaine asks.

Kurt follows Blaine’s gaze. Mona’s black leather boots with their high stiletto heels are a thing of beauty, it’s true. “I did.”

“She’s never going to take them off, you know.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow at Blaine. “And how would you know what Mona takes off?”

Blaine shakes his head. “Pfft. Mona’s the least shy person I’ve ever met. I’m lucky she puts clothes on for breakfast at all.”

“This is clearly why she likes having you as her roommate. She probably enjoys making you blush.” Kurt tucks his head down next to Blaine’s ear and whispers naughtily, “I know I do.”

“Kurt!” Blaine sits up, his eyes wide, and Kurt laughs. There’s enough commotion among the holiday travelers today that no one takes note of his outburst, and Blaine immediately relaxes, although he crosses his legs underneath himself and turns to face Kurt more directly, eliminating Kurt’s ability to whisper in his ear.

“Sorry,” Kurt says, grinning.

“You are the least sorry person I have ever seen right now,” Blaine teases. The train slows to a stop – not theirs yet – and they are distracted by passengers getting on, prowling down the aisles, looking for an open seat. A frazzled-looking woman sees the empty spot next to Mona and falls into it gratefully, not even glancing at Kurt and Blaine before she pulls a laptop out of her shoulder bag and powers it up.

“I’m glad we don’t have to do any work today,” Kurt says as the train pulls out of the station. He catches Blaine’s gaze, loving the way Blaine’s eyes look so hazel today against his forest green sweater. Blaine’s wearing it over a white collared shirt with the sheet music bowtie Kurt had given him, the tie perfectly framed by the v-neck of the sweater. It’s not quite Blaine’s old style – Kurt thinks that that would have involved a Kelly green sweater, a button up plaid involving at least three more colors, and a much wilder tie – but it’s a good look on him nonetheless.

“How are you holding up?” Blaine asks.

Kurt smiles softly. “I’m okay.” He draws in a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “Tell me again who’s going to be there today?”

Blaine takes Kurt’s hand and weaves their fingers together, as he recites the list of guests invited to Mona’s house for the big meal. “You met her dad, and her two sisters-”

“Anna and Elsa?” Kurt asks, and Blaine grins.

“As if. Amy and Emily. Also their aunt and uncle, and a couple of cousins. I met them all last year, but honestly can’t remember their names. I think the oldest cousin is Andrew, but don’t hold me to it.”

“And that’s it?”

Blaine nods. “Mona said sometimes their neighbors come, but they were away last year, and she thinks they are away again this year.”

Mona stirs, and they pause for a minute, watching to see if she wakes up. She doesn’t.

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt asks, his heart suddenly beating a little harder.

Blaine doesn't tease him for the silly question; he can probably hear the tremble in his voice.

"Of course."

"When you were at Mona's for Thanksgiving last year... Did they say anything about her mom?"

Blaine ducks his head until he catches Kurt's eye. "Yeah. Before the meal, her dad just said a few words. He said they were thankful for having had her in their lives."

Mona's mom died of breast cancer when she was in high school. Kurt remembers when he found this out, sometime after his dad's funeral when Blaine and Mona were treating him so tenderly. She had told him almost apologetically, as if the fact that her loss wasn't as recent as his made it less important.

"Do they do that thing where they go around the table and each say something?"

Blaine shook his head. "No. It's more like a moment of silence, where everyone thinks to themselves." He pauses, and Kurt can tell he's nervous. "There's no prayer or anything."

"It's okay. I wouldn't hold a little prayer against them." Kurt lets go of Blaine's hand and searches for his water bottle in his bag, needing a moment to gather his thoughts. He can tell Blaine is still directing a concerned look at him. He's a little surprised - he's not a big fan of prayer, but neither is he as judgmental about it as he was in high school.

"Is there anything special you want to say, about your dad? I was going to ask you when we got there, so we could talk to Mona's dad about it. I’m sure he’d be willing to do whatever would make you comfortable."

Oh. It's not the prayer thing that has Blaine worried. Kurt is touched, once again, at his boyfriend's thoughtfulness. Not that he really wants to talk about his loss with strangers, but Blaine isn't going to forget about it, either. He's just giving him the choice.

"No, I'm good. But thank you for asking." He looks Blaine in the eye as he says this, and hopes he understands how sincerely he means it. 

*****

The meal is over, and everyone has retired to the living room where dessert is set out buffet style. It's a beautiful space, with large picture windows looking out over Long Island Sound. The water is sparkling bright blue in the afternoon sunlight.

Blaine catches Kurt's eye and gives him a little wink. Kurt is standing with Mona's sisters, who have just discovered that Kurt is responsible for Mona's new outfit, and are demanding to know where he found such beautiful pieces. Little do they know how tame Mona’s clothes are by Kurt’s usual standards.

Blaine doesn’t want to interrupt the conversation, so he slowly finishes up his cup of decaf and wanders into the kitchen to deposit his empty cup near the sink. Mona is in there with her cousin Andrew, giving him a hug and offering congratulations, something about a new job. She pauses to look over at Blaine, and gives him a smile.

It’s nice to see her so happy, he thinks. All in all, it’s been a pretty good day so far, despite the ghosts in the room. 

Kurt is still laughing with Mona’s sisters when Blaine returns, but he figures he’s waited long enough to be polite. “Do you guys mind if I steal Kurt? I have something I’d like to show him.”

“As long as you let him get to the dessert table eventually,” Amy says. “I think we hijacked him just before he had a chance to try the cheesecake bites.” 

The girls head off, and Kurt turns gratefully to Blaine. “Thanks.”

“If you wanted cheesecake so badly, you could have spoken up. I’m sure they would have let you through.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant.”

Blaine loops his arm through Kurt’s and steers him out of the room. “They are pretty ferocious. But I didn’t see you sending up an SOS.”

Kurt smiles. “They were fine. And not entirely unknowledgeable when it comes to fashion. But I’m still glad you came to rescue me.”

“I thought you might want to go for a walk. It’s beautiful outside.” 

Blaine gets Kurt’s coat down from the hall closet and helps Kurt shrug it on, then accepts Kurt’s assistance with his own as they head outside. Between the house and the water is an elegantly landscaped yard that gives way to a field of tall grass, with a boardwalk path snaking through it down to the beach. They are quiet as they walk together, side by side, hands stuffed into the pockets of their coats.

It's warm for November, warm enough to stroll on the beach for a while without freezing to death, anyway. The sun is glinting so strongly off the water, Blaine wishes he had brought sunglasses. Kurt takes a hand of out his pocket and wraps it around Blaine's arm, holding him firmly. They walk down near the water and look out. It's clear, and Blaine’s pretty sure he can see Long Island across the way, although that might just be a cloud. Or the horizon. He laughs quietly, almost to himself, and Kurt gives him a look.

“What?”

Blaine gazes at Kurt, the natural highlights in his hair glowing in the bright sunlight. He’s standing so strong and tall next to him. So very beautiful. Kurt endures Blaine’s adoration for a moment, then squirms a little.

“Come on, what?”

“I don’t know. I’m just really happy right now.”

The smile that spreads across Kurt’s face is even brighter than the sunlight. “I’m really happy too,” he says, tugging on Blaine’s arm until he loses his balance and leans against Kurt. “And that’s not exactly what I expected for today.”

Blaine feels a flicker of guilt for being happy when Kurt was so dreading Thanksgiving, but Kurt must see it on his face and immediately responds.

“No, don’t feel bad. Don’t you dare. My dad wouldn’t want us to be unhappy because of him. Not now.”

Kurt says this with conviction. He’s right, and Blaine thinks that it’s a sign of how far Kurt has come lately that he’s able to express this with such certainty.

“Okay.”

Kurt presses his lips together, searching Blaine’s eyes, and then nods. “Okay.” He takes in a deep breath, then tilts his head away from the house and they start walking down the beach. The sound of the water is soothing as the waves lap gently against the shore. This isn’t an ocean beach; there’s no forceful power in the water right now, just a calm pattern of sight and sound, back and forth on the sand.

They’ve walked for about five minutes when Kurt breaks the silence. “So, what would you have said?” It’s apropos of nothing, but Blaine has a feeling he knows exactly what Kurt is talking about. It’s kind of why he wanted to take this walk, down this picturesque beach where all they can hear is the wind and the waves and the words they say to each other.

“If we went around the table?”

“Yeah.”

Blaine stops them and turns to face Kurt, taking both of his hands in his. This is something he’s thought about, off and on for the past few weeks, and again this morning on the train. He can’t help thinking it, lately.

Blaine waits until Kurt is looking at him, his blue eyes shining and wide with the moment. “I think you know what I’m going to say. At least, I hope you do. But I’ll say it anyway.” Blaine lets out his breath slowly, trying to control the way his hands have suddenly begun to tremble. “I’m thankful for so many things. For my friends and family, for feeling okay when I get out of bed every morning, for the fact that I managed to graduate from college. For the opportunity to perform in an amazing show. But most of all, I’m thankful that you had the courage to find me, and that I, somehow, had the courage to let you in.” He ducks his head and swallows, and then Kurt’s hand is on his cheek, guiding him up until he’s looking into Kurt’s eyes again.

“I’m thankful for that too,” Kurt says. “Six months ago, I couldn’t have imagined what was coming. Then there was the show, and you… but then I lost my dad. You showing up at his funeral was nothing I ever expected, and it means more to me than I’ll ever be able to tell you. Knowing you want to do this with me – Blaine, I can feel it so strongly now, can’t you?” Kurt’s voice is rising, and there are tears in his eyes. “We can do this, and we can be happy together. We can make it.”

“We can, and we will.” The words of the show’s finale echo in his brain; it’s inevitable, he’s heard them so often, they’ve become a part of him. _“Into the woods to find there’s hope of getting through the journey.”_ Kurt pulls Blaine into a tight hug and he melts. Kurt’s arms are wrapped around Blaine as if he’ll never let him go. Which is fine by him. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” Kurt squeezes him tighter, and Blaine wishes he could just merge into him, slide into his body and never come out again, together forever. He tucks his face into Kurt’s neck and hums in contentment.

“You’re the love of my life, Kurt Hummel,” he says, echoing Kurt’s words from weeks ago. 

“That works out well, because you’re stuck with me,” Kurt says. He pulls back and wipes his eyes, then takes the edge of his scarf and wipes Blaine’s face too. Blaine presses a soft kiss to his lips, which are surprisingly cold.

“Kurt? You’re kind of freezing.”

Kurt chokes out a laugh, and drags his fingers through his hair. “Maybe we should go back and see if there are any of those cheesecake bites left?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Their journey is just beginning, but they’ve weathered the hardest part, Blaine thinks. They’re certain in each other’s love, certain enough to let the other in, to trust again. Blaine knows there are no guarantees in life, but right now, he believes with all his heart that there is hope for their own happily ever after. 

\-- The End --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my wonderful friend and beta perry avenue, without whom this process would not be nearly as much fun. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this story! Many thanks to all of you who have left such wonderful comments - they mean the world to me.


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